AITA for getting a guy banned from my college campus?

When OP, a 19-year-old freshman, was assaulted by a 25-year-old alumnus in a campus classroom, she reported him to campus security. The result? He was banned from campus, and the school tightened security, restricting alumni access to major areas. Though her actions were arguably heroic, OP still grapples with guilt, feeling she “ruined” things for everyone by changing campus policies.

Social media users rallied behind OP, insisting she not only protected herself but also safeguarded others from a predator. Was reporting the assault the right move, or is her lingering guilt justified? This story sparks a vital discussion about personal safety, accountability, and the emotional toll of standing up to wrongdoing in a community setting.

‘AITA for getting a guy banned from my college campus?’

OP recounts her frightening encounter with an alumnus:

At the beginning of my freshman year (f19) a guy (said he was m25 and an alumni) came up to me while I was eating lunch in the campus courtyard...

He said he was a photographer and would love to take pictures of me and wanted to show me his portfolio. We set up a time to meet. He initially...

Next thing I know he’s asking me s__ual questions, licking my neck and has a death grip on my hair. I tried pushing him off but he wouldn’t let go....

OP reported the incident, leading to significant consequences:

I was so uncomfortable with what happened that I reported him to campus security. They took his ID and he was no longer allowed on campus. It was a big...

Now he couldn’t. Because of me, the school tightened security and no longer let alumni in major parts of the campus. All because of me. It happened years ago but...

OP’s decision to report a sexual assault by an alumnus was unequivocally the right move, demonstrating courage and protecting others. By speaking out, she prompted the university to enhance campus safety, a critical step in preventing future incidents. Trauma expert Dr. Bessel van der Kolk notes that “speaking out after a traumatic event is vital for reclaiming a sense of safety and control” (The Body Keeps the Score). OP’s actions likely spared others from similar harm, making her a catalyst for positive change.

Her lingering guilt is a common response among survivors, especially when their actions lead to broad consequences. Psychologist Judith Herman explains that victims often internalize blame for unintended outcomes, even when they’ve acted justly (Trauma and Recovery). The alumnus, not OP, is responsible for the tightened security measures. His predatory behavior necessitated the changes, not her report.

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The university’s decision to restrict alumni access reflects an understanding that campuses shouldn’t be open grounds for predators. OP may have saved countless others from similar experiences. To address her guilt, OP could benefit from counseling to process the trauma and affirm the value of her actions. Therapy can help reframe her perspective, emphasizing her role in enhancing safety.

OP should take pride in her bravery and consider sharing her story (if comfortable) to inspire others. Universities must continue prioritizing student safety through training and strict policies. OP’s actions were a step toward a safer community, and she deserves support, not self-blame, for her courage.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Social media users overwhelmingly supported OP, emphasizing that she did the right thing. Here’s a breakdown of the responses:

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Most users affirmed OP’s actions were justified and protective:

Virtual-Adagio8776 - "You are not the one who ruined it; he crossed boundaries. Reporting him protected others from potential harm."

Runns_withScissors - "You escaped from and reported a SA. The school chose to ban alumni because of the actions of this predator (and maybe others like him that you don't...

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Due-Pie-2596 - "NTA f__k him. I’m so sorry that happened to you."

Specialist_Passage83 - "Why on earth do you think you’re an a__hole when this guy s__ually assaulted you? You did everyone else a solid. Let it go."

TonePoT427 - "All because of me Nope, this was all because that guy is a creep. NtA, what you did helped protect every other woman on campus. I'm sorry this...

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iloveducks101 - "Eww, NTA and you saved people from a s__ual predator. GO you! !!!"

writingisfreedom - "Actions have consequences NTA You would have every right to report it to the cops."

vvxlrac_ir - "'Oh no the consequences of my actions' NTA, you're never wrong for removing a predator from the environment."

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Some stressed the assailant, not OP, caused the consequences:

hauntedyew - "He ruined it for everyone."

afrowraae - "All because of me Lmftfy - all because of HIM! HE chose to act as he did, HE chose to be a creep who assaulted you. None of...

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sphinctertickler - "HE'S the one who ruined it not you. I can say for certain that this was not an isolated incident."

recyclopath_ - "NTA None of this is because of YOU. It's all because of HIM! They banned alumni from wandering all over the campus because some creep alum was assaulting...

Some highlighted the assailant’s predatory behavior:

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hecknono - "how is protecting other young, naive, women ruining it for everyone? He is a predator, this isn't the first time he has done that to a young woman...

btw the only reason he came on to campus 'a lot' was not to talk to his old professors, but to look for young women to a__ault. He could email...

did he actually have a camera on him? if he was a legit photographer he would have a website and a business card and a studio you could meet him...

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and wanting to take pictures of you is a very old scam that predators have been using for decades. In the 1950's there was the lonely hearts serial k__ler, 2019...

DetectiveSudden281 - "Actual photographers almost never approach random women or girls off the street. They never suggest immediately moving to a new location. They can take test shots outdoors just...

This is for their protection as much as your’s. This man may be a photographer but is also a s__ual predator. He was attempting to rape you. The campus gave...

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They realized this and shut down access for any future predators. This is neither a bad thing nor is it your fault. It’s not the college’s job to protect you...

One used sarcasm to highlight the benefits of OP’s actions:

MightyPitchfork - "Yeah, alumni are all now put out and have to meet their old professors at coffee shops or social events rather than wandering around campus trying to rape...

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Most of the professors are probably glad they don't have to worry about some alumni coming back onto campus and everyone who is a rational human being rather than a...

OP’s story is a powerful testament to the courage it takes to confront wrongdoing, but also the complex emotions survivors face. Reporting her assailant protected not just herself but others, prompting the university to enhance safety measures. Her guilt, though understandable, stems from the predator’s actions, not hers.

What’s your take on OP’s actions? How can we support survivors who feel guilty for speaking out? Should universities enforce stricter security measures? Share your thoughts below!

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