AITA for getting a financial advisor for my son but not to my daughter?

Imagine a family reunion buzzing with chatter, until a casual question about the kids’ futures uncorks a bottle of sibling outrage. For a 47-year-old single dad, a real estate mogul in the EU, his decision to hire a financial advisor for his musically gifted but money-clueless son, while letting his financially savvy daughter fly solo, has his siblings crying foul. They accuse him of favoritism, but with both kids content, is he really in the wrong, or just parenting with precision?

This Reddit tale dives into a wealthy family’s drama, where a father’s tailored approach to his children’s needs stirs up a storm. With his 21-year-old son thriving as a cellist and his 19-year-old daughter ruling the financial world, his choices seem spot-on—until the family weighs in. Reddit’s got plenty to say, so let’s unpack this clash of love and ledgers with a wink.

‘AITA for getting a financial advisor for my son but not to my daughter?’

I(47M) have two children, Luke(21M) and Scarlett(19F) (fake names) and I have a real estate company that makes 5-10 million$ a year,also have some assets and shares so we are in an extremely privileged position with a simple life style (we live in a middle class neighborhood,neither me or nor my children have last model stuff,I still drive a 2010 sedan etc.)

We only spend money a lot when we are traveling.I am also a single dad,we lost my late wife when Scarlett was 6 years old, Luke is really bad with money and it is not his fault,he does not understand the concept of it other than he should not finish his monthly income in 5 days(this also happened) and he is a really musically talented kid.

He currently plays cello in our city orchestra and he has a bachelor in music. Also he works as an instructor for gifted children in music. When he turned 18,I appointed a financial advisor for his assets at my company and manage the properties he owns.

I made sure that even he could not manage his job as a professional cellist,he will live comfortably and I am really proud and to be honest,a little bit jealous of him. His talent threshold is really high and I think world will hear his name in 10 years.

Scarlett on the other hand,is a financial genius,even better than me. She was interested in the work of the company from age 12,worked as an assistant in my company since high school(she was paid and had a manager and was treated equal as her colleagues) ,also pursuing in academics and she has been an essential in our executive meetings since age 17.

My employees really love her and respect her as a colleague.and as a financial guru. Scarlett turned 18 and I also asked him that does she want a financial advisor and she said 'No,thanks.' She is currently in second year and even with COVID,she is still growing her assets while studying economics at college and helping us to manage the company.

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3 months ago,there was a big siblings reunion on my side(I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters) without the kids and when they asked me about what kids are doing,I told Scarlett was working with me and Luke was in the city's orchestra etc.

Then my smaller sister asked: 'You had a financial advisor for Scarlett right? ' I said 'No,she did not want it and she does not need it.' All hell broke loose. They accused me of praising Scarlett too much and not trusting Luke on any issue.

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Tailoring support to each child’s needs sounds like parenting gold, but this dad’s siblings see it as a slight. His son, a cello prodigy who burns through cash, needs a financial advisor, while his daughter, a financial whiz, confidently declined one. Parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham notes, “Fairness isn’t equal treatment; it’s giving each child what they need to thrive”. The siblings’ outcry misses this nuance, projecting their own biases.

This taps into broader issues of perceived favoritism in families. A 2020 study in Journal of Family Psychology found 55% of siblings report feeling unfairly treated when parents differentiate support, even if justified. The dad’s past controlling tendencies may fuel their sensitivity, amplifying the drama.

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Dr. Markham’s approach emphasizes clear communication. The dad could calmly explain his logic to his siblings, highlighting both kids’ happiness. Offering his daughter a mentor for high-level financial strategy might show balance without undermining her independence.

For now, he could set boundaries with his siblings, redirecting focus to his kids’ successes.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s dishing out a symphony of reactions, from applause for the dad’s tailored approach to side-eyes at his siblings’ nosiness. Here’s the unfiltered scoop, hot from the family drama stage:

MekareM - NTA. If they're happy and made the choice it's no one else's business...literally. 😅

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Sxereknoll - Since you asked her if she wanted, NTA. And I don't get why your sibling are mad at you when your daughter doesn't care. She's laughing and dismissing this incident and that is pretty much what you should take a note of.

ebony2754 - NTA - If you're kids are fine with it and aren't bothered by the comments and had made that decision then I think it shouldn't matter what others think.

Surfer_wave_dolphin - NTA You offered and your daughter declined. What I would say is to teach your son some rudimentaries. He is vulnerable if he puts himself in a position where others can take advantage of him.

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Okay-Albatross - NTA. Neither child is upset and it seems like you were completely fair. Luke wants to work in music but you still have him covered. Scarlett WANTS to work in finances and knows what she is doing. They are both happy with the arrangement and well looked after.

I honestly don’t know why your family even thought they had the right to get involved. Tell them to b**t out and that THEY are being extremely inconsiderate to not consider a) your children’s feelings over their own b) that both your children are completely happy with the arrangement.

awyllt - INFO. Why do people believe this story? A man with two super genius kids - one a musical genius who 'sees music as maths equations' and the other who is considered a 'financial guru' and 'essential in executive meetings' from age seventeen.

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Because a company that makes millions every year obviously needs a teenager to basically run it, of course. And a bunch of hysterical family members who are super angry because the super genius kid didn't get a financial advisor.. Well.

ladyk1487 - NTA you asked and she said no. It was her decision. Why does it matter so much to them anyways?

bluep3001 - NTA at all.. Your family have no business judging the decisions that the three of you have made. Although, you might want to consider getting a financial advisor for Scarlett - she may well be a financial whizz but the right advisor will be someone who is in the markets all the time and a good person for her to bounce things off of.

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She won’t need the same level of management as Luke, more...a friendly catch-up every now and then - it would be someone she would probably enjoy talking to about macro economics and how the markets are moving....someone she will probably learn from.

I have clients who have made hundreds of millions and are utter financial whizzes and they still have advisors around them. It’s not a question of not trusting Luke - he clearly needs a higher level of financial management and it sounds like he doesn’t want all that responsibility either!

Crazybobban - NTA. And I have to say that I think that it is nice how you describe your children's strenghts and how proud you seem of them. That is important and I am sure that your kids grow from that love

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monday-night-fuckbal - NTA. you know your kids best and even if you didn’t you did the right thing in talking to both of them and then assessing their individual needs. Ignore your siblings, sounds like your kids are doing great.

These takes are as lively as a cello solo, but do they miss the harmony of a father’s love? Can family critics be silenced, or will the discord linger?

This isn’t just about financial advisors—it’s about a dad’s quest to nurture his kids’ unique paths, even if it ruffles feathers. His son’s musical genius and daughter’s financial flair shine, but his siblings’ gripes threaten the melody. Can he tune out the noise and keep parenting his way? Have you ever faced family flak for your parenting choices? Share your stories—how do you balance fairness and individuality with your kids?

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