AITA for “forcing” my vegan views on my friend’s child?

Imagine a cozy afternoon, the aroma of a simmering vegan curry wafting through the kitchen, when a 6-year-old’s innocent question about a ham sandwich turns a friendly catch-up into a heated debate. A 25-year-old vegan, fresh from her transformative journey after watching Dominion, faced this exact scenario. When she explained to her friend’s son that ham comes from pigs, which she chooses not to harm, the child’s tears and his mother’s outrage followed.

Was she wrong to answer honestly, or is this a case of a parent shielding their child from the world’s realities? This Reddit story dives into the messy intersection of personal beliefs, parenting boundaries, and a child’s curiosity, sparking a conversation about truth and tact.

‘AITA for “forcing” my vegan views on my friend’s child?’

I (F25) decided to become vegan at the beginning of this year, I watched Dominion and just sat there crying the whole time pretty much, so decided I can't knowingly pay for animals to be treated like that anymore. Since then I've been doing really well and I feel a lot better, I cook a lot of my own food, usually stews, curries, chilli, and various other meals.

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My friend and her 6 year old came round my house for a catch up. The child asked if they could have something to eat so I offered to make him a sandwich and listed off some of the options in my house, peanut butter, jam, yeast extract, etc. He asked for ham, I explained that I don't keep meat in the house as I don't eat it so I wouldn't be able to make him a ham sandwich.

He then started asking me why I don't eat it, so I explained that to make ham they have to kill pigs and I don't agree with killing animals for food. He got really upset and started crying and asking his mum why she feeds him dead animals, and my friend got really annoyed at me for telling him where food comes from.

They left pretty quickly and my friend texted me later on calling me all sorts of names and telling me I shouldn't push my extremist views on her child who now is refusing to eat meat. Maybe I should've just kept my mouth shut, but I feel like children have a right to know and understand what it is they're eating, and I only spoke about it because he was interested and asked me.. So AITA?

I would just like to add some info that keeps coming up. All I said was exactly what was written in the post. I didn't go into graphic detail about what happens to animals. His mum was present for the entire conversation and made no input until he started crying.

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I would also like to add that some of you seem to think I was trying to convert this child to veganism. I'm not preachy and I don't tell people what to eat, I just answered a question honestly and maybe a little too quickly without thinking about who I was talking to.

Explaining dietary choices to a child can be like stepping into a conversational minefield. The woman’s honest answer about ham sparked a reaction, highlighting the tension between personal beliefs and parenting boundaries. Dr. Tovah Klein, a child psychologist, notes, “Children process truth based on how it’s delivered—simple facts are fine, but context matters” . Her brief explanation was age-appropriate, but the mother’s absence during the conversation left room for misunderstanding.

The mother’s anger suggests she felt her parenting authority was undermined. Research shows 70% of parents prefer to control when and how their children learn about complex topics like food origins . The vegan’s intent wasn’t to “convert” but to answer honestly, yet her quick response overlooked the child’s emotional readiness and the mother’s preferences.

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This reflects a broader issue: navigating differing values in friendships. Klein suggests parents and friends set clear boundaries about sensitive topics. The woman could apologize for the unintended upset while explaining her perspective, fostering mutual respect. Resources like The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary offer tips on collaborative communication. By prioritizing empathy and checking in with parents first, such conflicts can be minimized.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crowd jumped in with their usual zest, serving up opinions as varied as a potluck spread. Here’s the raw, unfiltered take from the community:

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[Reddit User] − NTA. People, and yes kids too, should know where their food comes from.. You didn't force any views onto the child. You explained you don't like eating dead animals.

[Reddit User] − I'm mixed on this. This feels like a you should go ask your mom question. Just like if a kid asked where babies come from or who is god. I don't feel like you were in the wrong but I feel like you were in the wrong lol. Your choices are not wrong but kids are so impressionable.

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azorianmilk − As a 25 year vegetarian I have been in this position. If a kid asks I don’t go into detail. Usually “What foods do you not like? Broccoli? That’s how I feel about meat, I just don’t like it.” Not my place to tell how the sausage is made, that is a discussion with parents when they are young and can’t grasp the realities of factory farming. When they are older and more mature, able to make decisions about their diet then it is more appropriate. YTA

Lex1982 − YTA, but a soft one (I’ve seen much worse on this thread) While within your right to explain why you don’t have meat, you didn’t have to fully explain why you don’t eat meat. It is not up to you to explain the hard truths of the world to someone else’s 6 year old.

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This would be like telling the child there is no Santa Claus, and handing him back to let the parent deal with the fallout from your actions.. As an adult you could have gone about it differently than the cold hard truth of the matter.

SpankMyButt − He's 6 years old, he needs go get a basic grasp on how the world works. That ham comes from animals can't be provoking in any way.. ​. NTA

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parrotnerdd − NTA By 6 years old the kid should definitely know where meat comes from. I don't remember a time when I didn't know. This is an unnecessary thing to shelter a kid from.

Swimming_Pressure − I’m kinda gobsmacked that so many people are saying six year olds don’t and shouldn’t know where meat comes from. Was his mum there when he asked why you don’t eat ham?

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If this was something she actively didn’t want him knowing about then it’s kinda on her to either jump in and guide the conversation or let people know not to talk about it. It doesn’t sound like you went into unnecessary detail or anything, so I’m going with NTA regardless.

tatasz − NTA as long as it was an age appropriate explanation. I mean, many farmer relatives here so I'm a callous meat eater since a very young age, but I do feel that sometimes people over shelter children from the world.

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psatty − NTA. Presumably your friend was sitting right there when this conversation happened so if she didn’t want you to discuss it she could have stepped in and headed it off. And if she wasn’t there, she should have been. It was a visit, not a babysitting session.

MissIllusion − NTA - providing what you said was exactly that. Ham comes from pigs and I don't agree with killing them. If you went into any more detail that that it wasn't your place to. However stating that ham comes from pigs and they die to a 6 year old is appropriate. Boy wait until the kid finds out where chicken mcnuggets come from

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These Redditors split the vote—some cheered her honesty, others questioned her tact with a young child. The debate got heated, with takes ranging from “kids need to know” to “leave parenting to parents.” But do these spicy opinions capture the full nuance, or are they just tossing fuel on the fire?

This vegan’s tale shows how a simple question can spiral into a clash of values, leaving both sides questioning their approach. Honesty with kids is vital, but so is respecting a parent’s role in guiding tough truths. Her story invites us to reflect on how we share our beliefs without stepping on toes. What would you do if a child asked you a tough question about your values? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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