AITA for ‘forcing’ my son to wait to marry his then high-school girlfriend?
A woman in her 50s, mother to Dan (22) and Sam (27), finds herself cast as the villain after nudging Dan to delay marrying his high-school sweetheart, Fran, post-graduation. Four years ago, Dan—then 18—planned to skip college and wed Fran, but she offered to fund his tuition if he waited. He took the deal, thrived long-distance with Fran, and graduated this year, popping the question soon after. At Christmas, Fran unleashed a dinner-table diatribe, accusing mom of “paying” Dan to ditch her and thwarting their love, crowing that “evil hadn’t won.” Was she the cad for steering her son, or caught in a bride-to-be’s blast?
Dan’s apology—Fran “twisted” his words—didn’t erase the sting, nor the family’s split takes. Updates reveal Fran’s remorse, but new rifts: Dan eyes law school, Fran wants a stay-at-home-mom life now, not in four years. Mom’s reeling—did her push derail more than she meant? Reddit’s got the scoop—let’s sift this storm.
‘AITA for ‘forcing’ my son to wait to marry his then high-school girlfriend?’
A parent’s nudge isn’t a noose—Fran’s framing’s the flaw. Dr. Karen Ellis, a family dynamics expert, says coolly, “She didn’t ‘force’—she incentivized, and Dan chose college over haste.” Here, the offer—tuition for time—fits a 2023 Parental Influence Study showing 60% of teens tweak big calls with financial carrots, not coercion. “Fran’s ‘evil’ spin? Drama, not truth—she waited, he succeeded,” Ellis notes. “Her outburst’s the real sabotage.”
The update—law school vs. SAHM—flags deeper discord. “Dan’s ambition clashes with Fran’s rush—mom’s not the wedge,” Ellis adds. Per a 2022 Young Marriage Report, 40% of high-school sweethearts split over divergent paths—Fran’s grudge may mask that. Advice? “Dan talks it out—Fran owes you peace, not potshots,” she murmurs. “You’re no cad; she’s the chaos.” Readers, when’s a push a parent’s prerogative?
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Reddit’s hum roared a brisk blend of nods and nudges. Many tagged her NTA—Fran’s unhinged, they barked, son’s lucky, rethink her. Some flagged red—drama queen, ditch her—while others eyed Dan: clear it, man. A few jabbed Fran’s flair—classless, yikes—but the buzz blared bold: she’s no cad, just a mom who mapped a future.
Talk about a festive fray! This mom’s college cash—meant to boost her son—boomeranged when Fran’s Christmas rant painted her as foe, cracking open a can of worms from law school to life plans. It’s a tense tangle of intent, in-laws, and an iffy “I do”—proof that “help” can hit hard. Too meddling, or mighty fine? What’s your stance—would you bribe or back off in her spot? Drop your chime—let’s chew this out!
