AITA for forcing my foster daughter to go to church?

The Sunday morning sun spills through the kitchen window, casting a warm glow on a bustling family of foster parents and their teenage girls, readying for their weekly church outing. For this couple, it’s more than a ritual—it’s a chance to bond, shop, and share laughter over coffee. But their newest foster daughter, H, a 14-year-old with a knack for vanishing, has thrown a wrench into their routine. After two runaway attempts, they’ve made a tough call: H must join them in church.

This isn’t about preaching sermons or forcing faith—it’s about keeping a vulnerable teen safe in a world where dangers lurk, especially near their big-city home. The decision sparks debate, leaving readers wondering: are these foster parents protecting H or overstepping her boundaries? Their story unravels the delicate balance of trust and safety in foster care.

‘AITA for forcing my foster daughter to go to church?’

H’s story is a tightrope walk between freedom and safety, a common struggle in foster care. As the foster parents grapple with H’s runaway attempts, they’re not just enforcing rules—they’re shielding her from real risks. According to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, over 30% of runaway youth are at risk of exploitation, including trafficking, especially in urban areas. The parents’ decision to keep H close, even in church, reflects this stark reality.

Dr. John DeGarmo, a fostering expert, notes, “Foster parents must balance trust with supervision, especially for teens with trauma-driven behaviors” . H’s running may stem from a need for control or attention, as her caseworker suggests. By integrating her into family routines without forcing religious participation, the parents show care while setting boundaries.

Yet, the friend’s criticism highlights a broader issue: fostering teens requires nuanced judgment. Many assume freedom equates to trust, but for flight-risk youth, supervision is paramount. The parents’ approach—allowing headphones during the service—strikes a compromise, respecting H’s autonomy while prioritizing safety.

For H, therapy is key to addressing underlying issues like abandonment, as her running suggests a deeper struggle. Foster parents should continue fostering open communication, perhaps involving H in family decisions to build trust. Resources like Child Welfare Information Gateway offer strategies for managing runaway behaviors, emphasizing consistency and empathy.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit crew dove into this family drama with gusto, serving up a mix of cheers and raised eyebrows. Here’s what they had to say:

These Redditors rallied behind the foster parents, praising their focus on H’s safety over religious dogma. Some saw H’s running as a cry for attention, while others applauded the headphone compromise. But do these online hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the flames of a complex issue?

Navigating foster care is like walking a tightrope in a storm—every step is a test of balance. The foster parents’ choice to bring H to church isn’t about faith but about keeping her safe while weaving her into their family’s rhythm. Their story shines a light on the challenges of fostering teens with troubled pasts. What would you do if you were in their shoes, balancing trust and safety for a runaway teen? Share your thoughts and experiences below.