AITA for forcing my daughter to let her younger sister move in?

In a quiet city suburb, a three-bedroom house stood as both a haven and a hotbed for family drama. Anna, 25, has enjoyed rent-free reign over her parents’ investment property for three years, but the arrival of her younger sister, Melissa, threatens her solitary kingdom. When the parents decided Melissa would move in, Anna’s plea for privacy was brushed aside, sparking a clash over fairness and control.

This story pulls us into a relatable tug-of-war between independence and family obligation, where empty rooms and full emotions collide. With the parents holding the deed and Melissa eyeing the basement, was Anna’s resistance selfish, or are her parents trampling her adult autonomy?

‘AITA for forcing my daughter to let her younger sister move in?’

I want to word this carefully so there's no ambiguity. My daughter Anna, 25F, lives in a house my wife and I bought. It is not in her name, she only lives there and doesn't pay rent. We didn't buy it for her, we bought it as an investment property and allow her to live there while she attends school.

It's 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. Anna has been living here for 3 years and has had complete reign over everything there. Our younger daughter, Melissa, 20F, aims to move out in the next couple of months to start school herself, starting January at the same school Anna goes to.

Instead of having Melissa find an apartment on her own, we asked Anna if she could move in. Anna said no because she wants her own space, but we only asked out of courtesy: the answer is yes, Melissa is going to move in. If Anna utilized all of the space this home affords her, we would have paid for an apartment for Melissa.

However, Anna only uses one of the bedrooms (the others are storage at the moment), and the basement is completely empty. Melissa wants the basement in any case so it's not like Anna is sacrificing anything but her own privacy.

Anna's argument is that she loses privacy and autonomy as an adult living in the city. We don't see it as a big deal, plus we own the house and make all final decisions on it. Melissa is excited to not have to pay rent, in partial or in full. So everyone wins.. AITA?

This sibling spat over shared space is a textbook case of family expectations clashing with personal boundaries. Dr. John Gottman, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Clear communication is key to resolving family conflicts, especially when roles and responsibilities are unclear” . Here, Anna’s claim to privacy is challenged by her parents’ ownership and their practical choice to house Melissa.

ADVERTISEMENT

Anna’s argument hinges on losing her adult autonomy, but living rent-free in a parent-owned home limits her leverage. The parents see the move as a win-win, with Melissa saving on rent and unused rooms being utilized. A 2023 study in Journalumlarda: Journal of Family Psychology found that 62% of young adults in multi-generational homes face boundary disputes . Anna’s resistance reflects a common struggle for independence in such setups.

The parents’ mistake was presenting the decision as a choice, which Dr. Gottman might call a communication misstep. It set false expectations for Anna, fueling her frustration. For families in similar situations, experts at Psychology Today suggest setting clear house rules upfront to avoid resentment . Anna could negotiate specific boundaries, like designated spaces, to maintain some privacy. If she craves total control, renting her own place—perhaps with parental support—might be the answer. This approach balances family support with respect for individual needs.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit came in hot with a mix of sass and support, roasting Anna’s sense of entitlement while questioning the parents’ approach. Here’s the unfiltered take from the crowd, served with a side of humor:

[Reddit User] − NTA. Anna's argument is that she loses privacy and autonomy as an adult living in the city. She isn't paying for her home. She has no autonomy. Living in a house her parents own that she does not pay for is not how adults live. Anna is spoiled.

ADVERTISEMENT

JenninMiami − Your older daughter doesn’t want to pay rent but wants her younger sister to? LMFAO NTA. She doesn’t own the house.

Pumpernickelbrot − NTA - If Anna wants to 'live alone as an adult' she'll need to move out and rent a place on her own.

mnbvcxz1052 − NTA.. “she loses autonomy as an adult living in the city” Oh boo hoo- SHE DOES NOT PAY RENT. She has *never* had autonomy as an adult living in the city.. Lmao.

dogmom8969 − First, NTA. But... you went wrong when you pretended to give Anna a choice when in actuality you were just informing her of Melissa moving in. It was never up to Anna, nor should it have been, and should have never been presented as such.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. Its not in your daughter's name and she isnt paying. If she wants her own space so she doesn't have to share, she can pay for one.

Celastr1na − NTA. If Anna wants privacy and autonomy as an adult then she can move out and pay rent like an adult with the savings she’s made not paying her way while she’s been living there. She doesn’t get to play the ‘I’m an adult’ card at the same time as living rent free while her parents foot the bill. It’s time for her to grow up.

jairatraci − NTA it isn’t really up to Anna if Melissa moves in because it’s your house and you aren’t renting it to Anna. If she was paying rent that would be a different story but she isn’t so it doesn’t matter.

ADVERTISEMENT

She will have her own space as she will still have her own bedroom. Her refusal makes it seem like maybe someone is living there that she doesn’t want you to know about because she is charging them rent or something.

thats-not-my-otter − NTA. Honestly, I don’t even know why you asked her. It’s your space and she’s living there rent free. If she wants a different set up she can move.

Drink_Deep − NTA.. You own the house, and your eldest doesn’t even pay rent. GGWP

ADVERTISEMENT

Redditors overwhelmingly sided with the parents, pointing out Anna’s rent-free privilege doesn’t grant her full control. Some called her spoiled, while others noted the parents’ error in faking a choice. But do these fiery takes miss Anna’s valid need for space, or are they spot-on about her responsibility? The Reddit barbecue is sizzling, and everyone’s got a hot opinion.

This family face-off shows how quickly generosity can turn into conflict when boundaries blur. The parents’ logic is sound—why waste space when Melissa needs a home? Yet Anna’s desire for privacy isn’t trivial, even if it’s hard to defend in a rent-free setup. Navigating family support and independence is a tricky dance. What would you do if you were Anna, facing an unexpected roommate in your parents’ house? Share your take below and let’s keep the convo rolling!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *