AITA for forcing my daughter to exercise?

One Saturday morning, a father returned home after a long trip to find his daughter had quit the boxing class he hoped she’d embrace. Determined to instill healthy habits, he insisted she commit to regular exercise, but things weren’t as straightforward as he expected. His 13-year-old daughter disliked team sports, found the gym dull, and hated feeling exhausted after workouts. This led to a heated family disagreement that’s got everyone talking.

What’s complicated is finding common ground between parent and child. The father wants to teach his daughter lifelong healthy living skills, but his approach is met with resistance. Can they find a solution that works for both? Let’s take a look at this heartwarming family story.

‘AITA for forcing my daughter to exercise?’

A dad notices his daughter isn’t moving enough, and he steps in.

Last year I noticed that my daughter (13) doesn’t do much physical exercise. In fact, her only real activity is for around 40 minutes a week in PE at her...

The girl isn’t thrilled about sports, but they settle on boxing classes.

I told her she needed to exercise and suggested joining a football or basketball club. She to.d me she hates team sports. Fine, so how about a gym? No said...

After her dad’s trip, the girl drops the class, citing discomfort.

Now in January I had to go back to my home country for 2 weeks as my father died. I got back on Friday and night and on Saturday morning...

and my wife tell me that my daughter stopped because the class made her out of breath and she was struggling to keep up and she didn’t like sweating, and...

The father doubles down, leading to a family standoff.

Now in my view that’s BS naturally as you keep going with the class your fitness will increase and you won’t be as out of breath. And before you ask,...

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I told her that at this point I was putting my foot down and that she had to commit to some kind of regular exercise (3 x 60mins a week...

She came back saying I never got on her older brother’s back about exercising but the truth is I never had to - he does football and rugby in the...

Finally I want to stress this isn’t at all about her weight or appearance and I’ve nit said anything about that to her - for me it’s about teaching her...

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My dad taught me, and when I look at others my age (50) so many of them are very out of shape to the extent that carrying some groceries in...

Forcing a child to exercise can backfire spectacularly. The father’s goal is to promote his daughter’s health, but his rigid approach has led to pushback. The core issue isn’t the push for exercise—it’s how he’s going about it. Forcing a teenager into something they dislike, especially during a phase when they’re carving out their identity, risks fostering resentment.

Child psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour notes, “When teens feel coerced, they often push back to assert their autonomy” (The New York Times, “How to Help Teens Find Purpose”). Here, the 13-year-old isn’t just rejecting boxing because it’s tough—she’s likely resisting the loss of control. The father assumes persistence will improve her stamina, but he overlooks her emotional and physical readiness for intense activities like boxing.

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From a broader perspective, encouraging kids to stay active is critical in an era of sedentary lifestyles. Yet, imposing a strict schedule (three 60-minute sessions weekly) without considering her preferences can do more harm than good. Experts suggest parents join their kids in activities, exploring options like yoga or dance to find what clicks.

The father could benefit from a heart-to-heart with his daughter. Instead of threatening to cut privileges, he might suggest shared activities, like evening walks or bike rides, to build habits without pressure. Showing that his goal is her well-being, not punishment, and starting small—say, 15 minutes daily—could pave the way for lasting change.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The online community didn’t hold back, offering a mix of critiques and suggestions.

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Many felt the father’s tactics could make his daughter dread exercise for life.

Lopsided-Shallot-124 − YTA for continuing the push in a way that obviously isn't working. You're going to make her loathe exercise if you keep this up. My son is not...

He loves doing it with me even though he's not very good at it because he's learning something new with me. I also play dance dance revolution, he now wants...

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You should have been looking for ways you could do things for bonding but instead you are making it a point of contempt. Are you yourself active with her in...

rpepperpot_reddit − The more you "force" your daughter to exercise, the more she is going to hate it, and resent you for making her do it.

You might do better to find an activity that you can do together such as hiking, bike riding, roller blading, etc. She's more likely to stick with it if she...

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MerlinBiggs − Soft YTA. You mean well, but bullying her into exercise can be counter productive. She'll resent you and just stop when she's 18.

A short jog a few days a week can be very beneficial. Doesn't have to be fast, just get the heart pumping for a while. I never liked sports myself,...

OrangeCubit − If your goal is to make exercise a chore and punishment than congrats, you are going to teach her to hate exercise.

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susannahsays − I appreciate you have good intentions, but I think this is just going to give her a massive complex about exercising. If you force her to do it...

[Reddit User] − YTA. My dad forced me to exercise almost exactly like this. I started gaining weight the second I got to university because I finally had control over...

Even today (I'm 27f) I have psychological issues with exercise because as soon as it gets hard I ask myself why I'm making myself do this? Why am I causing...

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I tell myself it's to be healthy but then I remember I have no health issues. I end up berating myself both for doing something I don't like because of...

I don't think my brain is capable of producing exercise induced endorphins anymore. I get no joy from team sports and if I do any gym classes and anyone tries...

type encouragement I both hate them and get a lump in my throat/have to hold back tears. I get your intentions, but it is possible your method to get to...

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You might end up teaching her to hate exercise and that her father thinks his opinions on how people should be are more important than her feelings or choices about...

but as her father it's your duty to raise a happy, healthy person and you feel like you are failing her? You can't in good conscience teach that zero exercise...

And if the plan is only 60 minutes a week at first, that's OK, because that is infinitely better than zero. Once she gets in the routine and starts enjoying...

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NeeliSilverleaf − YTA, your punitive attitude is going to put her off exercise.

Moon96Moon − YTA for forcing her but not because you want her to exercise, maybe you can begin taking her on walks? ? Around the block or to the park,...

emmakatieee − YTA. Doesn’t matter if it’s about weight or appearance, forcing your child to exercise in ways they do not like is still not good parenting. Also, taking away...

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I suggest you let her live her life the way she wishes to. She needs to make these kinds of decisions on her own terms. This type of parenting behavior...

Some understood the father’s intent but urged a gentler method.

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No-Recognition3929 − NTA if you are giving her options, I think it’s good parenting to teach healthy life skills. Don’t like team sports? Join a gym. Don’t like cardio?

Try yoga. As long as you are giving her the choice, I think your reasons are fair. You could try to start slow I guess with a once a week...

AbbyFB6969 − NTA, BUT Your methods are wrong. You can't throw someone into a physical routine for sixty minutes at a time, who is out of shape and can't do...

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She just needs help in a constructive way. She doesn't like cardio, clearly. Look into pilates, or yoga, or some kind of dancing, like bellydancing routines, designed to lose weight....

There are cardio, stretching, even Bollywood type dancing. You also need to start her off super slow, so she can build endurance. Try fifteen min a day, every day. She...

It also might help if you told her she can choose her workout style, with your approval, but if she doesn't she's stuck with what you pick. Give her a...

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I'd also do it with her, or have her mom do it with her. If she's uncomfortable with that, tell her she can have a few friends over to work...

bomber251 − NAH but I think you’re going about it the wrong way unfortunately. I have a teenage daughter too so I can empathize with the difficulties in trying to...

What I’ve found with both my kids is that you need to let them discover their passion. It will take trial and error and it needs to start much earlier...

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For my teenager this was swimming and she’s well on her way to becoming a lifeguard now. Also, you need to lead by example. Doesn’t have to be the same...

and exercising as well as taking care of your own well-being - is very important modelling. Don’t think for a second they’re not watching and learning from your behaviour, because...

Maybe its the wrong activity for her? Consider martial arts or something else if boxing is not her thing. My other daughter fell in love with martial arts through no...

[Reddit User] − I'm not sure you are going about this correctly, but I get what you are trying to do. I'd work with her to find something that doesn't...

There is yoga, tennis, swimming, and all sorts of other physical activities and some of them may interest her. But if you continue going about it the way you are,...

Slow_Pickle7296 − Nah. It’s astonishing how many people do not understand how important exercise is to the body and mind functioning well. Your daughter may not understand it either. If...

and giving her skills to manage her body in the future, she may be more open to it. You should also be honest with her and let her know that...

If you approach this in a shaming and punitive way, she will not do what you want her to, and she will not see for herself the benefit. Your current...

She may need more information on how exercise will help with the chaos of puberty, and then later with the stress of adult life. Why not yoga, and swimming? Edit:...

A few cheered the father’s focus on health.

sordonez96 − NTA - in fact id call it good parenting

This father’s story highlights a well-meaning effort to keep his daughter healthy, but his strict approach stirred up conflict. She pushed back, feeling pressured, while he stood firm, believing he’s teaching her vital life skills. The online community offered varied takes—some slammed his methods, others backed his intentions but suggested softer tactics. Clearly, getting teens to move requires understanding and flexibility to spark motivation, not resistance.

What do you think of the father’s approach? How would you encourage a teen to stay active without making it feel like a chore? Share your thoughts!

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One Comment

  1. 🚨YTA🚨 For starters your opinion isn’t padded with love so your daughter has a better understanding to why your pushing her to start her physical health journey. At her age kids weight will fluctuate did you forget about puberty?! And putting the idea in her head that she has issues is a big pot of FUTURE ESTRANGEMENT starting to boil. You could’ve asked to go on walks with you after dinner and
    open up a conversation with her. But you decided to be that rude a** dad who wants to tear down her early life self esteem to make her look like what you see acceptable for a teenage girl. Here’s my question Hiw much do you weigh? How is your physical health? How do you look in a t-shirt and jeans or even a swimsuit? I bet if you went to a professional they would rip you a new one much worse than how your putting down your daughter . Op your not being the parent that she deserves your being the parent that deserves a future ESTRANGED Relationship. So do MF’n BETTER and find more healthy ways to communicate with her about her fitness goals.🚨YTA🚨💯😑