AITA for forbidding my wife to go to her affair partner’s funeral?
In the quiet of a long-healed marriage, a phone call from a mother-in-law stirred up old wounds like dust in a forgotten attic. A couple, married 15 years, faced a ghost from their past when the wife’s former affair partner passed away in a workplace accident. The husband, once shattered by her betrayal during his deployment, felt his heart lurch at her wish to attend the funeral.
This Reddit saga peels back the layers of trust rebuilt through years of effort, only to be tested by a single request. Bound by lingering pain and protective instincts, the husband drew a hard line, sparking a silent standoff. Let’s dive into this raw tale of loyalty, boundaries, and resurfaced scars to uncover what it means to heal.
‘AITA for forbidding my wife to go to her affair partner’s funeral?’
This funeral feud lays bare the fragile threads of trust in a marriage scarred by infidelity. The husband’s visceral reaction—nausea, flashbacks—reflects unhealed trauma, while the wife’s wish to “pay respects” suggests a need for closure. Both perspectives clash, rooted in valid emotions, but the husband’s boundary feels like a shield against past pain.
Dr. Shirley Glass, a renowned infidelity expert, wrote in Not ‘Just Friends’, “Rebuilding trust requires protecting the relationship from any threat, real or perceived.” The husband sees the funeral as a threat, reopening wounds from a betrayal 13 years ago. The wife’s intent may be innocent, but her disregard for his distress risks their hard-earned progress.
Infidelity’s long shadow is common: a 2020 study found 60% of couples face trust issues years after an affair. The wife’s push to attend could stem from guilt or societal norms around mourning, but it dismisses her husband’s pain. Couples therapy, as they’ve planned, is a smart move to navigate this. For now, she should prioritize his feelings, perhaps sending condolences privately.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Reddit didn’t mince words—picture a virtual bar erupting with hot takes! Most backed the husband, citing his pain, while some saw the wife’s side, urging closure.
![[Reddit User] − Normally, I’d be against partners not allowing their partner to do something like this. But not this time. You’re NTA for expecting and demanding she make things up to you by starting to show some respect for your marriage and the pain she has caused you.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/274825c-03.png)
![[Reddit User] − NAH. Well, at least after she stopped cheating. You have a right to your feelings but so does your wife. She made a mistake but showed you ever since how she regretted it.. Might it be she just wants closure here? He - once - was a friend and a bit more.. Don’t let him pose a threat now, after all this time. Let her go to the funeral.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/274825c-06.png)
But do these Reddit rants capture the full picture, or are they just fuel for the drama fire?
This marital clash unearths the ghosts of infidelity, where a funeral becomes a battleground for trust and respect. The husband’s firm “no” protects his heart, but is it too controlling? The wife’s wish for closure feels human, yet it stings. What would you do if old wounds clashed with new choices? Share your thoughts—have you faced a moment where past betrayals tested your present?
