AITA for following through on the prenup now that the tables have turned?

In a love story tangled with old farmhouses and new fortunes, a woman’s life-changing accident has flipped the script on her upcoming wedding. Once bedridden with broken bones, she agreed to her fiancé’s prenup to protect his family’s century-old farmhouse, happy to build a life together. Now, a massive settlement—potentially millions—has her fiancé singing a different tune, ditching the prenup idea while she holds firm to protect her kids’ future. Reddit’s buzzing with this twist of fate.

His accusations of her being “money hungry” sting as she plans a homestead of her own, sparking a showdown over trust and fairness. Is she right to stick to the prenup’s spirit, ensuring her children’s security, or is she pulling the rug out from under their partnership? Let’s unpack this financial flip-flop that’s rocking their road to the altar.

‘AITA for following through on the prenup now that the tables have turned?’

This is a long story and I am trying to obscure my identity by slightly changing some details but overall this is accurate to what I'm going through. I(30f)have a child from another relationship and while getting out of the toxic relationship with his father I ended up with my current partner(32M). Now when we first got together there was a major accident that left me bed ridden for a few weeks.

Think multiple broken bones and surgeries. He told me at this time that he anticipated marrying me one day and would like to move me/my child in. The caveat was that this farmhouse was his inheritance and he wanted to protect it. I only had a vehicle at this time and understood the hesitation to risk something that had been in his family for generations.

I agreed. If we got married and it didn't work out that I would walk away with what I came into the marriage with. A few months pass by and he says to me directly during a conversation about the level of repair this nearly century old house needed that if he passed without having biological children with me that the house would pass to his brother and his wife.

I agree again, I would have no house if this happened to me but understand how much this particular home seems to hold for his family. Come to find out that accident I had at the beginning of the relationship was found not to be my fault at all and those at liability want to settle immediately, in the six figures.

My lawyers have said they are fairly confident we will win with the video evidence we have and they are going to be going for the full insurance coverage amount of a few million. Meaning after medical bills and lawyers fees and taxes I will be a financially set for life if I buy a homestead and invest the rest.

My partner has suddenly changed his tune and no longer wants us to have a prenuptial at all for our upcoming wedding. On the other hand, I have doubled down and told him I will not be marrying him without one. One that states the home that I will buy with my settlement will be sold when the youngest child has turned 18 and left the home if I die but we can live together in for as long as I am alive.

He can have his family's farmhouse completely separately. He has lost the plot. Accused me of being money hungry and it changed me. I told him this is to protect my children, I have seen how money after one's passing in the family corrupts even the most

This prenup saga is a masterclass in how money can unmask motives in a relationship. The woman’s insistence on a prenup mirrors her fiancé’s earlier stance—protecting what’s hers for her kids—yet his sudden reversal suggests a double standard. His “money hungry” jab flips the script unfairly, ignoring her consistent respect for his family’s legacy.

Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship therapist, notes in 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, “Financial transparency builds trust, but unequal rules breed resentment.” The fiancé’s willingness to secure his farmhouse while expecting her settlement to be shared breaks this balance. Her plan—securing a home for her kids, sellable when they’re grown—shows foresight, not greed, especially after escaping a toxic past.

Prenups are increasingly common. A 2023 American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers survey found 45% of couples with significant assets opt for them, often to protect children from prior relationships, as she does. His reaction hints at control, not partnership, especially since her wealth stems from personal trauma, not joint effort.

For a fix, Orbuch suggests a neutral mediator to draft the prenup, ensuring both protect their assets—his farmhouse, her settlement—while planning joint goals. A trust for her funds, as Redditors advised, could lock in her kids’ future. Couples’ counseling might realign their values before vows.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s comment crew is dishing out a storm of support and red-flag warnings for this prenup plot twist. Here’s a taste of their spicy takes—grab a seat! These Reddit hot takes are sizzling, but do they pave a path to trust or trouble? Let’s dig in!

K_A_irony − NTA but it appears your fiancé is showing you who he is. Where else has he exhibited the concept that the rules apply to you but not to him? Where else has he shown that he is willing to take from you but not give to you? Seriously think and make a list.

Consider if this is the man you want to marry. If so, I suggest pre-martial counseling. Separately talk to a lawyer about putting this money into a trust with all the rules and guidelines you want. This should protect it no matter what you do in the future and who you marry. Make sure the trust is set up with that in mind.

No_Concern1865 − Not the a**hole. It will always baffle me how money hungry people are so quick to call other people money hungry.I wouldn't marry him if I were you,you probably feel like he is a great guy because he is a little better than your abusive ex but he is not. You deserve love and partnership that wants what's best for you and he is not it.

lazerspewx2 − NTA. Watch out for him conning you into fixing up the farmhouse to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars even if he agrees to the new terms.

T9Para − Your Fiancé

Sunshine-N-gumdrops − This is your sign to end this relationship. He had no problem making sure you walk away with nothing but he is entitled to your money?

forgetregret1day − Wow. I’d suggest rethinking this marriage to be honest. For one thing, you were fresh from an abusive relationship so any kindness and love probably felt like a prayer had been answered. You gave him everything he asked for to protect his assets and that was fine as long as he came out on top.

Now that a bunch of money that rightfully belongs to you comes into view, his perspective does a 180. Now his stuff is his and your stuff is his and that’s a big old red flag. There’s no equality here, just what he wants, and he wants it all. Please protect yourself and your children. He’s certainly not interested in providing for your futures so it’s up to you. NTA.

PonyGrl29 − NTA but boy that mask slipped fast didn’t it?. Insist on an iron-clad prenup and no joint accounts. 

lsp2005 − Do not marry him. He has shown you who he is. Believe him. Also, ensure all your money is always and only in a separate account. 

cachalker − I would not marry this man. He was perfectly willing to boot you out of his home if he died without issue…because he thought he had the best hand. But you got dealt the winning card on the river and he no longer had the best hand. This is about control. And before this, he had all the control. Frankly, if anyone is being “money hungry”, he is.

Late_Cupcake750 − NTA. Run, don’t walk, run!

This prenup drama shows how fast money can turn “I do” into “I don’t agree.” The woman’s stand to shield her settlement for her kids echoes her fiancé’s earlier protectiveness, but his flip-flop reveals a shaky foundation. Is she right to hold the line, or should she soften for love’s sake? What would you do if your partner’s mask slipped over money? Drop your thoughts, stories, or advice in the comments—let’s settle this battle before the wedding bells ring!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *