AITA for filing for 15 years of back child support to help my daughter pay for college?

Providing for a child’s education can be one of the most important responsibilities for a parent, but it can become complicated when one parent has avoided financial obligations for years. A social media user shared her story of raising two daughters largely on her own after splitting from her ex due to a history of domestic issues. For 15 years, he provided little to no financial support, despite occasional gifts, leaving her to navigate the challenges of saving and planning for their futures.

Now, with her youngest daughter about to start college and tuition deadlines looming, the user is facing a critical decision. She wants to ensure her daughter has the opportunity to pursue her dream of becoming a trauma surgeon, even if it means filing for years of back child support to cover educational expenses.

'AITA for filing for 15 years of back child support to help my daughter pay for college?'

Raising two daughters on my own has been a long journey.

I (40F) have two daughters with my ex (49M) who lives on a reservation. We split up years ago due to a history of domestic issues. During that time, I...

He hasn’t provided consistent financial support for 15 years.

For the past 15 years, he hasn’t provided any financial support, though he would occasionally bring gifts. Our youngest daughter is now 16 and headed to college in two weeks....

Attempts to secure a student loan hit roadblocks.

I tried to co-sign a student loan for her, but I was denied due to past financial issues. I asked her dad to co-sign, explaining that the loan wouldn’t be...

and that if funding comes through, it would be reimbursed immediately. He agreed initially but hasn’t followed through.

The tuition debt is urgent.

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Currently, we need to pay around $17,000 to keep her enrolled past December. To ensure she can continue her education, I’m considering filing for 15 years of back child support....

My daughter’s dedication motivates every decision.

Our daughter is very driven — she graduated high school two years early with a 4.2 GPA and wants to become a trauma surgeon. I want to do everything I...

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Financial support from both parents is critical to a child’s success, particularly when preparing for higher education. Family law attorney Karen Sandoval explains, “While retroactive child support can be limited in some jurisdictions, pursuing unpaid support is a legal option if no prior order existed. Courts prioritize a child’s best interest, especially regarding education.”

Experts highlight that navigating child support across reservation or tribal lands can involve additional challenges, since tribal jurisdiction and finances may vary. Some advocates recommend consulting both tribal authorities and family courts to explore all legal avenues for collecting support.

Additionally, educational funding experts emphasize seeking scholarships, grants, or financial aid based on heritage or academic achievement. Scholarships targeted toward underrepresented groups or students excelling academically can supplement unpaid parental support, ensuring that tuition and living expenses are covered. Ultimately, the poster’s situation reflects the broader societal challenge of balancing parental responsibility, legal frameworks, and the pursuit of higher education for motivated students.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Many users supported the poster, emphasizing the father’s responsibility and the urgency of her daughter’s education:

GusMandersaZ − that threat about taking them to the reservation is pretty h__low now that shes 16. He got a free ride for 15 years, time for him to actually...

Soft-Accountant9411 − NTA I wish the best for you and your daughters and college will give her a really good chance at that if she's in it to win it,...

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Like you said do everything you can to get your girl in college and regardless if the Navajo pays for her college that money can get her essentials like a...

he deserves that money, both of your daughters do. Dad doesn't get to try to k__l you and get out of everything Scott free he has responsibilities too

Life_Scratch_2807 − Nta he can’t pull that alienation bs now that she is a teen. The courts will set him straight.

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2dogslife − NTA, but while the chances are that you will win your case, how long will it take to actually collect? I don't know if the tribe would cover...

the wealthiest tribes being those that established gaming on their reservations while others live below the poverty rate overall. I still think you should file, eventually you'll get funds, but...

JustWowinCA − I'd talk to the Chief of the tribe. Seriously. The Chief is the moral backbone of the tribe and therefore can advocate for you. He should have an...

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Some users offered practical or balanced advice, highlighting legal and financial considerations:

CSEworker − Just my two cents, if you've never had a court order for child support and you are looking to establish one now with 15 years back support, it's...

Courts generally will only back date to the date of filing. If you already have an order established, and can show proof of no payment for that time, the courts...

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Mrs_Jones_85 − If you did not have a court order for child support at the divorce, I am not sure you can file for back child support. But, if you...

Opening_Ad5479 − You can file for all the back child support you want. ...if he doesn't have it you're not going to see a dime. The old "You can't squeeze...

SuccessfulAd4606 − Why not tell him either he signs the loan paperwork or you file for back child support? It's up to him. His idle threats are meaningless now.

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Obiwan_ca_blowme − but because of a repossession that occurred during my divorce I was denied. This makes no sense to me. How does a repo stay on your credit for...

Some users offered light-hearted or hopeful advice:

LatterEbb9760 − Do they allow back pay like that? NTA my ex owes me 82,000 in child support. Best wishes!

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Least_Dentist441 − She’s probably eligible for a Pell grant too. Good luck to her. I’m still paying my student loans 30 years later

EarthRepulsive937 − Nta have you tried applying for scholarships based on your daughter's demographic? I worked in fin aid for years and there are so many scholarships that don't get...

You guys should look into it and ask a counselor. Your children are 50% Navajo- that counts for receiving aid and help right? I received aid for being an immigrant...

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actionvac-Box2165 − I’m sure he has no money

ste1071d − Child support is not ordered retroactively like this. It’s only ordered back to the date of filing.

Navigating a child’s education when one parent has avoided financial responsibility is challenging. The poster’s decision to consider back child support highlights the importance of ensuring her daughter’s academic future isn’t limited by past neglect. This story invites reflection on parental accountability, legal options, and creative solutions such as scholarships or financial aid.

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How would you handle a similar situation if a co-parent refused to contribute? What strategies can parents use to safeguard their children’s opportunities while maintaining fairness? Sharing experiences and advice can help others advocate effectively for their children’s education and long-term success.

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