AITA For filing an HR grievance at work because I was denied a schedule bid in favor of a coworker with less seniority, just because he has a kid?

Picture a bustling office where the coveted Monday-to-Friday 9-5 schedule is up for grabs, and Sarah, a 27-year-old employee with six years at the company, is ready to claim her prize. After grinding through late shifts, she’s earned it—or so she thought. Instead, the schedule goes to a coworker with just two years on the job, all because he’s a single dad with a 15-year-old son.

The decision stings like a paper cut. Sarah’s coworkers whisper she should let it slide, citing the dad’s responsibilities, but she’s not buying it. Her time is just as valuable, kids or not. Filing an HR grievance for discrimination, Sarah stands her ground, but the office buzz paints her as cold. Caught between fairness and empathy, her choice sparks a fiery debate about workplace priorities.

‘AITA For filing an HR grievance at work because I was denied a schedule bid in favor of a coworker with less seniority, just because he has a kid?’

I lost a schedule bid at work recently to an employee with far less seniority. The reason given to me was 'he is a single father, and that schedule works better with his sons school schedule'. Not to be insensitive, but so the f**k what? My time is not less valuable because I have no kids. I get the logic, but I could give a s**t about his schedule and problems.

I have done my time and I earned that bid plain and simple. I have filed a grievance with HR (the crux of it is that I was discriminated against for not having kids), in an attempt to get the schedule I bid on. A few coworkers have mentioned off the cuff to me that I should let it go because he's a single father (full time, mom is out of the picture)

And that I 'don't get it because I don't have any kids.'. Quick details:. * The son in question is 15. * I have been with the company 6 years, he has been here 2 years. * The schedule in question is M-F 9-5, right now we are both working 3pm-11pm Thurs-Tuesday, so obviously it's more desirable.. So, AITA?

Sarah’s grievance lights a match under a thorny workplace issue: balancing fairness with compassion. After six years of late shifts, her expectation of seniority-based rewards is reasonable, yet the company’s choice to prioritize a single father’s needs reflects a human touch. Workplace policies often clash with personal realities, leaving employees like Sarah feeling sidelined.

The broader issue is workplace equity. A 2023 SHRM report notes that 60% of U.S. workers feel unrecognized for their tenure, with flexible scheduling often favoring parents (SHRM.org). Sarah’s frustration stems from this perceived bias, as her childless status seems to devalue her time. Yet, the single dad’s need to align work with his teen’s school hours highlights a competing priority.

HR expert Alison Green advises, “Fair doesn’t always mean equal—sometimes it means equitable, considering individual circumstances” (AskAManager.org). Green’s perspective suggests the company weighed the dad’s parental duties, but Sarah’s grievance is valid if seniority policies were ignored. Transparency about the bid process could clarify whether this was discrimination or a judgment call.

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Sarah could request a clear explanation of the decision, citing company policy, and propose a compromise, like alternating schedules. This maintains professionalism while addressing her concerns. Open dialogue with HR could foster fairness without burning bridges, balancing her rights with the dad’s needs.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s take on Sarah’s dilemma crackles with intensity. Most back her, arguing that seniority should trump personal circumstances, especially since the coworker’s son is 15 and likely independent. They see her grievance as a stand against unfair bias toward parents.

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Others urge empathy, noting the single dad’s schedule benefits his teen’s well-being, a critical factor at a vulnerable age. The split reflects a tension between rigid rules and human needs, with many suggesting Sarah’s grievance is fair but risks workplace goodwill.

mikey19xx − NTA that is discrimination if their only reason he got it is because he has a kid and you don’t. Also his kid is 15 I’m sure the kid is fine being home alone like any other teen would be.

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Arch_girl − NAH. You both made the same request and he ended up getting it. You can file a complain with HR for whatever reason you want. I don't agree with your complain and work seniority doesn't mean that you automatically get what you want over newer employees.

He has a greater need than you for the schedule and the company decided to give it to him, there is no discrimination to call for. This is only going to hurt you in the future because you are completely disregarding someone else's needs, don't count on people being sympathetic to yours when the time comes.

fredinNH − NAH. For any anti-union people reading this- this is one of the benefits of being in a union. There would be no question here. Op would get the day shift.

Coziestpigeon2 − NAH. The schedule in question is M-F 9-5, right now we are both working 3pm-11pm Thurs-Tuesday, so obviously it's more desirable. This...this is rough. You're absolutely not an a**hole for feeling discriminated against, and you're not an a**hole for doing something about it.

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But I have a hard time putting anyone else at fault when it's a shift like that. If dad keeps on the 3-11 shift, son's life suffers for it. Son never sees dad, son becomes unable to participate in extra-curriculars, son forced to cook and eat alone (the loneliness is the issue, not the independence).

I see elsewhere you've mentioned that this 9-5 shift also makes it easier to do things like see your aging parents, but I'd argue that you have from 9-3 to see them during the week (assuming they are retired at age 70+), while the father cannot see his child at that time because the child is in school.

15-years-old is a pretty vulnerable age for a lot of kids, and it's pretty important for healthy growth and development to have access to a caring parent for advice and parenting at that stage. A young lonely male of that age is like, *the* prime target for Neo-Nazi recruitment groups.

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Again, you're not the a**hole here in any way. But it's easy to understand how this schedule would benefit your coworkers son more than it would benefit you or the coworker, in a pretty large way. It's not fair that you're being disadvantaged here, but it's not like you can expect the dad to turn down a shift that would improve the life of his son so dramatically. NAH.

actuaIhumanbean − YTA you're not being discriminated against because you don't have children, your employer has looked at the available information and made a decision based on the needs of their employees and made a decision based on efficiencies.

more over, if this is a bidding process then it's not related to seniority and therefore that does not and should not come into play. had you won the bid (that's not weighted on seniority) and he didn't, would you have considered it fair for him to suggest he was being discriminated against because he was more junior? i would suspect not.

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PRMinx − It’s really hard to make a judgement here without knowing the full bid process. That said, you don’t have the same obligations he has and you also don’t know what was said / promised when he was negotiating for the job.

I will caution you that there will be a day when you will need support and understanding at the office for personal reasons (medical, injury, bereavement). Burning goodwill in this regard will hinder you down the road.

Corgitwiggle − YTA. People with outside requirements, kids or otherwise, should be worked with so that they can stay with the company. If the only reason you want the other schedule is for convenience then they should get it.

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Berics_Privateer − INFO Does the company have an official policy that awards schedules based on seniority? Because if not, I'm not sure you'd have much of a case.

waterbuffalo750 − NAH. You both bid for the new position and he got it. Maybe they're worried about him going elsewhere. Maybe he's the better employee. Maybe they just put a human element to it rather than mindlessly following a formula.

Let say you and him request a day off at the same time. You want to visit a dying family member and he wants it off because the new Madden comes out that day, but he submitted his request 10 minutes before you did. Would you expect him to get the day off over you because those are the rules? Or would you prefer some empathy?

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gw327 − NTA, if it has taken 6 years to get to a place where you are just now available to go to day shift, it’s completely understandable to be upset. When he was hired he might have been promised a move in a shorter time frame than you, which would not be discrimination, but HR should at the very least explain it was in his contract when he signed on.

Sarah’s story is a tug-of-war between hard-earned seniority and a coworker’s family needs. Her grievance pushes for fairness, but the single dad’s reality adds a layer of complexity. How would you navigate this workplace clash? Share your thoughts and experiences below—where do you draw the line between rules and compassion?

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