AITA For Filing A Police Report On My Mother?

Imagine picking up the phone to a collection agency demanding $1800 for a cable bill you never signed up for, only to discover your own mother used your identity years ago. This is the harsh reality one young adult faced, their credit tarnished by a betrayal from the person meant to protect them. At just 15, their Social Insurance Number was misused, leaving them in a financial mess years later.

Now, confronted with their mother’s tearful excuses and pleas, they stand at a crossroads: file a police report to clear their name or let the debt linger, risking their financial future. The Reddit post lays bare the sting of manipulation and the weight of a decision no one should have to make, especially when family is involved.

‘AITA for filing a police report on my mother?’

Quick backstory, when I was (15?) my mom took my SIN and hooked up cable under my name and racked up the bill and left it to later reflect on my credit bureau. Fast forward this year I’m getting calls from a collection agency saying that I owe $1800 for cable/internet from 2014,

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I say I have no clue what they are talking about and ask the address/phone number and voila it is my mothers address and phone number. I call her, she lies for a couple weeks about it but eventually says she did do it but “I always wanted to give you and your sister what you wanted and couldn’t afford to maintain the bills I’m sorry” blah blah

Insert gaslighting and her being manipulative and making me feel like s**t about it. The collections agency is now saying I have to make a police report stating fraud in order to get this off my credit bureau

My mom is texting me paragraphs saying how she’s going to go to jail and that my young sister won’t have anyone to take care of her blah blah. Am I an a**hole for making the police report? My credit is really important to me and she’s making me feel like ass for even considering doing that.

This heartbreaking scenario reveals the devastating impact of familial identity theft, where trust and finances collide. The mother’s actions, using her child’s SIN for a cable bill, constitute a serious breach, leaving her child to face collectors years later. Financial expert Suze Orman stresses, “Your credit score is your financial fingerprint; protect it fiercely” . Here, the mother’s betrayal jeopardizes that protection, forcing a tough choice.

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The mother’s manipulative response—gaslighting and guilt-tripping—complicates the decision to file a police report. This tactic often stems from shame or fear of consequences, but it unfairly shifts blame onto the victim. Identity theft by a parent is not uncommon; a 2018 FTC report noted over 30,000 cases of familial identity theft annually . The mother’s claim that jail time would harm her younger child adds emotional pressure, yet it doesn’t erase the financial harm done.

Legally, the individual has a strong case, as minors cannot enter contracts, rendering the debt voidable. However, clearing it requires a fraud report, which may lead to fines or, less likely, jail time for the mother, especially if the amount exceeds $999. The emotional cost—potential family estrangement—clashes with the practical need to restore credit for future loans or housing.

To resolve this, the individual should place fraud alerts on their credit reports via Experian, TransUnion, and Equifax, and dispute the debt as fraudulent, citing their minor status at the time. Consulting a lawyer, as suggested on Reddit, can clarify options without relying on collectors’ advice. Rebuilding credit with a secured card and maintaining boundaries with the mother can secure their financial future while navigating family ties.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Redditors overwhelmingly supported the individual, condemning the mother’s identity theft as a selfish act that jeopardizes their financial stability. Many emphasized that protecting one’s credit is critical, urging the individual to file the police report and dispute the debt, as it could affect loans, housing, or jobs.

Suggestions included checking credit reports for other fraudulent accounts and using fraud alerts to prevent further misuse. While some acknowledged the mother’s potential consequences, like fines, the consensus was clear: the individual’s right to a clean financial slate outweighs her manipulative pleas.

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squidnie650 − NTA however everyone who is saying they won’t take her to jail for identity theft, are crazy. Over 999$ is a felony, and if she has any priors they can and will put her in jail. Keep that in mind because the people saying she won’t go to jail are probably wrong.

Mission_Spray − Edit: Whoa! My first awards!! I have no idea how this works but I’m super grateful and will pay it forward. Thanks!. NTA. But can I suggest something else? As a former loan officer and working in banking for 15 years I will tell you crappy parents do this to their children all the time and will continue to do so as long as they can get away with it.

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I echo the sentiments of other posters that said to not trust debt collection agencies because they bought that debt and want their money back.. What OP needs to do (assuming OP is based in the USA) is: 1. Add a Fraud Alert to the credit report at all three credit bureaus: Experian, Transunion, and Equifax.

It means no new credit can be opened under her name and SSN without the lender contacting her at a phone number she provides the credit bureaus. So if mom gets shady again, she will be stopped. Assuming mom doesn’t have OP’s phone.

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2. Go to www.annualcreditreport.com to get her free credit reports that she is legally entitled to (FYI everyone with a SSN is allowed to get their credit report from each credit bureau once a year)

3. Review the credit reports and find anything that’s not hers (this includes other debts and possibly information like phone and address) and dispute them through the credit bureaus. Disputes will prove she was a minor when these occurred and should be removed.

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4. Rebuild credit by opening a secured credit card. What that is, is a credit card backed by a savings account OP opened. So for example her credit union will give her a credit card with a $500 limit. Then OP has to open a savings account and deposit $500 that cannot be touched.

After a two years (sometimes less) OP can then close out that savings and take the cash back and be left with just the credit card. In the event OP is bad at paying back the card, the credit union will use the money in the savings to pay off the card balance, and then close it.

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asami47 − I don't fully understand the legal implications but I do know you should never accept legal advise from a debt collector. FULL STOP. It's like the police, they don't have your best interest at heart.

This may not be the only option. For example contacts signed by minors are voidable. Talk to a lawyer not the debt collector. Obviously your mom did a s**tty thing, but having her arrested on the advise of a stranger with opposing interests is not a good idea. ESH.

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Moggetti − NTA. She wasn’t stealing from you to make sure you had food. She was stealing to get cable.

Gregorfunkenb − NTA. Lawyer here, but not your lawyer.. Is SIN a typo for SSN? If it is, and if you are in the US...consider the following possibilities, but your own attorney because I’m speaking generally.. Minors cannot make contracts. If you were 15 when your mom did this, company may be. out of luck.

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Shouldn’t matter that they didn’t know they were contracting with a minor.. They may be past the statute of limitations, in which case they are also screwed.. Different scenario.. When did you turn 18?

Assuming a statute of limitations of three years after you turned 18,. they may be screwed.. Lots of times companies will attempt to collect even if they know that can’t do it legally.. Suggest you cross post in r/legaladvice to get other opinions.

paranoidandroidr − NTA. She f**ked up your credit, which will f**k up your life. She did it for you? That's a load. File the report. If she had your better interests in mind, she wouldn't have taken advantage of your SIN. She is bigtime TA.

3point14_y0 − NTA But I don’t think $1800 in identity theft will result in jail time. It’s a white collar crime <10k and she’s got a child at home. She’ll probably just have a fine or something.

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camerond2572 − NTA what she did was identity theft, she should actually face the consequences for what she did. File the police report ASAP its going to take time to rebuild your credit so you need to get the ball rolling.

curmudgeonchief − NTA but before you do anything you need to contact equifax or TransUnion to get a copy of your credit report. They will send you this in the mail for free. Then once you get it you need to recontact them and ask them what you need to do to remove the entries that are there as a result of fraudulent activity. Do not take advice from some dude at a collection agency.

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RedditDK2 − NTA - The first thing to do is pull your credit report. If she used your information to get cable, it is very possible that she used it for other things as well. You need to know how big of a problem you have before you decide how to handle it. Next think about your relationship with your mom. After this do you want a relationship with her? What about the rest of your family.

Think about what you need in the short term financially. By short term I am thinking 3 to 5 years. Do you need to get a car loan any time soon? What about a house loan? What kind of job are you looking to get (some will pull your credit report). Are you wanting to rent an apartment alone? As long as this is on your credit report as unpaid and even if you pay it off this will affect you.

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You will not be able to get loans and if you do the interest you will have to pay will be considerably more than other people have to pay. Landlords might not be willing to rent to you. You might have to pay more for car insurance. It can, depending on the type of job, prevent you from getting a job. Are you willing to be okay with that?

On the other hand if you file a police report, those problems go away. Assuming this is your mom's first offense, it is unlikely she will go to jail but it is possible. She will definitely be in trouble which can include fines or community service. The odds are she will blame you for this and might very well be able to convince the rest of your family that you are the bad guy here.

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After all she is 'family' (didn't stop her from doing this in the first place though, but logic rarely has a place in these things). Are you willing to lose your relationship with her? No matter what you decide, you are not wrong. It's a horrible position to be in. I'm sorry you are facing that.

This story underscores the painful reality of familial betrayal and the fight to reclaim one’s financial identity. The individual faces a tough choice, balancing their future against family ties strained by deceit. Have you or someone you know dealt with a similar betrayal? How would you handle the conflict between protecting your future and family loyalty?

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