AITA for feeling betrayed after my wife hid that she could never have kids until years into our marriage?

Imagine building a decade-long love story, dreaming of a family, only to learn your spouse hid a truth that changes everything. For a 34-year-old man, his wife’s revelation—years into their marriage—that she’s medically unable to have children, a fact she knew before they met, feels like a gut punch. She kept silent to keep him, but now he’s wrestling with betrayal and a future he didn’t choose. Is his pain justified, or should love outweigh the lie?

This Reddit tale, tinged with doubts of AI crafting, spins a raw saga of trust and dreams deferred. With the wife’s omission clashing against his lifelong wish for kids, their bond hangs in the balance. Reddit’s buzzing with takes, from cries of deceit to skepticism about the post’s origins. Let’s unravel this emotional knot with heart and a dash of wit.

‘AITA for feeling betrayed after my wife hid that she could never have kids until years into our marriage?’

I (34M) met my wife (33F) about ten years ago. From the very beginning, I knew she was special. We clicked instantly—same sense of humor, same life goals (or so I thought), and just an overwhelming feeling of “this is the person I want to build a life with.”

As we dated, I made it very clear that I’ve always wanted a family. I wasn’t pushy about it, but I talked about how I looked forward to being a dad one day, how I wanted to raise kids and create a loving home together. She never gave any indication that she didn’t want that too.

She would smile, nod, and sometimes even talk about what kind of parent she thought she’d be. Fast forward a few years, we get married. It was the happiest day of my life. I loved this woman with my whole heart, and I truly believed we were on the same page about everything that mattered.

Then, a few years into our marriage, we start talking more seriously about trying for kids. That’s when she finally drops the bombshell—she has known *since before we even met* that she has a medical condition that makes it impossible for her to conceive.

Not unlikely. Not difficult. Impossible. I was stunned. It wasn’t even just that she couldn’t have kids—it was that she knew all along and never told me. Not when we were dating. Not when I expressed over and over how much I wanted children. Not before we got married.

When I asked her why she never told me, she just said she “didn’t want to lose me” and hoped that by the time we got to this point, I would love her enough that it wouldn’t matter. She also admitted that she was scared I would leave if I knew. And now? I don’t even know how to feel. I love her—I loved her.

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But I can’t shake this overwhelming feeling of betrayal. This wasn’t some small omission. She took away my ability to make an informed decision about my future. She knew this was a dealbreaker for me and just… lied by omission.. I feel trapped. I feel cheated. And worst of all, I don’t know what to do next.. Reddit, what would you do?

Hiding a dealbreaker like infertility for a decade is a profound breach of trust, especially when the husband was vocal about wanting children. His wife’s fear of losing him doesn’t justify denying him an informed choice. Marriage counselor Dr. John Gottman notes, “Honesty, even when painful, is the foundation of intimacy; omissions can erode trust as much as lies”. The husband’s sense of betrayal is valid, as his vision of fatherhood was built on a false premise.

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This reflects broader issues in marital transparency. A 2022 study in Journal of Marriage and Family found 41% of couples face trust issues when major life goals, like family planning, are misrepresented. The wife’s hope that love would override his desire for kids underestimated the weight of his dream.

Dr. Gottman’s advice emphasizes rebuilding through dialogue. The husband could express his hurt in therapy, exploring whether adoption or a child-free life could align with their bond. The wife must own her deception to begin healing.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s dishing out a storm of reactions, from fury at the wife’s deceit to suspicions the post is AI-crafted. Here’s the unfiltered scoop, fresh from the marital drama cauldron:

onebadimpala68 - She only cared about protecting herself and you should now do the same.

Agoraphobe961 - NTA. Even if you had loved her enough it wouldn’t matter, she has completely misrepresented the person you fell in love with. Not just about the kids but that she could carry on a multi-year lie without batting an eyelash. What else is she lying about?

wtfboooom - I (34M) met my wife (33F) about ten years ago.. 10 years ago. Fast forward a few years, we get married. 7 years ago Then, a few years into our marriage, we start talking more seriously about trying for kids.

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That’s when she finally drops the bombshell—she has known since before we even met that she has a medical condition that makes it impossible for her to conceive.. 4 years ago. I feel trapped. I feel cheated. And worst of all, I don’t know what to do next..

Do you all seriously think OP has been letting this tear them up inside for four years?. tl;dr IT'S A FAKE CHATGPT POST. Edit: For those saying to themselves, 'Who cares if it's AI? It was an interesting story. What's the harm in that?'

All I'm going to say is that we are heading into a dark time, where we will shortly be completely unable to tell who, or what we are talking to. Sure, it might not be a big deal to you, being smart and savvy. Maybe you like talking to chatbots like ChatGPT.

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They can be fun, give decent advice and tips for some daily tasks around the house or with school, but how do you feel about the vulnerable people in your life who may be open to the more subtle, incremental, insidious,

yet ultimately inevitable manipulation of AI chatbots masking as humans? Again, I'm not against AI. I am for AI transparency. Take a few minutes and Google the phrase 'Dead Internet Theory', and just be careful out there, okay?

SummerTimeRedSea - NTA you will never forget, she is completly selfish, she manipulatd you just for her wants. Do you see yourself without children who was a dealbreaker for someone who completly disregarded your feeling ? She never thought about you so please do it for yourself you are still young.

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SoCalThrowAway7 - Why do you assholes post the AI garbage?

BrotherMcPoyle - YTA bc this is fake.

BulbasaurRanch - You should leave her. She betrayed you, strung you along for her own selfish wants. She completely dismissed your feelings and made you look like an i**ot (sorry).. She knew this was important to you, but still doesn’t care because she got what she wanted.. You can never trust her now. A relationship without trust is nothing.. NTA

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[Reddit User] - She’s a liar. Period.

Primary-Surprise-776 - You feel betrayed because you were betrayed.

ODBC_Error - '--' scattered throughout, italicising everything, 'Reddit, what would you do'. Fake chatgpt post YTA

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These takes are as raw as the husband’s pain, but do they miss the complexity of love versus trust? Can this couple rebuild, or is the betrayal a dealbreaker?

This isn’t just about kids—it’s about trust, choice, and the life you build together. The husband’s betrayal cuts deep, not just for the lost dream of fatherhood but for the years of silenced truth. Whether real or AI-spun, the story begs the question: can love survive such a lie? Have you ever faced a partner’s secret that reshaped your future? Share your stories—how do you mend a bond when trust is broken?

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