AITA for Exposing My Husband’s Affair With His “Girl Best Friend” at a Family BBQ After His Dad Told Me to “Get Over It”?

Jonathan Hours
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A 29-year-old woman thought she had a solid marriage, until her husband’s “girl best friend,” Megan, became more than just a friend. For years, she swallowed her unease about their overly close bond, trusting her husband’s assurances that Megan was “like a sister.” But when she uncovered his months-long affair with Megan, her world shattered. Caught between heartbreak and the pressure to keep up appearances, she faced a family BBQ where her pain would no longer stay silent.

Her father-in-law’s dismissive comments about Megan’s role in the family pushed her to the edge, while her mother-in-law’s unwavering support gave her strength. When she finally spoke out, revealing the betrayal in front of everyone, the fallout divided the family. Her raw, emotional story, shared on Reddit, has sparked debates about trust, loyalty, and when to draw the line. Was she wrong to expose the truth?

‘AITA for Exposing My Husband’s Affair With His “Girl Best Friend” at a Family BBQ After His Dad Told Me to “Get Over It”?’

I (29F) have been married to my husband (31M) for five years. We’ve had a good relationship overall, but there’s always been one issue: his “girl best friend,” Megan (30F). She’s been in his life since childhood, and while I’ve always felt a bit uneasy about their closeness, I trusted my husband and tried to be cool with it.

Megan is always around. She’s at our house constantly, they text all the time, and she even comes on family vacations with us. Every time I brought up how their friendship made me uncomfortable, my husband would brush it off, saying she’s “practically a sister” and that I was overreacting.

To make matters more complicated, my mother-in-law (58F) is amazing. She’s always had my back and has told me multiple times that if Megan made me uncomfortable, I should talk to my husband about setting boundaries. On the other hand, my father-in-law (60M) has a very different attitude.

He adores Megan and has always said that she’s part of the family and that I “just need to deal with it.” He thinks my discomfort with their friendship is just “jealousy.” Fast forward to two months ago. My husband started acting distant. Coming home late, being secretive with his phone, and just… off. I had a gut feeling something was wrong, so one night, I went through his phone while he was in the shower.

That’s when I found out—he and Megan had been having an affair for months. I was crushed. I confronted him, and he admitted everything. He swore it was a mistake, said he loved me, and begged me not to leave him. I didn’t know what to do, so I stayed quiet for a bit, trying to process everything.

A couple of weeks later, my in-laws hosted a big family BBQ. I was still reeling from the affair, but my husband convinced me to come, saying we needed to “keep up appearances” while we worked things out. I went, but I was a wreck inside, especially knowing Megan would be there.

Sure enough, Megan showed up like nothing had happened, acting all friendly with everyone, including me. I was boiling inside, but I kept it together. Then, during dinner, my father-in-law made some offhand comments about how Megan would “always be part of the family” and that I needed to “get over” my insecurities. He said this in front of everyone. That was my breaking point.

I stood up, looked straight at him, and said, “You know what? I would get over it if she wasn’t sleeping with my husband.” The entire table went silent. Megan’s face turned white, and my husband tried to calm me down, but I wasn’t having it. I told everyone exactly what had been going on—the sneaking around, the lies, the betrayal.

My mother-in-law was furious, but not at me. She laid into my husband and Megan, saying they’d destroyed our marriage and disrespected me. My father-in-law, though, had the audacity to say I was “overreacting” and that “affairs happen” but I shouldn’t have aired it out in front of the family. He even defended Megan, saying she made a “mistake” and we should all move on.

I left the BBQ and have been staying with my mom ever since. My husband keeps begging me to come home, and my mother-in-law has been supportive, but my father-in-law is telling the whole family that I’m the one causing drama and blowing things out of proportion. AITA for exposing their affair in front of everyone at the BBQ? Should I have kept it private, or was I right to call them out after everything?

Infidelity can turn a marriage into a house of cards, ready to collapse with one wrong move. This woman’s decision to expose her husband’s affair at a public family event reflects the raw pain of betrayal, amplified by her father-in-law’s casual dismissal. Dr. Shirley Glass, a renowned psychologist, once noted, “The betrayal of infidelity is not just in the act, but in the secrecy and deception that accompany it.” This rings true here, as the husband’s lies and Megan’s brazen presence fueled the wife’s outrage.

The clash between the OP and her father-in-law highlights a broader issue: family enabling of inappropriate relationships. The father-in-law’s defense of Megan, coupled with his history of infidelity (as revealed in updates), suggests a pattern of excusing boundary violations. According to a 2021 study by the Institute for Family Studies, 20% of marriages face infidelity, often complicated by family dynamics that either condemn or condone it.

Dr. Glass’s work emphasizes the importance of boundaries in friendships outside marriage. The OP’s discomfort with Megan’s constant presence was a valid red flag, ignored by her husband. For couples facing similar issues, experts suggest open communication and agreed-upon boundaries to rebuild trust. The OP might consider counseling to navigate her next steps, whether toward reconciliation or separation.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit community didn’t hold back, dishing out opinions with a side of sass. Here’s a taste of the top comments that lit up the thread:

SomeRazzmatazz339 − Ask your FIL, in front of witnesses that if affairs happen all the time, how many time has he fucked someone else. Like Father, Like son after all.

AGriffon − You’re not wrong, and given your FIL’s behavior and comments I have to wonder how often he’s cheated on MIL.

MysteriousMaximum488 − How many affairs has FIL has?

NoahVail2024 − I bet the FIL knew about the affair and was running interference. He went out of his way to effusively praise and support Megan and likely knew the OP had found out about the affair. Even after the OP’s outburst, the FIL did not change his tune at all. Obviously the OP should get divorced.

Bookish1331 − They are all AH except your MIL. I feel bad for your MIL because she sounds like a very sweet person married to a POS. Unfortunately it sounds like you’re married to a POS too. Was your timing on that great? Maybe not, but it’s completely understandable that you blew up with your FILs condescending comments.

I hope y’all don’t have children. Your husband is going to beg you to come back, but the truth is you deserve better and there’s no reason to stick around where you’re not respected. I’m really sorry this is happening to you, but hang in there because you will get through this.

Flynn_JM − My big question to my husband would be why now? You could have been with Megan for years. Why bother with me if you wanted to be together all along!?. I can't imagine this wasn't happening the entire marriage. . Did Megan apologize?

Far_Prior1058 − Ok, something is really weird with your soon to be ex husband’s family.

nick4424 − I wonder if FIL encouraged his son to cheat? He obviously likes Megan better.

friendly-sam − You were completely calm until pushed too far. You are not causing the drama, your husband's inability to control where he puts his penis is the problem.

jeffprop − You are so not wrong. You should ask your Mom if there is room for your MIL because of how FIL is acting.

These hot takes from Reddit range from fiery accusations to heartfelt support, but do they capture the full picture? One thing’s clear: the internet loves a good family drama.

This woman’s BBQ bombshell exposed more than just her husband’s affair—it revealed a family divided by loyalty and denial. Her courage to speak out, backed by her mother-in-law’s support, contrasts sharply with her father-in-law’s troubling defense of Megan. As she and her mother-in-law face their next steps, possibly toward divorce and new beginnings, the story leaves us pondering trust and accountability. What would you do if you were in her shoes—keep the secret or let it all out? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation going!

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