AITA for Exposing Coworker’s Dirty Home, Ruining Her Potluck Cake?

The office potluck was supposed to be a cheerful start to the new year, with trays of cheese, fruit, and ice cream crowding the breakroom table. But for one employee, the sight of Susie’s famous homemade cake stirred more dread than delight. After glimpsing the grim state of her coworker’s home—a stench of rotting food, cat-covered counters, and a bathroom that hadn’t seen a scrub in ages—they couldn’t stomach the thought of eating her baked goods. When pressed by curious colleagues, their honesty about Susie’s unsanitary kitchen sparked a wildfire of gossip, turning a festive lunch into an office showdown.

The fallout was swift: coworkers ditched the cake, whispers spread, and Susie’s reputation took a hit. Now facing an HR complaint, the employee wonders if their bluntness went too far. It’s a tale of workplace camaraderie gone sour, where hygiene concerns clash with tact, leaving readers to ponder—how would you handle this sticky situation?

‘AITA for Exposing Coworker’s Dirty Home, Ruining Her Potluck Cake?

My coworkers and I had a potluck lunch to celebrate after coming back for the new year. Most people brought pre-made stuff like meat and cheese platters fruit platters, ice cream and the like. One of my coworkers is very well known for baking stuff, let’s call her Susie.

Susie bakes stuff for the office all the time, and I used to eat her baked goods until I had to drop her off at her house. She was having car troubles and her house was on the way to my house. I asked her if I could come up and use the restroom because I had a drive a head of me.

When I walked into her house the smell knocked me back. It smelled like rotting food and cats. Susie has like 8 cats and they walk everywhere in her house, including on the kitchen counter. I also saw a litter box that was completely full. I don’t have cats, so I don’t know how often they need to be changed but it *smelled*.

Her bathroom looked like it had never been cleaned. Her kitchen was f**king terrible. Dirty s**t and old food everywhere. From there on I told myself I would never eat anything that Susie prepared in her house. As I was saying her baked goods are an office favorite, so everyone was having a piece of her cake at the potluck but me.

A few of my coworkers asked me why I wasn’t eating the cake, and I described to them the state of her home. They didn’t want to eat her cake either, one of them even threw her slice away. I guess word got around the office, and today when Susie brought baked goods nobody touched them.

Eventually word got back to her that I told everyone that her house was n**ty. People are distancing themselves from her. She says she’s filing and HR complaint against me for gossiping. I was just being honest with my coworkers, and I am a**hole?.

ADVERTISEMENT

Edit to clarify. I did tell the coworkers “privately” as in I didn’t scream across the office “SUSIE IS A SLOB. DO NOT EAT HER FOOD”. I told a couple of people and they told others because most people think that it’s n**ty AF to have animals on your counters in your kitchen..

Edit to clarify #2 Several of y’all have told me to add the fact that I have gotten food poisoning TWICE in the last three months to my post. I didn’t add it originally because there is no definitive way to determine whether Susie was the cause.

ADVERTISEMENT

It could have been bad sushi or a bad salad, but I have gotten food poisoning. I am not sure about my other co-workers but they have all stopped eating the food. So maybe they are making connections about getting sick too.

This potluck predicament is a classic case of good intentions tripping over bad delivery. Hygiene in food preparation is non-negotiable, but airing someone’s dirty laundry—literally—can turn a valid concern into workplace drama. The OP’s decision to share Susie’s home conditions sparked a ripple effect, exposing tensions around trust and professionalism.

ADVERTISEMENT

The OP’s concern about Susie’s kitchen isn’t baseless. According to the CDC, improper food handling can lead to over 48 million cases of foodborne illness annually in the U.S. Cats on counters and overflowing litter boxes raise red flags, as pet dander and bacteria like Salmonella can contaminate food prep areas. The OP’s food poisoning history, though unconfirmed, adds weight to their hesitation. Yet, their approach—spilling the tea during a public event—lacked the finesse needed to avoid humiliation.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist, notes in a Psychology Today article, “Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.” The OP could’ve privately raised their concerns with Susie or a supervisor, framing it as a health issue rather than a personal jab. This would’ve preserved Susie’s dignity while addressing the risk.

For solutions, the OP should apologize for the public callout while standing firm on hygiene concerns. A discreet chat with HR to clarify intentions and suggest food safety guidelines for potlucks could mend fences. Workplaces thrive on trust, so fostering open, respectful dialogue is key to avoiding these messy mix-ups.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a buffet of opinions spicier than the potluck spread. From fist bumps for the OP’s honesty to side-eyes for their gossip, the comments were a lively mix of support and shade. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

ADVERTISEMENT

NCBarkingDogs − YTA not for avoiding the cake but for saying why. There are much more diplomatic ways to handle that without outing your coworkers house.

Allaboutbird − I’m actually really torn on this one. I do get kind of a gossipy, mean vibe from this situation and I feel bad for the person but I also know that I would be personally horrified to find out that I’d been eating food prepared in that kind of kitchen.

Redqueenhypo − What you did was pretty rude, but NTA. In one of my health courses, we learned about this one time 20 people at a potluck got salmonella bc one of the participants let their lizard walk all over the counter.

ADVERTISEMENT

kristen1988 − ESH Typhoid Susie probably shouldn’t be preparing food for others in her house. Unless there is serious mental health issues, she has to know she’s risking making her coworkers sick. You waited until a work event where people were eating the cake to tell your friends and coworkers.

That’s not protecting them- that’s a punchline. You should have made your concerns known when the potluck was planned discretely if you felt it was a health hazard or just avoided the cake yourself.

doxiemama17 − I'm not going to make judgment, but this makes me terrified of potlucks.

ADVERTISEMENT

WebbieVanderquack − YTA for this part: A few of my coworkers asked me why I wasn’t eating the cake, and **I described to them the state of her home.** You just spread something really private and shameful to your coworkers, and you have no idea how dirty their homes are.

Meat and cheese platters are much more likely to be contaminated than a baked cake anyway.. People are distancing themselves from her.. That's going to be absolutely devastating. You shouldn't have done it.

[Reddit User] − Absolutely NTA!! I am shocked at how many people are saying YTA. I would 100% want someone to tell me if food was cooked in unsafe conditions. N**ty restaurants get blasted on the news EVERY day but a n**ty home that food is coming from, can’t be warned about?

ADVERTISEMENT

No no no. She signed up to be the “baked goods” lady, she should be ensuring it’s coming from a sanitary environment. This is why I do not eat home baked/cooked foods at potlucks. You just never know.

PleasureToNietzsche − YTA - not for act of refusing to eat the cake, because I sure as hell wouldn’t either; but come on, what the hell else do offices do other than gossip? There isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that once you said that, it wasn’t going to spread like wildfire through that office.

A simple “I’m not hungry” would have sufficed. Susie didn’t do a darn thing to you besides make the effort to bring good food to work for her co-workers and now she’s known as the office slob. Not cool, OP, and I feel she’s totally justified in her reaction.

ADVERTISEMENT

DgingaNinga − NTA - Food poisoning is no joke, but I'm not sure HR will see it the same way.

[Reddit User] − i want to say NTA because it's not wrong for wanting to eat food that's prepared in a hygienic place...but...if you guys have been eating her baked goods before with no repercussions (diarrhoea, food poisoning etc) maybe she does practice a certain standard of hygiene when baking?

and wanting to share this with colleagues from a place of good intentions, i get that too. however, i do get why she was upset though, it's really humiliating to have your dirty linen (literally) washed in public, so maybe the situation could've been handled with a bit more tact.

ADVERTISEMENT

These Redditors brought the heat, with some cheering the OP’s warning and others slamming their tactless delivery. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just stirring the pot?

This office saga shows how quickly a well-meaning warning can spiral into a workplace mess. The OP’s hygiene fears were valid, but their loose lips sank Susie’s ship, leaving her isolated and hurt. It’s a reminder that honesty needs a side of tact to avoid burning bridges. What would you do if you found yourself in this sticky potluck pickle? Share your thoughts and experiences—how do you balance truth with kindness in a tight-knit workplace?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *