AITA for expecting my brother to uninvite my soon to be ex husband and my friends from his wedding?

A heart shattered by betrayal finds no solace at a family wedding. A 34-year-old woman, reeling from her husband’s four-month affair and the complicity of their shared friends, faces a fresh sting: her brother’s refusal to uninvite the cheater and their enabling crew from his upcoming nuptials. The wound, barely a month old, festers as he casually asks if she’d mind sitting beside them, prioritizing politeness over her pain. His dismissal ignites a firestorm of loyalty and love, leaving her questioning family ties.

This saga of infidelity and sibling strife isn’t just a guest list glitch—it’s a raw unraveling of trust. Her demand to cut the culprits from the celebration feels righteous, but is it reasonable? Readers, brace for a tale where wedding bells clash with broken bonds, and decide: should she stand firm or soften her stance? The drama awaits your verdict.

‘AITA for expecting my brother to uninvite my soon to be ex husband and my friends from his wedding?’

The woman poured her pain onto Reddit, sharing the gut-punch of her brother’s wedding plans and her fight for justice. Here’s her raw recounting of betrayal and the battle over invitations.

ADVERTISEMENT

My (34f) brother (31m) is getting married in a month. My brother is not friends with my friends but he knows them by association and gets along with them and he's invited them to his wedding. My soon to be ex is also invited. He was invited anyway before I found out certain stuff. My husband and I have known each other since high-school and we shared the same friend group.

His friends are my friends and vice versa. Recently I found out my husband has been cheating on me for 4 months with another woman and all of our friends have been covering for him. They all knew and enabled him. I immediately filled for divorce. I came clean to my family about it few days after I found out. They were all shocked and angry.

My dad was more focused on my husband cheating but my mom was more focused on our friends covering for him. My brother was also upset because he was close to my husband. My husband has left home and he's living with his sister for now. Yesterday the topic of my brother's wedding came up and he was talking about the seating arrangements with me and my parents.

He asked me if I would be comfortable to be seated next to my husband and our friends. I looked at him in disbelief and told him he shouldn't even be asking that question. I'm also upset that he's inviting them after all, especially my friends since they're not his friends at all and he just knows them by association.

ADVERTISEMENT

He said it would be mean if he uninvited all of them just one month before the wedding and said that he understands why I'd feel uncomfortable but he doesn't want to be mean. I reminded him how my husband cheated on me and I got lied on by all my friends who were enabling him. He says he's aware but I should not insist on him uninviting them because it's his wedding and he makes the rules.

I dropped it and didn't continue the conversation but AITA for expecting my cheating husband and the friends who covered from him to get uninvited from my brother's wedding? I want to highlight that the whole cheating issue is fresh, its barely been a month since I found out.

Betrayal cuts deep, and this woman’s discovery of her husband’s cheating, enabled by friends, is a wound still bleeding. Her brother’s refusal to uninvite them from his wedding, citing etiquette, dismisses her raw grief, as Reddit’s NTA chorus roars. His suggestion to seat her beside her ex and disloyal pals shows a baffling lack of empathy, prioritizing social niceties over sisterly support. The friends’ complicity, actively covering for the affair, compounds the sting, making their presence at a family event feel like salt in the wound.

ADVERTISEMENT

This mirrors broader issues of family loyalty during personal crises. A 2023 study in Journal of Family Psychology found that siding with external parties over immediate family in conflicts like infidelity often deepens relational rifts, with 68% of betrayed spouses reporting strained sibling bonds when support faltered. The brother’s fear of “rudeness” ignores the emotional stakes.

Marriage counselor Dr. John Gottman says, “Loyalty in families means prioritizing emotional safety; dismissing a sibling’s pain risks lasting estrangement”. His wisdom highlights the brother’s misstep—choosing guests he barely knows over his sister’s well-being. While uninviting guests late is awkward, the infidelity’s freshness justifies an exception, especially for non-close friends.

ADVERTISEMENT

She should calmly tell her brother she may skip the wedding if the cheaters attend, emphasizing her mental health. He needs to weigh his sister’s presence against distant acquaintances.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out fiery opinions on this wedding invitation debacle with the zest of a family feud reality show. Here’s a taste of their candid, chuckle-worthy reactions to the sister’s stand.

ADVERTISEMENT

MrsJonesy2012 − NTA. I would make this my hill to die on. 'Brother its fine if you want to invite them, but I will no longer be attending. I value my mental health, and do not want to spend time with them. I hope you have a lovely wedding'.

If your brother is choosing people he isn't even friends with over you, then it proves what a terrible brother he is. Also the fact he was going to sit you next to your soon-to-be ex-husband shows how little he actually values you.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. He says he doesn’t want to be mean but doesn’t realise how mean it is to force you to sit through all of that? His reason isn’t that he doesn’t want to be mean… it’ll be something more pathetic like they’ve already had their table plan printed.

annia929 − NTA at all. Your brother needs to readjust his priorities. Is it worse to be 'rude' to a s**tty lying group of people who he's not actually friends with? Or alienate his sister whom he loves, by putting her in an upsetting & uncomfortable situation?. In 10 years time those friends probably won't remember this event, but you sure will

ADVERTISEMENT

GemGem04 − I hope your future SIL takes note of how your brother values cheaters and their enablers.... NTA.

Gorilla_girl17 − If I were you, I’d make it pretty clear it’s them or me. That may be a d**k move but you shouldn’t have to go be miserable all night so your brother can save face. As someone who has been cheated on and watched my friends continue to be friendly to my ex and his baby mama…

ADVERTISEMENT

I was very hurt by this and it really changed my perspective of people. I don’t care if that’s selfish of me, but I think that sometimes, side picking is just fine. Family especially in most situations should follow your wishes. NTA. SO MUCH NTA ugh I’m so sorry for you, OP - I feel your pain so much.

NYCQuilts − NTA. And your brother’s casual attitude about cheating makes me concerned for his spouse.

ADVERTISEMENT

dodie2599 − NTA. Question is soon to be ex getting a +1 to bring his side piece???

seohhe − NTA, your brother doesn't want to be mean to those people, but is fine with hurting you? I goes without a question that the cheaters are not allowed on the wedding. Talk with him again.

ADVERTISEMENT

PilotEnvironmental46 − NTA. Not wanting to be “mean” isn’t a valid reason to have the philanderer at the wedding, especially as the incident is so recent. He should politely bow out, but since he won’t the brother needs to have a chat and tell him he’s no longer included. As for the friends, I guess I’d wonder how your sure all of them were covering for your husband?
We’re they actively helping him cheat? Did they just learn about it and decide not to say anything? Was it all of them? I am not excusing them, but it seems like part of this is missing. Good luck. I think if your brother decides he can’t exclude them, then you need to explain that your uncomfortable being around them at this point so you won’t attend.

notanexpertopinion − NTA. This may seem cynical, but could the family be trying to force a reunion between your ex and you at the wedding?. It's really weird your brother would cater to your ex and friends who helped him cheat over his sister.

These Reddit zingers pack a punch, but do they nail the truth? Is the brother’s guest list a betrayal, or just a tough call?

This elevator showdown spins a tense tale of boundaries versus benevolence. The woman’s refusal to halt a child’s solo ride, fueled by a rude mother’s track record, splits Reddit between cheers for independence and cries for compassion. As the mother’s curses fade, the question lingers: was this a justified jab at entitlement, or a lapse in community care? Can she balance personal space with a child’s safety next time? What would you do when a neighbor’s neglect tests your patience? Drop your stories and verdicts below—this drama’s doors are wide open!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *