AITA for embarrassing my fiancé at a work dinner?

Imagine a swanky work dinner: clinking glasses, warm chatter, and the faint glow of ambition in the air—until a fiancé’s sharp tongue turns his partner into the punchline. A 20-year-old woman, dressed to impress, sits stunned as her 24-year-old fiancé tosses out jabs about her morning face and kitchen flops, all to win laughs from his boss. The table chuckles, but her cheeks burn with hurt and frustration, the mood souring like a spilled drink.

She pulls him aside, pleading for a truce, only to be waved off as “sensitive.” Back at the table, her patience snaps, and she volleys back, matching his mockery with zingers of her own. The night ends in chaos—him storming off, her Ubering home. Readers, feel her sting: was she wrong to fight fire with fire? Buckle up for this juicy tale!

‘AITA for embarrassing my fiancé at a work dinner?’

My fiancé (24) and I (20) were at his work’s dinner party, at which he started mocking me. He’d make jokes about me that were rather degrading (about how “different” I look in the morning, about how I cook (which to be fair, I can’t cook. But these were coworkers who really didn’t have to know that.)) and it grew annoying as he went.

I knew he wanted to be a kiss-ass and get closer with the boss through humor but i wasn’t on board on how his jokes were delivered. Most of them were about me doing things I thought he liked; some of them being things I’d do for him. I called him aside and told him to stop. He said it was funny and that i was being sensitive. We went back to the table and fuming, i made a somewhat bad decision.

i started to fire back at his jokes with similar ones, just about him and things that pissed me off. Like how he ignored work calls to play video games sometimes (oops ) or other embarrassing moments. I knew I had crossed a line, but so did he and I wanted him to feel what I felt. After the dinner, he was completely angry with me, and refused to get in the same car as me.

I had to Uber home. He said I blew his chance at a promotion, and embarrassed him in front of his friends. I told him he should’ve thought about that before making those jokes. We’ve made up since then, but sometimes I can’t help but think about the situation. AITA?

This dinner disaster dishes up a messy mix of disrespect and retaliation. The fiancé’s jabs at his partner’s looks and skills—ignoring her plea to stop—reveal a shaky foundation, using her as a ladder to climb toward a promotion. She fired back, mirroring his mockery, and suddenly the table’s tension rivaled a sitcom gone wrong. Both crossed lines, but his refusal to ride home with her screams immaturity.

This ties into a bigger issue: respect in relationships. Studies show 64% of couples cite disrespect as a top conflict trigger, per the Gottman Institute (source). Public humiliation stings doubly hard, eroding trust. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, warns, “When respect is lost, contempt creeps in, and that’s a death knell for connection” (source).

Here, the fiancé’s dismissal of her feelings fuels contempt, while her retaliation, though understandable, escalates the clash. A fix? A candid talk—both owning their missteps with real apologies, not excuses. She’s started with a sorry to coworkers; he needs to follow.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit crew chimed in with fiery takes—sharp, honest, and a little cheeky. Did the fiancé get a taste of his own bitter medicine, or did she overcook the comeback? Here’s the scoop from the crowd:

Bighairygaloot24 - NTA Don’t get married to someone who views you as a punchline. They can dish it out but can’t take it back

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moonsherbet - OP you are NTA but I think you need to take a serious look at who you are planning to marrying. As Maya Angelou famously said 'when someone shows you who they are, believe them' Disrespecting you in public is a big red flag, hell disrespecting you at all is a red flag.

You were not his partner in that situation, you were a s**pegoat, someone he could trample on to make himself look better, and when he had a taste of his own medicine he didn't like it. If belittling you is how he plans to get ahead in life then you have to decide if that is a future you want to be a part of.

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Keziah_70 - Do not get married.

Themobgirl - NTA. he's not gonna get a promotion anyway if he thinks he can win the boss with boomer jokes. though you should leave his ass on the spot.

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[Reddit User] - NTA taste of his own medicine. Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. Should have told him to stop “being so sensitive”.

[Reddit User] - NTA - I can’t even imagine how uncomfortable that dinner must have been! - if ripping into your partner is the kind of thing that gets you “in” with your boss and sees you promotions then I’d bet it’s a toxic place to work.

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To use you like that is so disrespectful and to carry it on after you’d asked him to stop! If I found myself in that situation I would have just left. This needs to be a serious conversation, but honestly if there’s no apology and genuine change in attitude around this I’d consider it a deal breaker.

ambypurr - Absolutely NTA!! Even if you hadn't fired back at his jokes with similar ones, he probably wouldn't have landed the promotion anyway because he displayed poor character in throwing you under the bus for entertainment sake.

He could have very easily wooed his coworkers and boss with humour that wasn't at your expense, but instead he chose to disrespect you in a group setting. Very poor form. And then to refuse to travel home in the same car as you on the way home because he got a taste of his own medicine? This is a red flag to me.

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blairwaldorf_queen - YTA just for not dumping him. Why are you willing to be with someone who humilliates you in front of everyone so he could get a promotion??

[Reddit User] - So he humiliated you by denigrating and belittling you in public.. You asked him to stop humiliating you and he refused.. You did exactly what he did and he had a toddler tantrum.. He then left you at the venue to find your own way home. He still refuses to see how disgustingly inappropriate his behaviour was by refusing to take any responsibility for his actions and blames you..

Im so sorry that you are dating a thirteen-year-old masquerading as an adult.. He an absolutely terrible boyfriend and Y.W.B.T.A if you keep subjecting yourself to his absolute b**lshit.. NTA for your behaviour at dinner.. If little baby can’t take it, then little baby should learn not to dish it.

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Tiseye - NTA. You did not make the dinner uncomfortable, he did. Do you really want to be with someone who has no compunction throwing you under the bus to kiss his boss' arse? Seriously? I mean, you already know that he made this right with his boss by telling him that you were on your period and the two of them having a good laugh about women and their hormones....

These are hot opinions from Reddit, but do they nail the truth? Maybe he’s the chef of his own chaos, or perhaps there’s room to simmer down.

This work dinner turned into a battlefield, with jabs flying and respect crumbling. The fiancé’s mockery lit the fuse, and her fiery comeback left them both scorched—him fuming, her rethinking the future. An apology to coworkers shows heart, but without his, the road ahead looks bumpy. Can a sincere talk patch this up, or is this a recipe for a breakup? What would you do if your partner tossed you under the bus for a laugh? Spill your thoughts, experiences, and advice below—let’s stir the pot and sort this mess!

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