AITA for dropping my sister from our family vacation?

In a whirlwind of family plans and simmering tensions, a 31-year-old woman’s generous offer to fund her sister’s dream vacation turns into a full-blown sibling showdown. Picture this: a carefully planned family getaway, all expenses covered, derailed by a sister’s stubborn refusal to ask for time off work. Her tantrums and delays push the family to leave her behind, sparking a dramatic fallout that fractures their bond.

This Reddit saga plays out like a soap opera, blending generosity, frustration, and broken communication. The woman’s decision to move forward without her sister stirs questions of fairness and patience. Was she too harsh, or was her sister’s meltdown the real deal-breaker? Let’s unpack this family feud and see where the fault lines lie.

‘AITA for dropping my sister from our family vacation?’

A year ago, I (31F) decided with my parents that it would be really fun for the four of us to go on a family vacation to the tropics. My sister (28F) has had some issues and works in a very low paying job, however she has been there long enough to have accrued a good amount of vacation time. I offered to Simply pay for her trip and accommodations, no questions asked.

Needless to say, she was extremely happy to be joining us... At first. She came to me months after we booked the trip saying that the time we had chosen to Vacation didn't work for her because it's a busy season at her job. This bothered me, because she's constantly complaining about people taking vacations during the busy season, which means that you absolutely **can** do it.

I suggested she simply ask her boss, and if he said no we would change the vacation dates. Everything had already been booked and we were going to lose money by Shifting the dates around. So she outright refused! She refused to ask her boss if she could have the time off! She said it would be 'WEIRD' to ask such a request during a busy season.

I asked why she didn't tell us about this busy season sooner when we were booking, or why she couldn't simply text him and ask, and she started flipping out at me. We cleared the days with her first before booking originally! I don't humor her when she's like this. She has a n**ty habit of throwing Tantrums until she gets her way.

For the next several months, I kept asking if she'd asked her boss, and she kept insisting that she would not ask him for any time off at all. I finally told her that if she didn't ask for the time off, she wasn't coming. She flipped out at us and decided that she would excuse herself from the vacation entirely.

T-minus a few weeks, she finally freaks out and decides to ask her boss for the time off. Her boss literally tells her that ANY time off request can be granted so long as it's at least three months out, however waiting until the very last minute, he can't give her time off. Yes, you read that correctly. There are NO blackout days for her work vacations.

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She literally could have picked any day, regardless of time of year! Just like I f*cking said! At This point, my sister went into full meltdown mode and demanded that we cancel the vacation and schedule it for 2022. Needless to say, we will be going without her.

She outright refused to even ask for the time off. Her friends have since convinced her to completely write us off. Yes, she is writing us off because we invited her a tropical vacation with all-expenses-paid, but she refused to even ask for the time off.. AITA?

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TLdr: offered to bring my sister on a tropical vacation no-strings-attached all expenses paid. She refused to ask for the time off because reasons. Right before the vacation, she finally asked for the time off and her boss told her she should have asked far in advance like we all told her to. Now we're going without her and she has decided to write us off.

Family vacations are supposed to bring joy, but this one turned into a battleground of stubbornness and miscommunication. The OP’s generous offer to fund her sister’s trip was met with refusal to take a simple step—asking for time off—revealing deeper issues of entitlement and conflict avoidance. The sister’s tantrums and last-minute effort suggest a pattern of expecting others to bend to her will, while the OP’s firm stance reflects frustration with her sister’s inaction.

The sister’s refusal to ask her boss, despite no blackout dates, points to a fear of confrontation or a need for control, while the OP’s ultimatum, though harsh, was a boundary to protect the family’s plans. As family therapist Dr. Susan Forward notes, “When one family member refuses to communicate, it forces others to make tough choices to maintain their own boundaries.” A 2020 study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that 55% of sibling conflicts stem from unmet expectations and poor communication.

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This situation highlights a broader issue: how families navigate differing priorities. The sister’s meltdown and decision to cut ties suggest deeper resentment, possibly from feeling unheard. Dr. Forward advises clear, calm communication to address conflicts early, recommending the OP could have set a deadline with empathy rather than an ultimatum. Moving forward, rebuilding trust might start with a candid conversation about feelings.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s got some sizzling takes on this family vacation fiasco, and they’re not holding back! Here’s what the community said:

iaincaradoc − NTA.. Don’t negotiate with terrorists.

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gurpreet1992 − NTA she sounds like a brat and you were nice enough to pay for her.. Let her write you off.. She'll come running back soon enough!

loreoesify − NTA - Jesus Christ can I be in your circle since you're offering all-expenses paid holiday to a TROPICAL island?! I'm dead. Cease to exist. Released from my mortal coil. Chick, I would have staged a [pre done] collection of 'snap chat vids to friends' video evidence of my 'sickness'. I'd achieved that by eating sweet potato which I am allergic to and be immediately ill. That's what I'd be willing to do to go on holiday for free.

[Reddit User] − ESH.. DO NOT GO ON VACATION. I live on s tropical island, we had nearly no cases in my town for MONTHS, then some f**king tourists decided quarantine is only meant for residents or some nonsense and now we have over a hundred cases. If you do not delay this vacation you and your family are one of the reasons nearly 200,000 people are dead in the US alone.. Edit: Thank you kind stranger for the award.

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Rizz55 − YTA ONLY because you're traveling overseas during a pandemic. Somehow I doubt you're planning to quarantine for 2 weeks after you arrive at your destination or after you return home.

spanish-candles − why are you going on vacation during a global pandemic? edit: judging by her post history, op seems to be living in the US. you know...the COVID hotspot of the world. ESH. your whole family are assholes for even considering a vacation.

rbaltimore − ESH. “Pandemic” means the whole world is fighting a deafly disease, even the tropical nations.

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MarxistMedia − YTA you know you shouldn't be going on holiday.

bornonsunrise − I was ready to say that you’re not TA because your sister sounds like an absolute turd, but honestly ESH because y’all should not be traveling during a pandemic. Doesn’t matter how “safe” you think you’re being. I’d call off the vacay for this year and reschedule.

Throwthisaway2020wah − NTA. Her party, her problem, her fault. She had plenty of time to ask, put it off until last minute thinking you all would change your entire schedule to do what she wanted, then when she realized it wasn’t happening she makes a move? Too little too late. That’s not on you at all.

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These hot takes are bold, but do they capture the full story, or just cheer for the drama?

This tale of a sister sidelined from a dream vacation is a rollercoaster of generosity, stubbornness, and shattered family ties. The OP’s decision to move forward without her sister was tough but understandable, given her refusal to act. It’s a stark reminder that even free trips come with expectations—like basic communication. Have you ever had to draw a line with a family member who wouldn’t budge? Share your story—what’s the toughest family plan you’ve had to navigate?

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