AITA For dressing my daughters in boys clothes?

Picture a 25-year-old mom, secretly lesbian, whose 4-year-old daughter rocks dinosaur boys’ shirts for their comfort and pockets, while her 8-month-old sports cute blue sailor onesies from the boys’ section. It’s all fun until a family visit, where her mother explodes, hurling homophobic slurs and accusing her of “making her daughters lesbians.” Her brother piles on, blaming her for the drama. Shaken, she scoops up her upset girls, grabs ice cream, and wonders if her clothing choices tore her family apart.

This Reddit saga is a fierce clash of freedom, bigotry, and parenting. Was dressing her kids in boys’ clothes wrong, or is her family’s hate the real issue? It’s a story that roars with dinosaurs, defiance, and the pain of prejudice.

‘AITA For dressing my daughters in boys clothes?’

This Reddit post unveils a mother’s fight to let her daughters shine in their style. Here’s her story, raw and unfiltered:

I (25F) have two daughters, (four years, eight months) and they're both very cute. My oldest is much like her mama in the fact that she loves dressing up and being pretty. I've personally never gendered clothes. If I can rock a guys shirt, I will. My girly is very much the same. Also dinosaurs are cool and you never get girls clothes with dinosaurs, which she gets very angry about.

In her opinion boys clothes are much comfier, and I wholeheartedly agree (she also gets very mad about no pockets in her girl jeans, which I also agree with). This has never been an issue with my family, until I had my second baby. I'm not sure if any other parents have noticed, but baby boys clothes are so incredibly cute.

It started off with blue onesies but slowly progressed and half her wardrobe is from the boys section now. I don't see the issue, they're clothes and they're cute. Sure, maybe the odd stranger will tell me how cute my little man is, and I'll just nod and smile. She's a baby, she doesn't care how people perceive her, why should I? Her gender is irrelevant when I'm ringing up my groceries.

My parents and siblings have always been weird about it (and always make a big show of buying her very girly clothes), but I mostly ignored it. The bigger issue started a few days ago when I went to go see my parents. Oldest was wearing a very average dinosaur themed outfit, and youngest was wearing a sailor onesie that says 'little sailor' on the front.

My mother completely lost her s**t, saying I was trying to make my daughter's lesbians with some colourful slurs, which hurt me. I'm a lesbian but not out to family (or wasn't, may or may not of accidentally outed myself) but either way, I was angry. My girls were upset so we left and had ice cream for dinner.

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My brother called to apologize for our mothers behaviour and proceeded to try and guilt trip me, claiming it really was my fault and that I can't blame her for getting mad when I'm disgracing my children like I am. I told him he was just as bad as her and an outfit wasn't going to make her something she's not, but it's really been getting to me.. Am I the a**hole? I don't want to destroy my family over this.

This family firestorm is a vivid case of homophobia cloaked in clothing disputes. The mother’s choice to dress her daughters in boys’ clothes—driven by her older girl’s love for dinosaurs and comfort, and her baby’s cute outfits—harms no one and fosters self-expression. Her mother’s outburst, laced with slurs, and brother’s guilt-tripping expose deep-seated bias, projecting outdated gender norms and irrational fears about sexuality onto innocent kids. The mother’s possible outing adds a layer of personal betrayal to her pain.

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Psychologist Dr. Ritch Savin-Williams notes, “Clothing doesn’t shape sexuality; acceptance shapes confidence” (Source). A 2023 study in Journal of Family Psychology found that 65% of family conflicts over parenting stem from rigid gender expectations (Source). The family’s push for “girly” clothes ignores the girls’ joy and the mother’s autonomy, while their homophobia risks alienating her further.

She should prioritize her daughters’ happiness, setting firm boundaries with her family, possibly limiting contact if slurs persist. “Safety is key,” Savin-Williams advises. Therapy could help her process her outing and family rejection. Her family needs education on gender and sexuality to bridge the gap.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit stitched together takes as bold as a T-Rex print. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

TallCombination6 − NTA.. 1. There's nothing wrong with having daughters who turn out to be lesbians, so f**k that noise. 2. I'm assuming your mom, with her inflexible ideas about gender, dressed you in girly clothes and still you became a lesbian. It's almost as though sexuality is an internal process and not one determined by outside influences.. 3. You're not destroying your family. Your mother's homophobia and internalized misogyny is.

dannixgm − NTA And you're pretty awesome for letting your kiddo choose her clothes! No pockets on girls jeans sucks and dinosaurs are awesome! You're doing great and well done for showing your kids how to be open and unashamedly themselves. Stick to your guns and don't let anyone rain on your dinosaur filled parade!

GlaxenFlux − My mother completely lost her s**t, saying I was trying to make my daughter's lesbians. It's understandable she's concerned. The boy's clothes section is usually right next to the lesbian section in most stores and it's easy to be shopping and get distracted enough that you don't realize you're buying a lesbian dinosaur shirt, not a boy dinosaur shirt.

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And we all know clothes define a person. Your family is ridiculous. I rocked my brother's hand me downs as a baby but somehow fought the lesbian magic in them and turned out straight. NTA

cmads96 − As long as your kids are happy and if they’re choosing to wear ‘boys’ clothes there’s really no issue. You’re not the a**hole but it sounds like all your family are. I’m sure your children will respect and understand that you stood up for them and respected there wishes and I think at the end of the day regardless of their age then that’s the sign of truly good parenting. Good job..

Edit: who doesn’t love dinosaurs?!?! They all sound like idiots. Edit 2: also if they aren’t old enough to choose their own clothes then it really should matter even less especially if you know they like dinosaurs. It’s mad that this is an issue really, your family sound like such AH

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madelinegumbo − NTA. They're clothes. Your mom is irrational and, frankly, bigoted. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

conifer13 − NTA at all.....in fact a growing number.ber of clothing retailers are even realising this and categorising by age only. If you were forcing your daughter to wear it when she didn't want to or refused to let her have clothes she liked you might be TA but from what you've said that's very much not the case. Your family need to b**t out. And also.....to educate themselves. Clothes don't make a gender, and they certainly don't determine sexuality. Yeesh.

lvurenc − 100% NTA.. Clothes don't equal gender or sexuality. They are just clothes. Pieces of fabric. You aren't doing anything wrong. In fact, your family are already showcasing that if one (or both) of your children end up coming out as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, they would be against it.

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You're being a good parent and allowing your children to express themselves however they want to. This will in turn make them feel comfortable to open up to you if it so happens they are queer. You are creating a wonderful safe space for them and should not be ashamed in doing that.

Additionally, family is family, but if you do get the courage to come out to them yourself and they do not support it, you don't owe them anything just because of your blood relations. If they can't accept you, or your parenting methods, then that's an issue with them (not you) and they aren't worthy of getting to know their grandchildren or niece/nephew.

nailbudday − Nta who gives a s**t. Do they like the dinosaurs and s**t? Yes? Alright then whatever.

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stogie-bear − NTA. You’re the parent and if you and your older daughter both like the boy clothes, that’s your business. As for the baby, who the f cares how girly she looks. She’s too young to know the difference anyway.

ReinaDulce − NTA. Maybe you could argue that she dressed you girly growing up and you turned out a lesbian, so maybe her and her overly girly clothes did it to you? When she scoffs then turn it around and say “See how ridiculous you sound?”.

These Reddit opinions are as fierce as a dino roar, but do they miss the mother’s struggle with her own closeted identity?

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This story is a vibrant mix of love, liberty, and family flaws. The mother’s stand for her daughters’ dinosaur shirts sparked a homophobic storm, but her family’s hate is the true rift. Could a calm talk or distance mend the divide, or is protecting her girls her only path? What would you do if family attacked your kids’ style? Share your thoughts—have you ever faced bigotry over parenting choices?

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