AITA for ditching the wedding my parents paid for and getting eloped when my sister announced her pregnancy?

The air was thick with henna’s earthy scent, laughter echoing through the vibrant mehndi night. A bride, glowing in her moment, suddenly found her spotlight stolen. Her sister’s pregnancy announcement turned the celebration into a family spectacle, leaving her feeling like a forgotten guest at her own event. Hurt and sidelined, she made a bold choice: to elope, leaving behind a wedding her parents had lovingly funded. This tale of family favoritism and spontaneous rebellion unfolds with raw emotion, sparking debates about loyalty, fairness, and standing up for oneself.

Growing up in her sister’s shadow, the bride craved her mother’s approval, finally tasting it during wedding planning. But when her sister’s news hijacked her night, old wounds reopened. With her father’s blessing, she chose a quiet Nikah and a Sydney escape, trading chaos for peace. Was she justified, or did she let resentment ruin a family milestone? Let’s dive into this drama-filled story.

‘AITA for ditching the wedding my parents paid for and getting eloped when my sister announced her pregnancy?’

The more I think about it, the more I feel bad about it and the more I feel like an arsehole. My whole life my mother has compared me to my older sister. She would always put her on a pedestal and praise her. I could literally never win with my mother, nothing was ever good enough. I was constantly criticized for everything.

When I got engaged things changed. My mother was excited and wanted to be involved. My partner and I wanted to elope but my parents said they'll pay for a small wedding as they paid for my sister's. I finally had the attention I craved from my mother. Even if she was judging me for every single thing. My sister would make snarky comments.

I knew she wasn't used to not being the centre of attention when it came to our mother. On my mehndi night, while I was getting my mehndi done my sister said she had an announcement. She announced that after years of infertility she was pregnant. Everyone was super happy and started congratulating her. It was like my mother forgot about me.

The rest of the evening she neglected me and my sister loved all the attention she was receiving. I get that it’s exciting, she is finally pregnant after how long with the first grandchild, but this was calculated, she purposely did this at my event. Once everyone had left I contacted my partner to tell him what happened and how upset I was.

He understood why I was upset and suggested we go with our original plan, and get Islamically eloped. I knew my sister would pull something else at the wedding and my mother hadn't messaged me once. I was tempted but was worried about my parents spending so much money and things being non-refundable so I called my dad.

My dad understood how I felt and said to go for it. Luckily we had a day break in between my mehndi and the Nikah. My dad contacted the Imam and the next day my partner and I went with my dad, my uncle, my partner's brother and uncle to the Mosque. We did our Nikah then went out to eat. It was honestly perfect except my mother started calling me so I blocked her.

My partner and I booked a flight to Sydney and left. Once we got there that is when I unblocked my mother and told everyone on Insta. My and my husband's phones have been blowing up with calls and messages from everyone calling me immature and a brat for doing what I did and disrespecting my mother.

My mother's messages are all about me embarrassing her and everyone gossiping. And all the money she spent and booked on stuff for me. I feel like an arsehole because I wasted that money, even though my dad said it was okay and they can still celebrate just without us.

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I feel bad for my husband, everyone is talking about how he married an immature brat. I can't fully enjoy this spontaneous trip even though my partner and my dad have told me I should block everyone and enjoy my holiday. Maybe I overreacted? AITA?.

EDIT: Thank you everyone for your kind words and congratulations 🤎 You guys have helped me put things into perspective. Everyone talking about my dad and cherishing him, don’t worry I do! I have the best Abbu!

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He understood how I felt and helped me have the wedding I really wanted. I have been enjoying my time with my new husband in Sydney, the weather has been kind to us. Don’t know what the weather is like back home in Auckland but I hope it’s raining 🤭

Family gatherings can feel like walking a tightrope, especially when favoritism tilts the balance. The bride’s story highlights a painful dynamic where one sibling’s milestone overshadows another’s. According to Family Psychology, favoritism can erode trust, with 40% of adults reporting perceived parental bias in studies. Here, the sister’s announcement, timed suspiciously, feels like a power play, amplifying the bride’s sense of neglect.

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Dr. Susan Whitbourne, a psychologist quoted in a Psychology Today article, notes, “Favoritism creates a hierarchy where one child’s needs consistently trump others, fostering resentment.” The bride’s reaction—eloping—reflects a desperate bid for agency. Her mother’s focus on embarrassment over empathy suggests a deeper disconnect, as explored in Issendai’s work on estranged families.

While the sister’s pregnancy is joyous, announcing it mid-event seems calculated, shifting attention deliberately. The bride’s elopement, though drastic, was a boundary-setting act, supported by her father’s understanding of her pain. To navigate this, open communication is key. The bride could express her hurt calmly, focusing on her feelings rather than accusations, to foster healing.

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For others in similar spots, experts suggest setting clear expectations before events and seeking neutral mediators, like a family therapist, to address favoritism. The bride’s choice prioritized her peace, a valid move when feeling erased. Her story underscores a broader issue: families must balance individual milestones to avoid lasting rifts.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out support and shade with equal zest. Here’s the spicy scoop from the crowd, buzzing with cheers for the bride and side-eyes for her mom and sister.

Lazuli_Rose − NTA. Your dad knows how your mom acts and he supported you. They can just turn in into a sister's pregnant party.. Listen to your partner and dad on this one- block them all an enjoy your honeymoon/holiday! Congratulations!

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Listen to your dad and husband. They’re the beacon you need now. Forget the buzz and drama from other parties and enjoy your time away. When getting back, just give short responses, if any. Try not to explain or defend. It just sucks energy. Those who understand what happened will not nag. Refer relatives to dad, if he’s ok with that… 💛

JeepersCreepers74 − NTA because it sounds like you only went through with the traditional wedding in the first place to appease your mother. I find this perfectly timed grandchild after years of infertility to be suspicious. Do you have anything other than your sister's word to confirm she's actually pregnant?

BaronsDad − Your dad gave you the green light and protected you from further problems. He clearly doesn't care about the money. Your sister is clearly your mother's golden child. My only concern is the wedding guests.

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Were there people who loved you and wanted to celebrate your marriage? If there was no one else, you're clearly N T A. But if you abandoned the wedding and only told friends through Instagram... then you let your mom and sister win. And you hurt the people who love you.

Sensitive_Coconut339 − NTA. The favoritism to your sister is pretty blatant if you dad ENCOURAGES you to blow off the wedding. You did what was right for you and your partner, that is all that matters!

CakePhool − NTA. Listen to your dad, he is right. Your mum is just upset she couldnt parade your pregnant sister around the wedding.

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Caspian4136 − NTA.You had the full support of your father so that tells me he knows very well how your mother is and that she favors your sister over you. What you need to do is actually tell your mom how she is. It probably won't change, but it may ease some of how you feel.

Free_Distance7839 − Oh huns, nta you stated it, your mother had her favorite, your sister could’ve chosen another time to announce her pregnancy yet she did it during your event . Your mom is jus hurt because she was finally given a reality check about her favoritism and missed on a beautiful experience.

You had said that they keep on talking down to you and criticizing you why keep allowing that? Enjoy uour honeymoon and the time with your husband that truly loves you and support you, who cares what others have to feel ? Do you and be happy! Congratulations!

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G1rlinBlue − NTA. People who use others special day to make it about themselves are the worst. I don't blame you one bit. I also think your fathers approval is additional proof to you that you're NTA. As long as you're happy, and you are happy with how your wedding went, then that's all that matters. I agree with your dad lol just block them for awhile/ go low contact and enjoy your married life

gavrielkay − NTA. Reminds me of reading this: Parents who clearly favor one child and then can't understand when another one gets tired of their crap and does their own thing is an all too common theme these days.

These Redditors rallied behind the bride, praising her dad’s wisdom and calling out her sister’s spotlight grab. Some questioned the pregnancy’s timing, while others urged her to ignore the haters. But do these fiery takes capture the full story, or are they just fueling the drama?

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This bride’s elopement swapped family drama for a serene Sydney getaway, backed by her dad’s quiet strength. Her story reminds us that weddings are about love, not competition, and boundaries can be lifelines. While her mother’s hurt is real, the bride’s choice reclaimed her moment. What would you do if a family member stole your thunder on a big day? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep this conversation going!

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