AITA for Ditching my Cousin’s Baby Shower and Taking the Food Away from the Party?

In a lively family home buzzing with baby shower preparations, the clatter of grocery bags masked a brewing storm. A single man, hauling supplies for his cousin’s celebration, expected a day of joy—until his cousin’s sharp tongue turned the festive air sour. Her pointed jabs about his childless life and “failures” stung like a wasp, prompting him to storm out, groceries in tow, leaving the party in disarray and the family group chat ablaze.

This tale of biting insults and bold exits dives into the messy heart of family ties. Was the man’s dramatic departure a justified clapback, or did he overreact to his cousin’s cruel words? Let’s unpack this baby shower bombshell and the feud it ignited.

‘AITA for Ditching my Cousin’s Baby Shower and Taking the Food Away from the Party?’

My cousin and her boyfriend (soon-to-be-married) were having their baby shower and the whole family was invited to the party. My mother and aunts love to cook so they wanted to gather the ingredients and make a huge dinner themselves.

I drove my car and my father drove his, and we basically pushed the shopping carts along and got our credit cards ready while the women shoveled everything they wanted into the carriages. We finally got everything to my cousin's place and we started off-loading my Dad's car first.

While I was inside, I got a chance to say hi to my cousin to congratulate her on her baby shower. The conversation started off light, but took a weird turn. She asked me how my parents raised me, and specific details like if they grounded me, what kinds of punishment they used, what I did when I was little and what regrets I had as a kid that I would change.

I thought they were trying to learn how to raise their child, but it was weird because I'm a single guy. They would've been better off asking my parents about these things. Here's where things get dark. I ask my cousin why she's asking me all this, and she says, 'I just want to raise my baby better than you,' That made no sense because I never raised any babies.

The vibe I got was definitely that it was an insult but on the off-chance she wasn't intentionally being rude, I just laughed it off and said, 'Well I'm no Bill Gates, or Steve Jobs, but I do alright for,' I assumed she meant that she wanted to raise her baby to be better than me, which is fine since parents want the world for their kids..

Nope, she just kept going. 'Well that's true. Did your parents ever think you'd turn out this way?'. I said, 'Well I think they just wanted me to be happy,'. Her, 'Are you?'. Me, 'Well I'm definitely happy for you, congratulations!' (I'm trying reaaaaaaally hard to steer things away from me).. Her, 'Thanks. Do you ever plan on having kids?'

Me, 'I just gotta find the right person, but until then I'm gonna enjoy life as is. There's no need to stress out wanting something else and taking what we have for granted.' Her, 'Sure... Well I'm younger than you and I already have a family. Don't wait too long... or else you might ending up dying alone,' I ask her directly what she meant.

She just laughs, shrugs, and leaves. I her again and she says, 'Don't get angry at me, you're the one who refuses to go out and meet people. If you bothered to leave your house every once in a while maybe you'd have a family of your own by now. I just don't want my baby to end up like you,' Everyone within earshot was dead-silent.

I just stared at her for who knows how long and she just ends up rubbing her belly and waddling away. I leave, taking my car home and halfway there, I realize half the groceries are still in my car. At this point, I could have driven back and dumped it on the porch buuuuuuuuuuuut I decided F**k It, s**ew her. I ignored all calls and texts, and just took a nap.

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UPDATE: My Dad heard the whole thing and told my mother about it, who was working in the kitchen. They both (politely) excused themselves afterwards and drove over to my place to talk about it. My Dad drove my half of the groceries to my cousin's place and then came back. There's now a massive feud on our family WhatsApp with two groups:

1) Family who are sticking up for me and telling other people to stop provoking me (mostly older relatives).. 2) People who are saying I'm an a**hole (mostly the younger generation).. ​

Family gatherings can turn into minefields when egos clash, and this baby shower was no exception. The cousin’s insults, framing OP’s single life as a cautionary tale, reek of projection and judgment.

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Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychologist, notes, “People often criticize others to deflect their own insecurities”. Pregnancy may amplify such behavior, but it’s no excuse for targeting OP, especially at her own celebration.

The cousin’s fixation on OP’s life choices reflects a broader societal pressure—70% of adults feel judged for not having children. OP’s grocery grab was petty but understandable, a reaction to public humiliation.

Whitbourne suggests de-escalating by addressing insults privately later. OP could mend ties by returning the groceries with a calm boundary-setting talk.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s comment section dished out a buffet of takes, from cheering OP’s exit to digging into his past posts for dirt. Here’s the community’s spicy scoop:

SantaPachaMama − NTA Your cousin is a n**ty piece of work. I feel sorry for the kid with that mom and her dammed attitude.

Binky390 − NTA Are you...are you serious? You help pick up stuff for her shower and she immediately turns it into a 'let's talk about where your parents went wrong with you' session? Whew. Family...

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bbbriz − NTA. You didn't drive off with the food purposefully to be n**ty, you drove off and didn't bother to go back to give the food. That makes a difference: you weren't revengeful.

Some pregnant women get real n**ty and self-important, thinking they are carrying baby Jesus. Like, you're not suddenly the sun of everyone's lives because you let someone c** in you, lady. Pregnancy is not a free pass to be n**ty.

roast-spud-life − NTA.... So badly not the ass hole, unless there's more to the story. That was beyond rude, even more so considering you were at the party for her and brought food.

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CassowaryCrow − After reading your last post YTA. There's clearly more information than given here that you have left out (purposefully or not) which makes hard to give a proper judgement on other members of your family,

but two episodes in under a week leads me to believe that there is more going on with you. I'm sure your cousin's comments were related to what happened with your niece, and I wouldn't be surprised if there was something else that spurred her comments too.

[Reddit User] − YTA because you conveniently left out that you’ve had outbursts in the past (based on your other post). I think you might have a problem with seeing your flaws or taking criticism. It also sounds like you’re an adult baby that can’t grow up.

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Yea, your cousin was a jerk with how she worded everything. But, judging by your other post, it seems everyone is over your s**t.. Everyone saying you’re NTA should read OP’s other AITA post.

gendouk − INFO: Did you throw your chopsticks at your cousin?

russianspyinwesteros − YTA. All of the people voting “NTA” should look at OP’s post history. OP pretty much explained why his cousin would ask him these questions in his last AITA post

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toufertoufer − INFO. Why have you had 2 posts in 4 days and not replied to any comments?

DocGrammercy12 − NTA. If she’s going to insult you, you have zero obligation to give her free s**t and attend her stupid party. Getting knocked up doesn’t mean her life is going any better than yours and she’s an i**ot if she thinks otherwise.

These Redditors brought the heat, but do their judgments miss the full picture? This baby shower saga’s got everyone stirred up.

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This baby shower blowup proves family love can come with sharp edges. The man’s exit, groceries and all, was a bold stand against his cousin’s venom, but it fanned the flames of a family feud. Navigating insults is tricky, especially when pride’s on the line. Would you have walked out like he did, or tried to keep the peace? Drop your thoughts and stories below—let’s keep this family drama chat rolling!

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