AITA for ‘distorting’ the name?

In a bustling office where coffee cups clink and keyboards hum, Karina found herself tangled in a peculiar workplace spat. Her coworker Jacob, with a smirk or perhaps a lapse in memory, kept calling her “Karen” despite her gentle corrections. The sting wasn’t just in the misnomer—it was the shadow of the “Karen” stereotype, that snarky label for entitled complainers, hovering over every misstep. Frustrated, Karina flipped the script, dubbing him “Yakov” in her native tongue’s twist on Jacob. What seemed like playful retaliation spiraled when Jacob stormed to HR, claiming hostility.

This tale of names and nuances tugs at a universal nerve: the quiet power of being called who you are. Karina’s story, simmering with workplace tension, invites us to ponder respect, intent, and the fine line between jest and jab. How far is too far when standing up for yourself?

‘AITA for ‘distorting’ the name?’

My name is Karina but a coworker of mine keeps calling me Karen and even though I corrected him multiple times, he doesn’t fix it. I don’t know if he sincerely forgets or does that on purpose. His name is Jacob, so I started calling him Yakov (pronounced as ia-kov) as that’s the version of Jacob in my language (I’m not british, Jacob is).

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Then he started huffing and puffing and finally complained to HR about me being purposefully hostile towards him. I mean... my name in its original form is not super difficult and it’s not extremely different from English form to not be able to remember ‘oh in her case it’s actually this’ whenever ‘Karen’ pops up in his mind, especially after third of fourth time of being corrected. So... AITA?

Names are more than labels—they’re tied to identity and respect. Karina’s clash with Jacob highlights a workplace power dynamic that’s all too common. According to Dr. Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist, “Misnaming someone repeatedly, especially after corrections, can signal disrespect or even subtle aggression” . Jacob’s insistence on “Karen” might carry the weight of a cultural jab, given the term’s loaded stereotype, while Karina’s “Yakov” retort flips the script, exposing his sensitivity to the same treatment.

This isn’t just about pronunciation—it’s about intent. Jacob’s refusal to adapt suggests either carelessness or a deliberate slight, both of which erode workplace trust. A 2021 study from the Society for Human Resource Management found that 76% of employees feel disrespected when their names are consistently mispronounced . Karina’s frustration is valid; her response, while petty, mirrors his behavior to make a point.

Dr. Cuddy advises addressing such conflicts directly but calmly: “Call out the behavior in private, focusing on its impact.” Karina could approach Jacob or HR with a clear, unemotional account of how his actions create a hostile environment. This approach maintains professionalism while demanding accountability.

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For resolution, Karina might request mediation or a formal reminder of workplace respect policies. Documenting incidents and seeking HR support can ensure her voice is heard without escalating the drama. Respecting names is a baseline for civility—both parties need to step up.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew dove into Karina’s saga with a mix of cheers and sly grins, dishing out opinions like a lively pub debate. Their takes range from fist-bumping her petty genius to side-eyeing Jacob’s HR sprint. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

KnightsSkye − NTA report him back

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PurpleJager − NTA. Karina is an easy name to remember and pronounce so your not the AH for treating him as he does you.. HR involved? Imagine they rolled their eyes at something so petty.

Stuckinacrazyjob − I don't get why he can't say your name. It's Kah reen ah right? And he's HEARD it. NTA

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Mollycule83 − NTA he's antagonizing you on purpose and his little complaint will hopefully back fire.

GothPenguin − He gets to bully you by purposely using the wrong name but goes crying to the nearest grown up (HR in this case) when you stand up for yourself? NTA.

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RustyUK333 − NTA, Its not hard to learn something new, and it really is the bare minimum level of respect you could show someone to say their name correctly. I've worked with many Polish, Romanian, Hungarian and Russian people over the years, and I always make an effort to learn to spell and pronounce their names correctly.. Its really the bare minimum.

skike − NTA. If it bothers him so much maybe it's time for some introspection.

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WyvernsRest − I struggle with one of my colleagues names Máire, saying Ma-ree when it should be pronounced Moira (Irish Name) This happens occasionally and I feel really bad about it. Your co worker is an a**hole, he is deliberately mispronunciation your name for it’s links to the Karen stereotype creating a hostile work environment..

Your reaction is beautifully petty. Report him to Both your manager HR, be specific and unemotional about this, flag his behaviours and their impact on you, request that action is taken to provide a safe and non-hostile work environment for you.

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noXXallowed − NTA. It sounds like he is calling you Karen on purpose yet he gets offended when you mispronounce his name?? You know about that word aimed at women 'Karen' right? It started as one thing but ended up being a snarky way for a male to belittle any woman he doesn't like. Him calling you Karen all the time is deliberate.

CommentS3ction − In the US, calling someone a “Karen” is an insult. Is it possible this trend has made it overseas and he is doing that?

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These Redditors rallied behind Karina, calling out Jacob’s double standards or urging her to escalate to HR herself. But do their spicy takes capture the full picture, or are they just tossing fuel on the fire?

Karina’s tale is a reminder that small slights, like a mispronounced name, can carry big weight. Her Yakov jab was a clever mirror, but Jacob’s HR complaint shows how quickly things escalate when respect falters. In workplaces buzzing with diverse voices, getting names right is a simple yet profound act of acknowledgment. What would you do if a coworker kept twisting your name despite corrections? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s unpack this office drama together!

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