AITA for disabling my bf’s access to my peleton account when he wasn’t talking to me?

In a quiet apartment, the glow of a movie flickers, but the real drama unfolds when a sleepy slip-up sparks a five-day silence. A Reddit user, trying to support their boyfriend through a tough year, faces his wrath for dozing during a documentary. His response? Ghosting her while still sweating it out on her Peloton account. The sting of being ignored, paired with his continued use of her generosity, pushes her to draw a line. It’s a tale of love tested by silence and boundaries.

This story hits hard—readers feel the frustration of giving endlessly only to be met with a cold shoulder. It’s not just about a workout app; it’s about respect, communication, and knowing when to walk away. With a breakup update sealing the saga, this Reddit post lights up the messy truth of relationships. Let’s dive into the sweat and tears.

‘AITA for disabling my bf’s access to my peleton account when he wasn’t talking to me?’

So my boyfriend has had a rough 2020 because he loves to travel and he got laid off from his job at a very big commercial airline that allowed him to travel the world for free. Learning his uncle was diagnosed with cancer in December just added insult to the injury.

He went into a pretty deep depression and gained a considerable amount of weight and I've tried to be supportive by letting him use all of my memberships for free so he can save money while he looks for a job, have been cooking healthy meals, and I gave him access to my Peleton account so he could do his own work-outs from home while I am at work.

We got into a really big argument last week because I fell asleep during a movie. This is his pet peeve, and there have been times in the past where he has stormed out of my place because I have fallen asleep during movies or shows he's suggested.

When we were in therapy at one point, he said when I fall asleep it makes him feel like I'm disengaged, and I totally respected that and promised I would inform him when I was either too tired to watch something, or was getting sleepy while we were watching something.

Last weekend, he suggested we watch a documentary and 15 minutes into the documentary, he asked me if I was falling asleep and I said I was getting sleepy, but I wasn't sleeping. Two minutes later, he insisted that I was sleeping.

He said he could hear me breathing loudly, and when I denied it, he accused me of lying about falling asleep. He said the problem wasn't that I was sleeping, it was that I was lying about it. I told him I was tired and did not want to deal with this tantrums and we called it night.

When I texted him the following morning, I didn't hear back so I started to get worried. I saw that he had accessed my Peleton account less than an hour before and figured maybe he is still upset and he's just needs space. But he didn't call or text me back that day for five days and continued to use my account each of those five days.

When I still haven't heard a word from him after 5 days, I disabled his access to my account. He accused me of being emotionally abusive when I did that. According to him, I should have known he is not in a good place right now and might need space.

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He claimed to be doing some 14-day mind/body/meditation challenge that I interfered with. I felt bad, but I told him he could have communicated that to me, but since he chose to ghost me instead, I had no way of knowing. AITA?. --

Update: He came over tonight to talk and I broke things off. The first words out of his mouth were, 'What do you have to say for yourself?' We didn't end up talking for long. I asked for my key back and I hugged him politely at the end (this was nothing like our first break up where I was bawling my eyes out).

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He sent his roommate over to my place immediately after we talked to return most of my belongings (which I didn't ask for), but among them: a sentimental portrait of us, a blender, a scrunchy, and one beat up Nike sandal.

He told his roommate to relay the message that once he found the other sandal, he would send that too. I told his roommate not to even bother, he can throw it away.. Thank you savage internet strangers for the harsh wake up call today. FTS. I'm done.

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Relationships thrive on communication, but this couple’s movie-night meltdown reveals a chasm of unmet needs. The boyfriend’s ghosting, while using his partner’s Peloton account, smacks of entitlement, especially given her support during his struggles. Her decision to disable access wasn’t spite—it was a boundary born of frustration. His accusation of “emotional abuse” flips the script, a tactic often used to deflect accountability.

About 1 in 4 people experience the silent treatment in relationships, which can erode trust and mental health. The boyfriend’s reaction to her sleepiness—rooted in past therapy discussions—suggests deeper control issues, not just a pet peeve.

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Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Stonewalling, like ghosting, shuts down connection and escalates conflict”. Here, the boyfriend’s silence, paired with his continued use of her resources, undermines mutual respect. Dr. Gottman’s insight shows the user’s action was a valid response to being ignored. Moving forward, clear communication—like texting to check in or discussing needs openly—could’ve prevented escalation. For readers, setting boundaries early, as the user did by breaking up, is key.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit brought the heat on this one, serving up a mix of sass and solidarity. Here’s the raw scoop from the community—unfiltered and ready to roast.

rapt2right - NTA. If he needed to go silent for a period of time, it was his responsibility to communicate that. He can't just shut down and expect you to intuitively know what is going on.. It's also weird to get *that* upset about you getting sleepy.

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MollyRolls - NTA, but he sounds horrible. Him controlling your sleep habits and making them all about him is the first red flag; you could’ve dumped him right there and no one would have been mad. As for the current predicament: ghosting and the silent treatment are emotional abuse.

Maybe your response was a little passive-aggressive, but I like it. You had a way of knowing for sure that he was alive and well, and he was therefore just choosing not to contact you. It’s not your responsibility to guess how long that’s going to last

and keep the flame burning until he’s ready to magnanimously forgive you (for nothing. you did nothing). It’s okay to just say “Fine; your loss” and cut him the rest of the way out of your life, and that’s a process you started with the Peloton account.. Now finish it with literally everything else.

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Cocoasneeze - NTA. So let me get this straight, the dude gets angry if you fall asleep during movies or TV shows, because it makes him feel like you're disingaged. He got angry because you were 'breathing heavily' and lied about falling asleep.

Then he ghosted you for 5 days, but continued to use your peleton account. SO WHAT HE DID WAS NOT DISENGAGING?!? And he had the nerve to throw in the 'emotionally abusive' because you cancelled his access to your account!

DeathGP - NTA- Girl bloody run, he's literially angry cause you fall asleep. Hell he even accused you falling asleep when you didn't, them some red flags he's holding.

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LittelFoxicorn - NTA,. He is the abusive one. Picking fights, trowing tantrums, silent treatments.... Leave his ass

[Reddit User] - NTA. You two should break up. The fact that he decided to ghost you, yet still expects you to (instinctively, I guess?) know how he feels is absurd, and also a red flag. You're in therapy but it doesn't sound like he's doing a very good job about keeping the communication lines open.

Also, I get that falling asleep during a movie sucks, but you work and he doesn't. Perhaps he should be a bit more understanding. I think it's time to end things with him, he sounds like a manipulative jerk.

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FineCauliflower - NTA. Not speaking to you several days was the emotional abuse - not you cutting him out of YOUR Peloton account. hope that you’re considering ending it with this guy. He sounds very manipulative and narcissistic.

SignificantWhereas29 - NTA- angry at someone because they fall asleep? What the HELL! He’d love me, I have narcolepsy 😂😂 seriously though, he ignores you for five days and gives you no warning? There is no excuse for that, it takes seconds to send a text

What_the_froot_Loops - So let me get this straight, YOU are emotionally abusive by disabling the account but he's NOT emotionally abusive for refusing to let you know he needed time / space and ghosted you for 5 days?. Sorry nope..NTA for me..... but childish? Yes I think so.

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FoolMe1nceShameOnU - NTA. who gets angry at someone for falling asleep? It's literally an involuntary bodily reaction. You have no control over it. And if he's upset about you 'lying about it' maybe he should consider that his previous anger

and holding you to unreasonable standards has literally made you feel unsafe/uncomfortable being honest with him because you know he'll react with anger about something you have no control over. You disabled his access to something, not as a punishment, but to prompt communication from someone who had no problem benefiting from the luxuries you provide,

but wouldn't even communicate with you in a basic, respectful way as your partner. He treated you horribly and yet continued to expect you to provide things for him. None of that is okay. You didn't punish him, you set a boundary. Good for you!! You are certainly NTA.

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These Reddit takes are fierce, but do they capture the full weight of navigating a partner’s emotional withdrawal?

This Reddit drama leaves us asking: when does support become a one-way street? The user’s choice to cut off Peloton access, followed by a breakup, shines a light on the power of boundaries. Relationships shouldn’t feel like a solo workout. What would you do if your partner ghosted you but kept using your resources? Drop your stories below—have you ever had to draw a hard line? Let’s keep the convo spinning.

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