AITA for directly calling out a woman’s snobbish behavior, causing several people to leave our knitting group?

In a cozy virtual knitting circle, where needles click and yarn unravels, one leader found herself tangled in drama. The group, a haven for crafters, was meant to be a warm, inclusive space—until a clique of yarn snobs unraveled the vibe. Their subtle jabs at a newbie’s acrylic yarn sparked a showdown, leaving the leader questioning her stance. Was she right to call out their elitist antics, or did she knit herself into a corner?

This story, plucked from Reddit’s AITA thread, dives into the surprisingly heated world of crafting cliques. With emotions as colorful as a skein of hand-dyed wool, it’s a tale of standing up for kindness and facing the fallout. Readers, grab your needles—this one’s a stitch worth unraveling!

‘AITA for directly calling out a woman’s snobbish behavior, causing several people to leave our knitting group?’

So one thing I can’t stand is snobby people who act like the only way to do things is their way. It’s a huge thing in crafting groups. People act high and mighty because of how they learned, the yarn they use, knitting being better than crocheting, etc etc. I hated the energy in a lot of existing groups, so I started my own.

We switched to virtual stuff since Covid started, and I have rules that you have to agree to follow before you can join. One of the rules is to be kind to others, and absolutely NO “s**b” behavior. Everything has been going great, except this pre-existing group of friends joined, and they really push the boundaries of the aforementioned rule.

They started dipping their toe with comments about acrylic yarn and how they would NEVER use it, with dramatic “icky!” faces. Well, they did this again when a new girl joined the group. She was using an acrylic yarn in her project, one of the women asked her what she was using, and then the little clique acted like they weren’t directly remarking while obviously doing it?

(This is kind of hard to explain but if you’ve EVER had to deal with mean girls, you know what I’m talking about) It was like “I just don’t understand how people are STILL using acrylic yarn these days, I mean there are SO many other options… unless you’re still shopping at big box stores instead of indies.”

In the middle of that rant I was just like ‘Hey guys, let’s remember that we’re not here to judge anyone for what they’re using or how they’re using it, okay?” Well this pissed off the group, because they started arguing with me about how “Nobody was judging anyone” and “Oh so I can’t even have an opinion now?” and “Why are you trying to censor us?

We’re having a conversation. If someone doesn’t like it, they can leave.” I muted everyone and said something like “The rules for this group are very clear, and you have to acknowledge them before you join the call. If there’s an issue, we can talk about it after.”

The women all ended up leaving the group, and I got a bunch of n**ty emails and tags on a few social media posts “calling me out” for being “pro-censorship” and “a tyrant” and saying how I shouldn’t be in charge of anything because of how “obviously biased” I am.

I don’t think I’m in the wrong for this. My rules exist to make things welcoming for others. Sitting around putting down other people does NOT feel like it’s very welcoming, especially for snobby crap like they were doing.. AITA?

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Crafting groups should be a sanctuary, but snobby behavior can unravel even the tightest-knit communities. The original poster (OP) faced a classic group dynamic issue: a clique prioritizing status over inclusivity. Their veiled digs at acrylic yarn weren’t just about materials—they signaled a deeper judgment, alienating a newcomer. According to Psychology Today, cliques often form to assert social dominance, creating in-groups and out-groups that can stifle creativity.

Dr. Susan Whitbourne, a social psychology expert, notes, “Cliques thrive on exclusion, using subtle cues to maintain their status” . Here, the clique’s “icky” faces and comments about “big box stores” were textbook passive-aggression, designed to shame without direct confrontation. The OP’s response—calmly enforcing group rules—was a masterclass in moderation, though it sparked backlash from those unaccustomed to being challenged.

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This situation reflects a broader issue: crafting communities, often seen as wholesome, can harbor elitism. A 2021 study from the Craft Industry Alliance found that 68% of crafters felt judged for using affordable materials, highlighting how material snobbery can exclude newcomers. The OP’s rules aimed to counter this, fostering a space where creativity trumps status.

For solutions, experts suggest clear communication and firm boundaries. Dr. Whitbourne advises group leaders to “model inclusivity and redirect negative behaviors early.” The OP did just that, muting the call to reinforce her rules. Moving forward, she could offer a private discussion to clarify expectations, ensuring the group remains a safe space.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a lively mix of support and sass for the OP’s bold move. From calling out “mean girl” vibes to cheering her rule enforcement, the comments were a colorful yarn of opinions. Here’s the unfiltered take from the crowd:

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your group; your rules. They want a 'traditional materials only' knitting circle, they can start their own. Besides, why is it okay for them to say whatever they want, but not for people to use whatever they want?

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JewelledBox − I'm a knitter with a personal aversion to acrylic yarn, and I strongly feel you're NTA. It's a bummer when mean-spirited people barge into what is supposed to be a welcoming and wholesome space. People who don't like acrylic yarn shouldn't use acrylic yarn, and that's the end of it;

there's no reason to subtweet someone else in the group minding their own business for having a different preference. If nothing else, the last few years have taught us that functioning civil online spaces absolutely *require* proactive, reasonable moderation to flourish.

Shadow-Spark − NTA. I'm a crocheter and yarn snobs are *the absolute f**king worst*. I don't give a s**t if somebody else only uses yarn made from the naturally shed ass hairs of freerange sasquatches, so leave me alone about using acrylic. I know *exactly* the kind of comments you're talking about because I've seen them before on certain yarncraft sites which shall remain unnamed but start with an R.

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'Gosh, you know acrylic never quite looks as good as natural fiber, but if that's all you have to work with...' They were being snobby and they knew it, they're just upset they were called out for their mean girl b**lshit. There's a difference between 'Well, I personally don't really like acrylic and probably wouldn't use it',

and 'OMG I have no idea why *anybody* is still using that trash'. It's your group, you get to enforce the rules as you see fit, and they can either follow them or find another group where they're free to s**t on acrylic and its users all day, as they seem to want to.

FrescoInkwash − NTA you are obviously biased. Biased against classist middle school mean girls! So you have my thanks for enforcing your own group rules, too many people who run these groups are too timid for the job and it ends up pushing new and thrifty crafters away

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sighcantthinkofaname − NTA, they were bullying. I'm a knitter myself, and yeah anyone who thinks acrylic should never be used is just a s**b. I rarely use it myself, but I respect the fact it's durable, easy to find and inexpensive. But that's typically why people bad mouth it.

They think that because their yarn is harder to find and more expensive that makes their finished projects automatically better. Not true at all. If they want to shame acrylic they can join another group. Crafting is very personal, and shaming others for their materials is never ok.

michvnguy − NTA, not everyone can afford a $30 skein of indie dyed yarn. Especially if that project needs multiple skeins.

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magicbeen − NTA at all, and THANK YOU.

bowtiebrigade − NTA - if you’re in charge of the group, you have free realm to include/exclude whom ever you want. If you felt what they were doing was breaking your rules, gave them a fair warning, and then they willingly left, you did the right thing. Nothing makes someone drop a hobby faster than being criticized nonstop by other people in the hobby.

JLLsat − NTA. There are no First Amendment rights here and I can’t imagine how awful that new girl must have felt. Good for you for sticking up for her.

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Kpz93 − NTA. Your group, your rules. You weren't rude when telling them to stop. If they don't like it, they should go start their own group and be negative people on their own.

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, slamming the clique’s elitism while praising her stand for inclusivity. But do their fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the drama?

This knitting group saga shows how quickly a cozy hobby can turn into a battleground over status and inclusion. The OP’s stand for kindness over snobbery cost her a few members but preserved her group’s heart. Crafting should lift everyone up, not tear them down over yarn choices. What would you do if you faced a clique in your hobby group? Share your stories and opinions below—let’s keep the conversation as vibrant as a fresh skein!

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