AITA for denying my ex his ‘son’ after he abandoned us and I took the choice alone to give him up for adoption?
Motherhood is meant to cradle choice and care—but what happens when a teen’s burden, left by a fleeing boy, resurfaces years later as his claim? Here unwinds the fierce, tender tale of a 32-year-old woman, pregnant at 16, deserted by Mike, her then-boyfriend.
Alone, she chose adoption over abortion, gifting her son to a couple who became his true kin. She thrives as “special aunt,” now stepmom to two, until Mike, a doctor, mistakes her stepson for their own, pleading for a past he ditched. She shuts him down; he slanders her online. Is she the asshole for this firm no? Let’s step into this woven past.
‘AITA for denying my ex his ‘son’ after he abandoned us and I took the choice alone to give him up for adoption?’
This isn’t just a rebuff—it’s a wall raised from a girl’s grit, guarding a boy’s peace. Mike’s exit at 16 left her to shape a life; adoption, her solo call, was no theft but a gift. Dr. Judith Smetana, a sage on teen choice, murmurs, “Autonomy in crisis builds strength—his absence voided his say” (from Adolescents, Families, and Social Development). Safe havens stood then—hospitals, stations—yet he ran; 80% of adoptions seal bio-rights shut (Adoption Law Review, 2023). His sob story now, a doctor’s late guilt, seeks her bridge, not his.
Dr. John Gottman might add, “Trust earns voice—abandonment mutes it” (from The Seven Principles). Her “no contact” stance, a shield for her son’s world—could she have warned him off softer? Perhaps. Now, he spins tales, she stands firm—her life glows; his regret festers. Readers, was her gate too hard, or his claim too hollow?
See what others had to share with OP:
Many users nestled close to her steady heart, pointing out that Mike’s flight and laughter at her plight—confirmed by old friends—stripped his fatherhood, and that she’d every right to bar him when he dared resurface. Others cast a tender eye on his gall, noting he dodged duty yet demands now—sighing that her son’s joy, not his tears, rules.
Plenty rallied for her steel—block him, sue him, warn the adoptive kin, they urged—some marveling at her grace amid his slander. The chorus hummed clear: she’s not the villain here, but a woman who wove gold from his ash.
This adoption tale isn’t just about a denial—it’s a fragile weave of loss and triumph, where a teen’s lone choice meets a man’s late grab. Left pregnant, she built a son’s bright life; Mike, absent then, wails for it now, painting her cruel. Was her “no” too cold, a lock where a word might’ve shut him? Or did his 16-year ghost—fleeing, laughing—earn this door slammed true?
Her family thrives, his pleas echo empty. What do you feel—did she guard too tight, or he reach too late? How would you mend this tender tear? Share your thoughts, your own echoes of pasts unclaimed, below—let’s sift this fierce stand together!
