AITA for Demanding Payment for Items Ruined by a Child I was Supposed to Supervise?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A quiet afternoon turned chaotic for one lawyer when a favor for neighbors went awry. Picture a cozy apartment, Netflix humming in the background, and a ticking clock signaling an unmissable court hearing. The lawyer, expecting a quick babysitting stint, faced a whirlwind of broken lipsticks and scuffed heels, courtesy of an 11-year-old with a knack for mischief. What started as a simple agreement spiraled into a heated clash over responsibility and respect.

The lawyer’s frustration is palpable—who wouldn’t fume over ruined courtroom gear? Yet, the neighbors’ accusations of neglect flipped the script, leaving readers to wonder: where does the blame truly lie? This tale of broken promises and damaged goods dives into the messy dynamics of favors, parenting, and accountability, pulling us into a debate that’s as relatable as it is contentious.

‘AITA for Demanding Payment for Items Ruined by a Child I was Supposed to Supervise?’

A few days ago, my neighbors (Early 40s M and F) approached me and asked if I would be willing to watch their daughter (11-12) - Rhea- while they went to get vaccinated. I agreed. I made it clear to my neighbors that they would have to pick up Rhea before 1:30 p.m as I had a court hearing I couldn't miss the hearing under any circumstance (I am a lawyer).

They promised they would be back in time. At around 1:30 p.m they informed me that they would be late. It was too late to make any alternate arrangements so I fixed Rhea a quick lunch and told her to watch T.V. or Netflix (child-mode enabled) I finished up my hearing by around 3 and came out to see Rhea.

I found her in my bedroom trying on my heels, lipstick and other courtroom gear such as a black blazer and robe. The lipsticks were broken, the white shirts were stained and the heels were scuffed. I do not know how that girl managed to cause so much damage in the first place. I was angry but I did not see it fit to reprimand her.

Rhea's parents finally showed up around 3:30 p.m and took her home, I asked to have a word with any one of them. Her father stayed back and I told him about the items she ruined and that I expected him to repay the amount for cleaning/replacement after I show them the receipts. I expected him to apologize.

but instead, he blew up at me and accused me of leaving his young daughter alone and claimed that anything could have happened to her. He even threatened to file a case against me! I was taken aback, firstly, I would not have left her 'unsupervised' if him and his wife would have returned on time.

Secondly, I do not feel that 11 is an age where she is in danger if left alone. I told him to try his luck in court and stated that if he doesn't agree, I would send them a demand notice for the aforementioned costs.

Him and his wife have gotten the resident's association involved, and while some of them are on my side, others are saying I'm an AH for 'using the lawyer card' over something so tiny (the total cost of items ruined is well over 10,000 Rupees).. So, AITA?

EDIT: I am sorry I left out this crucial detail, I never actually left my home. I was attending the hearing virtually and was in a different room in the same house! The door was closed but unlocked, I told Rhea she could enter or call out my name if she needed anything.

Update: This morning Rhea's mother came to see me. She apologized for her daughter and her husband and said that they were late because Rhea's father thought it would be a good idea to not complete the mandatory registration for a vaccine and simply tried to walk in to a centre 🙄.

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She was terrified at the idea of going to Court and said she would try to get her husband to pay (she's a housewife, no independent income). I told her not to worry, I won't take the cost of the items and I wouldn't send any notice.

I also wouldn't be watching their child again. She understands and apologized once more, she bought some delicious food as well! She admitted that her husband spoils their daughter and she is also concerned, but she is silenced by her husband.

Navigating favors for friends or neighbors can feel like walking a tightrope. In this case, the lawyer’s agreement to babysit came with a clear deadline, which the parents ignored, leading to chaos. Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Clear communication of boundaries is essential in caregiving, even for short periods” (Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids). The lawyer set expectations, but the parents’ delay shifted the burden unfairly.

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The lawyer’s demand for compensation highlights a clash of perspectives: the parents saw neglect, while the lawyer saw broken trust. An 11-year-old, as child development studies suggest, should understand basic respect for others’ property (Child Development Institute). Rhea’s behavior points to inconsistent parenting, which the mother’s apology later confirmed. The lawyer’s virtual presence in the home further weakens the neglect claim—11 is old enough for brief self-supervision.

This situation reflects broader issues of accountability in community favors. A 2021 study from the American Psychological Association found that 68% of conflicts in informal caregiving stem from unclear expectations (APA). The lawyer’s solution—refusing future babysitting—is practical, preserving boundaries while avoiding escalation.

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit crew jumped into the fray with spicy takes, serving up support and a few raised eyebrows. Here’s what they had to say, raw and unfiltered:

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widefeetwelcome − NTA. They were late, and an 11 year old should definitely know better.

LadyCass79 − NTA. At 11 I was babysitting for brief times and earned money bussing tables. I don't understand this child behaving like a toddler, but perhaps she's delayed or poorly parented. While it may not be great to leave such a kid alone, you set an expectation about your availability. The parents *knew* you were only available until 1:30. THEY are the ones who left their kid without adult supervision for 1.5 hours.

desert_red_head − NTA. First off, you made it clear to your neighbors that Rhea needed to be picked up by 1:30 because you had to work, and they were two hours late. Next, the girl is 11. Age 11 is plenty old enough to know that you don’t enter rooms without permission and you stay out of other people’s stuff if you don’t have permission to use it.

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“I’m bored” is not an excuse for causing property damage. So, no, you are NTA, however I doubt that the parents are actually going to pay for your things. It sounds like behavior like this is common for Rhea and they just dismiss it.

aquara_themermaid − op maybe include in your post that you never left your house since court was virtual

AuntyErrma − Nta. The child was 11, not 4 or 5. More than old enough to know better.

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Small-Jellyfish-2591 − NTA. The lawyer card is part of being a lawyer when someone damages your stuff (and especially when they try act like a jerk and threaten baseless legal action first).

The parents broke your terms for agreeing to watch their kid and your stuff got damaged as a result, plus if you had skipped your hearing to keep watching the kid you could have gotten in trouble with the court and/or your client. I would demand they pay every cent they owe.

aquara_themermaid − NTA - you didn't leave your house, your hearing was virtual. 11 is old enough to self entertain with Netflix and not get in trouble for 2 hours.

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PaganWolfUK − NTA. at 11/12 they should be able to supervise themselves within reason. You were in the home. That girl went through your personal items and ruined some. You were clear with the parents that they had to be back by 1.30pm.

SuzanneStudies − My 11-year-old is appalled. He regularly supervises himself in the sitting room or his bedroom while I work in my home office. Also I’d have to be on fire or the only witness to a horrific crime for me to be two hours late collecting my child. NTA.

Disastrous-Current-6 − NTA. You're first clue should have been that they needed a babysitter for an 11 year old. That right that there screams they knew they have a child that requires more supervision than ordinary and they should have alerted you to it. If you have a kid that needs extra attention, you tell the people watching them.

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These Redditors rallied behind the lawyer, calling out the parents’ tardiness and Rhea’s mischief. Some questioned her upbringing, while others saw the lawyer’s legal threat as fair game. But do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the fire?

This story leaves us pondering the delicate balance of favors and accountability. The lawyer’s frustration over ruined items and the parents’ defensive accusations reveal how quickly trust can fray. By forgiving the costs, the lawyer showed grace, but their resolve to set boundaries resonates. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences—how do you handle broken promises or unexpected chaos when doing someone a favor?

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