AITA for deleting my moms Facebook posts?

Imagine scrolling through your mom’s Facebook, hunting for a cherished family photo, only to stumble across a post that rips your heart out: your private battle with anorexia, laid bare for 500 strangers to pity and pray over. For one young woman, this wasn’t just a breach of trust—it was a gut punch. She’d begged her mom to keep her mental health journey private, yet there it was, splashed online like a cry for social media clout. Furious and hurt, she logged in and deleted the posts. Was she wrong to take control, or was this a desperate stand for her dignity?

This Reddit tale dives into the messy intersection of family loyalty, personal boundaries, and the digital age. She’s fighting to reclaim her narrative while navigating a close but flawed relationship with her supportive, yet over-sharing, mom. The community’s divided—some cheer her on, others call it a step too far. Let’s unpack this emotional rollercoaster.

‘AITA for deleting my moms Facebook posts?’

Okay so to start this off, I’m currently in recovery from multiple mental illnesses including anorexia. So when I was first diagnosed I was pretty much immediately sent to a residential hospital for a few months and I EXPLICITLY told my mom that I didn’t want her telling people besides close family friends and relatives, and she agreed.

Fast forward to a couple months out of the hospital and I’m scrolling through my moms Facebook trying to find a specific family photo I was looking for when I see multiple posts along the lines of: Today we had to check our beautiful daughter into Veritas for treatment of her ED.

Please send prayers. (not those exact words but similar) This especially pissed me off because I’m not a religious person at all. Also, keep in mind that my mom is a complete social butterfly with over 500 Facebook friends, most of whom I’ve never met.

All I could think about was random people I’ve never met immediately defining me as my mental illness and feeling pity, and the one thing I can’t stand is people pitying me. My mom uses the same password for everything so I knew her Facebook login and immediately deleted the posts. She still hasn’t noticed.

Update: damn I didn’t expect this to get that many responses! Just to clarify my mom definitely didn’t have any ill-intent. We’re very close and while we have occasional disagreements such as this one, generally she’s very supportive. I definitely think we both made mistakes in this situation. Thank you all for your input!

Posting private struggles online without consent is like airing someone’s diary in a town square. This young woman’s mother, despite good intentions, crossed a line by sharing her daughter’s anorexia treatment with hundreds of Facebook friends. The daughter’s reaction—deleting the posts—stems from a need to protect her autonomy during a vulnerable recovery. As psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb explains, “Boundaries are about creating safety, especially when trust has been violated”. Here, the mother’s post ignored her daughter’s explicit wishes, risking her emotional safety.

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This situation highlights a broader issue: oversharing in the digital age. A 2022 Pew Research study found 59% of adults share personal details online, often without considering consequences. The mother’s post, likely seeking support, turned her daughter’s private struggle into public fodder, amplifying stigma. Gottlieb’s advice suggests open communication to rebuild trust. The daughter could explain her hurt and set firm boundaries, like requesting no future posts. Therapy might help them navigate this rift.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crew didn’t mince words, dishing out a mix of fiery support and cautious critique. Some called the mom’s post a shameless grab for attention, while others saw boundary issues on both sides. Here’s the tea straight from the source:

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Like_Yesterdays_Jam3 - NTA. But your mother sure is! That’s a gross violation of your privacy, and incredibly insensitive. Your mental health problems are not a means for her to get likes and sympathy votes.. Also I wish you every success with your recovery.

[Reddit User] - NTA. You explicitly told your mom to not post that s**t on Facebook and she did anyway. You good fam. Edit: for all those saying that she should have asked her mom to take it down, she asked her mom not to tell anyone about it in the first place and look how that turned out.

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abby1kimono - NTA. Your mom should have respected your wishes. Especially for something like this. My daughter was anorexic and I didn't tell anyone except for people who had to know as I didn't want to take the chance of a friend/family member/stranger triggering her.

star_guardian_carol - NTA - I would have spoken with her about it first and had her delete them but I completely understand where you are coming from. My mother also enjoys posting family things on FB for whatever reason. It's how I found out my grandfather was on his death bed and my grandmother on the other side needed a surgery.

It's absolutely ridiculous that people feel the need to out these things on FB. Ultimately, you asked her not to and she did. Probably shouldn't have logged into her account but I don't blame you for doing it considering what you are also going through.. Good for you getting help by the way!

DClawdude - ESH. She should have respected your wishes, but you shouldn't be deleting stuff from HER account. Boundary issues all around.

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[Reddit User] - NTA. Your mother, and people like her who post that kind of s**t to facebook are huge assholes. It's childish and stupid. You know that the only reason she posted it is for some kind of rush from all the comments/ well wishes. The post was never made in concern for you, it was all about her.

People who pull that kind of crap are trash. She had no right to post about that kind of private medical issue, especially when you specifically asked her not to. You were well within your right to remove it using whatever means necessary.

shroomley - ESH. Your mother did a s**tty thing by going against your wishes, but it doesn't give you the right to hack into her account. That being said... I understand where you're coming from, and honestly would have done the same thing myself. Justified a**hole more than anything.

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CaptainCurly95 - NTA you told her not to do it and she did it anyway. Clearly she only made that post for attention and didn't care about your wishes.

Justthis1X - NTA. As a person of faith (not religious), I understand wanting prayers and/or support for you and herself. But she could’ve asked for that without divulging your personal details (to 500 people you may not know). I have a lot of friends who post that they have unspoken prayer requests. I don’t prod for details, I pray for them, and I move on.

She went waaaay too far and that seems like attention seeking behavior. I’m glad you’re looking into therapy. I know you say she’s a great mom, but I wouldn’t be surprised if therapy revealed other boundary stomping or controlling behaviors that you just didn’t recognize as unhealthy or inappropriate.. I wish you health and happiness in all aspects of your life, OP.

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Astro4545 - ESH she's the bigger a**hole obviously, but you shouldn't be going into her stuff. I'd say you were a justified ahole.

These takes are bold, but do they miss the nuance of a mother-daughter bond? Can social media ever be a safe space for such personal disclosures?

This story isn’t just about a deleted post—it’s about a daughter fighting to own her story in a world that loves to overshare. Her mom’s heart may have been in the right place, but good intentions don’t erase betrayal. As they mend this fracture, the question lingers: where’s the line between support and exposure? Have you ever faced a loved one spilling your secrets online? What would you do to reclaim your privacy? Drop your thoughts below—let’s talk boundaries in the digital age.

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