AITA for deciding to have two weddings?

Imagine a bride-to-be, her heart split between two worlds—one vibrant with Indian spices and Hindu rituals, the other echoing with German hymns and Christian vows. This 25-year-old woman and her German fiancé dreamed up a perfect plan: two weddings, one in India and one in Germany, to weave their cultures together and let both families cheer them on. It’s a love story that spans continents, promising joy for all.

But drama crashed the party when her mother, shocked by the idea of a public kiss in a Christian ceremony, demanded a single wedding in India. Calling her daughter selfish and extravagant, she’s thrown a wrench into the couple’s plans. Now, the bride faces a tug-of-war between family loyalty and her vision of love. Can she honor both her heritage and her fiancé’s without losing her cool?

‘AITA for deciding to have two weddings?’

My fiance (27M) and I(25F) are about to marry by the end of this month. I am Indian and Hindu by religion and he is German and Christian. I had already planned everything with my fiance about this, that we will have two ceremonies, one according to his faith and one according to mine (basically what Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra did haha).

Our respective parents were also okay with it. The reason for this arrangement was not just because of religion, but because our families live in different countries and I wanted everyone to get a chance to see us tie the knot. Basically I was planning to do the ceremony according to my faith in India since my extended family can't join us in Germany.

Our respective parents were supposed to join us in both ceremonies though.. Well apparently my mother did not know how Christian weddings are held, specifically the kissing in public part. One of my siblings must have told her and now she's refusing to be a part of the celebration in Germany and is insisting that I cancel the ticket.

She thinks it's obscene and beneath our culture to get married like that. She is further pressing us to have our marriage in India only by saying that it's excessive to get married twice. Which means my fiance's extended family and friends won't be able to join us.

She keeps calling me selfish and extravagant and is accusing me of showing off my salary to her relatives (who never liked me anyway and constantly kept critisizing everything I did). My fiance wants to compromise with her but I've honestly have had enough.. AITA if I decide to go with two weddings anyway?

This bride’s double-wedding plan is a beautiful nod to love across cultures, but her mother’s objections highlight how tradition can clash with modern romance. The OP’s desire to include both families is practical and heartfelt, yet her mother’s discomfort with a Christian kiss—seen as “obscene”—reveals a deeper cultural divide. Her accusations of extravagance smack of guilt-tripping, putting the OP in a tough spot.

Intercultural marriages often navigate such tensions. A 2023 Pew Research study found 31% of U.S. marriages involve partners from different cultural backgrounds, with family acceptance being a key challenge (source). The OP’s mother may fear losing cultural control, but her push for a single wedding dismisses the fiancé’s heritage, which is unfair.

Dr. Falguni Patel, a cross-cultural psychologist, notes, “Successful intercultural unions require mutual respect for each partner’s traditions” (source). The OP’s firm stance honors this balance. Her fiancé’s willingness to compromise is admirable, but conceding to her mother risks resentment.

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The OP should calmly explain her vision, emphasizing inclusion, and invite her mother to the Germany ceremony without pressure. Showing her videos of tasteful Christian weddings might ease her fears. Couples counseling can help align the OP and her fiancé.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit posse rolled in with fist bumps and no-nonsense advice, ready to back the OP’s double-wedding dream. It’s like a global cheer squad, dishing out support with a side of shade for her mom’s meltdown. Here’s the crowd’s unfiltered vibe:

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Egmonks − NTA and if she doesn’t want to come then dont make her.

[Reddit User] − NTA- I’d tell your mom this is in NO WAY about her, at all, in any form or fashion. I’d then tell her “I love you mom but this is about my husband & me & if you don’t want to be a part of it, it will break my heart but I’m not going to force you”

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Kissing your husband in front of close family & friends isn’t obscene. It’s intimate & romantic & a special moment for you to have at your wedding. Plus, if you have the money to spend, spend it. Your mom is the one who is being selfish trying to make this about her & what she wants & not you & your fiancé.

Mazza1983 − NTA wow are you sure your sibling explained properly? It doesnt have to be a drawn out kiss or anything but stand your ground. Your wedding your choice. Mum needs to understand that you are marrying into a different culture and both cultures are important and should be respected in a relationship.

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This is a two way street. Anyway don’t engage with your mum. Just tell her both weddings will be going ahead and her presence will be missed. I obviously dont know you but i have a sneaking suspicion she is calling your bluff and wont actually miss your second wedding.

DormantDormaus − NTA. Accept her cancellation of attending the Christian wedding, and that’s it. She has to accept that there are two people in the marriage, not just you, and both of you deserve to have a wedding that your family can attend and that is meaningful to you. If it’s something you can feasibly do, then by all means.

[Reddit User] − NTA. It’s your wedding, you do you. Congratulations and hopefully the two weddings will be just as fun :)

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arsong1rl − NTA. does your mom understand that how she feels about you having an Hindu wedding is most likely how your fiancé’s family feels about having a Christian wedding? having two weddings is a great way to honor both you and your fiancé’s heritage, and she should respect that.

[Reddit User] − Indian Hindu here , your mom will give up, hold your ground . Also find out the cousin who sabotaged your wedding and go no contact with him or her . I suggest you show few indo European wedding videos on YouTube to your mom ,she will feel better adjusted to kissing NTA.

SnooDoughnuts5269 − Exactly. NTA. Your reasoning makes so much sense and honestly fun! Do it! It’s your wedding! Whoever doesn’t like it doesn’t have to come!

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Your mother seems like a massive TA, but I‘m unable to comment on the cultural dimensions to this.. The two wedding solution sounds like a very good one, practically and culturally.

Wise_Possession − NTA. She doesn't get to demand that you just completely ignore the other person in a marriage that *she isn't a part of*. If she doesn't want to go to Germany, that's her choice, but she gets no say in decisions you make with your husband. ANd how freaking rude, to just completely disregard him like that.

These Redditors championed the OP’s plan, urging her to hold firm while calling out her mother’s overreach. Some suspect a sibling’s meddling, others bet Mom will cave. But do these takes nail the cultural nuance, or are they just hyping the drama?

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This tale of two weddings weaves a rich tapestry of love, culture, and family friction. The OP’s bold choice to honor both her Hindu roots and her fiancé’s Christian faith is a testament to compromise—until her mother’s objections threw a curveball. It’s a reminder that weddings aren’t just about the couple but the worlds they unite. How would you handle a family clash over your dream wedding? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep the love flowing.

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