AITA for cutting off my brother for publicizing that I haven’t had a vaccine?

In a quiet family home, a woman’s private medical choice sparks a public firestorm. Years ago, she skipped a vaccine, a decision she reaffirmed recently after consulting her doctor. But when her mother shares this with her brother, he misinterprets it and blasts her on social media, painting her as irresponsible and a risk to his kids.

Despite her pleas to remove the post, he doubles down, prompting her to cut ties—no more babysitting or support. Was her drastic step too harsh, or a fair response to betrayal? This drama, thick with misunderstanding and hurt, questions family loyalty and privacy.

‘AITA for cutting off my brother for publicizing that I haven’t had a vaccine?’

No, I am not an anti vaxxer. I've had all my vaccines except gardasil, which I opted out of when the doctor asked at 14 (because I was 14 and didn't want to be stuck with a needle). I didn't realize I was missing the vaccine until my doctor brought it up recently.

I've decided not to get it now that I'm older because I'm basically out of the window of effectiveness, I know I don't have HPV, and my husband has been vaccinated. I discussed this with my mom and she agreed with me. I guess she told my brother about it and didn't explain it fully, because he texted me and insisted I be fully vaccinated before I come around his kids.

I basically told him that gardasil won't make any difference in my relationship with his kids because I'm not doing anything with them that would spread HPV even if I had it. He decided after this to make a public facebook post about his 'anti vaxxer sister' and how noble he is by protecting his children from me.

I asked him to take it down but he refused unless I got the shots. I got pissed because I have done so much to support him and his kids over the last few years. I told him I'm done with him. No more baby sitting, no more gifts, no money lending, nothing. My mom told me I'm being too harsh. AITA?

This family feud is a bitter brew of misinformation and broken trust. The woman’s medical choice, made with professional advice, was her own to keep private. Her brother’s public post, misrepresenting her decision, crossed a line, turning a personal matter into a public attack. Their mother’s role in sharing the information only fueled the fire.

Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner notes, “Betraying trust by sharing private matters can fracture family bonds.” A 2021 Pew Research study found 35% of family conflicts involve breaches of privacy, highlighting the stakes here. The brother’s refusal to retract his post escalated the harm, justifying the woman’s response.

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This story underscores the importance of respecting personal choices. Open dialogue could have clarified the misunderstanding, while the brother needs to respect boundaries.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s reactions to this family drama are hotter than a summer scorcher. Here’s what they had to say:

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TinnyOctopus - NTA. As far as interactions with children go, you're fully vaccinated, and if he's expecting contact that could spread HPV, he's got bigger problems. Best case, he's an aggressive i**ot, at least in this situation.

ro_ti - NTA. Your brother is very ignorant. It only takes a Google search to know you are not harmful to his kids in any way due to not taking this vaccine. Does he have any underlying motivations for alienating you from his kids?

rgirl78 - NTA. Not getting a vaccine for a s**ually transmitted disease when you are in a monogamous relationship does not make you an anti-vaxxer.. Your brother posting your argument on FB is juvenile and petty.

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dollfaise - NTA. Your mom had no business sharing that information with your brother. Really, how the hell did that come up in conversation? That series of shots pertains to *your* s**ual health, what the f**k was she doing talking about it with him? Your brother absolutely had no business broadcasting that information online either.

He's being extremely petty and when you publicly accuse someone of being an 'anti-vaxxer' in this climate you're going scorched earth. So if anyone was harsh, it was him. And it sounds to me like he doesn't want you around his kids to begin with so what does it matter if you cut off babysitting services?

NotARobot-IPromise - NTA. Is he always like this? Because this seems like a *really* contrived grievance on his part.. (Obviously, you know this, but like... HPV is an s**ually-transmitted infection, not a platonic/familial hug-transmitted infection.) Also, I’m assuming that none of your nieces and nephews’ grandparents would’ve had the HPV shot either, as they would have been past the approved age bracket by the time the vaccine was approved.

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(Also, for what it’s worth, I’m in a similar boat - I’m an adult and I recently found out I technically have no immunity to hepatitis B, because I missed the first half of grade 7. I got one Hep B shot, but apparently, you needed three. I didn’t realize I’d missed a vaccine at the time, and I can’t get that vaccine now, because I’m on immunosuppressants.)

RmmThrowAway - For the record, Gardasil is always effective as long as you're not getting exposed to HPV while getting the right number of shots. The upper limit on age is because there's an assumption anyone past that point will have HPV or be extremely likely to get it before the vaccine works. and while your brother is a dickbiscuit for what he's doing, you should seriously consider getting the vaccine so that you don't get cancer.

FunFatale - NTA. You're not anti-vax for missing one (relatively new) vaccine. I got Gardasil right after it was released as I was about to go to college and my school recommended it along with the Meningococcal Vaccination that was required to live in the dorm. My brother didn't ever get it because it wasn't recommended for boys at the time, and that wouldn't happen till years later.

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Your brother is being a huge a**hole by not only coloring you an anti-vaxxer publicly but not backing down over a misunderstanding. Getting the shot now means it wont be effective and you'll more than likely have to pay out of pocket, which is stupid *since it's not effective anymore* Stick to your guns, and maybe even print research on the effectiveness of Gardasil post 25, and send it to him.

[Reddit User] - NTA obviously, does he expect you to *f**k* his kids or is he that willfully ignorant? I wouldnt want anything to do with him after that, especially conflating not having ONE newer vaccine for something s**ually transmittable to being 'antivax'. People are literally dying from that movement and he is playing victim for no reason.

jahnudvipa93 - NTA. Odd question, but why in the world would your mother feel a need to discuss this with him?

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ChaoticForkingGood - NTA, he is. There's unvaccinated, and then there's vaccinated except for one shot, which covers a problem you won't be giving to his kids anyway.

These takes hit hard, but do they fully capture the sting of family betrayal and privacy breaches?

This tale of a misleading post and a severed sibling bond exposes the raw pain of family mistrust. The woman’s decision to cut off her brother was a stand for her privacy, but his refusal to back down deepened the rift. Their mother’s gossip lit the fuse, leaving everyone burned. Have you ever faced a family member airing your private choices? Share your thoughts—what’s the line between protecting your peace and keeping family ties?

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