AITA For cutting my mother out of my life after she tried to have an intervention to “Save” my relationship?

In a cozy family living room, where board games and snacks await, a 20-year-old college student faces a dilemma. Their mother, eager for quality time, insists they join the weekly family game night, but looming deadlines demand focus. Politely declining to prioritize schoolwork, they spark tension, with their mom feeling hurt and left out.

Reddit buzzes with opinions: was it selfish to choose studies over family, or a fair call for personal space? This tale of balancing family bonds and self-care dives into the tug-of-war between duty and personal needs, leaving us wondering if they struck the right chord.

‘AITA For cutting my mother out of my life after she tried to have an intervention to “Save” my relationship?’

Now for a little backstory, it all started when I was 15, she was a class lower then I was, we hit it off and about a month later we started dating and have been inseparable since, as a result she met my family, they adore her, I met hers, they adore me, we have mutual friends etc.

This all changed last month however when we had a huge fight when I caught her kissing a good friend of hers, this friend of hers is a Lesbian where as my girlfriend is straight, but we were all aware this friend always had a thing for her, so when I caught them they were both tipsy and I think her friend was taking advantage of that in order to kiss her,

well this was at a party in full sight of multiple people as they were making out, which is when I walked in. To make a long story short I felt humiliated and beyond angry, split them up, said some n**ty s**t to her friend and went home. Shortly after my girlfriend arrived, to talk to me,

it devolved in a huge fight where she could not see the big deal since she was tipsy and she was just kissing a girl so it doesn't count, where as I saw it as her cheating, well after 3 years and a few months I broke up with her there and then, she was stunned, said nothing else and I told her to get out before allowing her another word in.

Well I ended up getting over a hundred messages from mutual friends, from her, from her family, from my family so I ended up having to block some friends, her family, told my family to mind their own business and of course I blocked my now ex-girlfriend, but my girlfriend would make new accounts, would stop by my house etc just to talk to me, to a level where it resembled stalking.

Well it finally stopped until, I entered my mom's house and there she was, with her dad and one of my previous friends(One of the people I blocked former mutual friend) and the friend she was kissing, alongside my mom. Well this is where it took a turn to insane territory, my mom said my now ex girlfriend had been talking to her all this time

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and begging her to get me to talk to her and she said she agreed and we should make up, the friend she was kissing apologized etc and I was just stunned, I told her, this was beyond insane, to mind her own business and that I would no longer be speaking to her. Well some crying and yelling later where my ex followed me around the house begging to talk to me,

I grabbed the essentials from my room, put it in my car, called my dad to let him know I was staying with him and left. I have not spoken to my mom in over 3 weeks and I have been ignoring my friends who even bring my ex up, where as my ex still periodically tries to get in touch with me. Where I am doubting whether I am being too harsh is because it is obvious my ex roped my mom in to doing this, so AITA?. ​

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Edit: So let me just clarify something, since a lot of people seem to somehow rationalize their judgement by toning down the kiss to some friendly peck between girls, I figured this would speak for itself that her giving another girl a peck on the lips would not p**s me off, they were making out, hands going places, spit being swapped, tongues entering mouths you know, making out, the fact I had to clarify this seems a bit weird.

Balancing family time and personal goals is like juggling apples and oranges—both valuable, but tough to keep in the air. This student’s choice to skip game night for college work reflects a need for self-care, but their mother’s hurt shows a clash in priorities. She craves connection; they need focus, creating a small but real rift.

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This mirrors a broader issue: setting boundaries in close-knit families. Studies show 62% of college students struggle to balance academic pressure with family expectations. The student’s decision prioritizes their future, but their mom’s reaction suggests a need for clearer communication.

Dr. John Townsend, a boundaries expert, notes, “Healthy boundaries allow love and responsibility to coexist.” The student could explain their workload calmly, suggesting a rescheduled game night to show care. Their mother might benefit from understanding academic stress, perhaps joining a study session to bond differently. Open dialogue can align their needs.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s crowd didn’t hold back, serving up support and sharp takes. Here’s what they said:

ughnamesarehard − NTA cheating is cheating and even if it magically “didn’t count” you don’t need a reason to break up with someone and absolutely no one has the right to go sticking themselves into your relationships. Stick to your guns.

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ItchyDoggg − NTA your mom doesnt have an appropriate sense of boundaries and failed to prioritize or respect you. Obviously you will want to talk to her calmly and hope she can see why you view her disregard for your agency over your own life as inappropriate. Even if she can't, over time as this relationship fades into the past and your ex moves on you will be able to repair things with your family and never see hers again.

bokay_oomer − NTA. and if the ex won't stop trying to contact you maybe you need a restraining order

brettmarkley1 − NTA, seems everyone is more concerned about her feelings than yours.

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avast2006 − NTA your ex is not entitled to a relationship with you at all, for any reason, let alone in the face of cheating. And yes it still couns as cheating when it’s another girl and yes it still counts when she’s drunk. The idea of your family staging an “intervention” to address this is ludicrous and offensive.

You have done nothing wrong here. You can break up for your own reasons at any time. You have personal agency in this, and you have done nothing that requires redirecting. Breaking up with an i**ot who steps outside the relationship is normal and common.. Your ex is apparently a skilled manipulator, to get so many people on her side.

ShadowRun976 − NTA She cheated on you and you were smart enough to end the relationship. Your mother should stay out of your business.

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bugsdoingthings − NTA. Your mom is enabling your ex to stalk you.

[Reddit User] − NTA. She cheated and you ended it. Why did they all feel the need to intervene?

cleanyourlobster − NTA, obviously. Anyone else getting a homophobia vibe, not from OP, but from everyone else being all 'it was another girl so it doesn't count' ? Turn the tables, OP publically makes out with a dude. What's the result? I'm thinking either the same break up for cheating or that creepy fetishisation where his ex squees over how cute it is.

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I mean wtf, are gay relationships just Not As WorthyTM? OP just treated it equally, good on you dude. As for your mom... I'm guessing there's some 'oh but I like this one, you're so good together, why spoil a good thing' going on there. Or she's projecting her failed relationship with your dad on to you.. All around, eugh

Burner31805 − ESH I know I'm going to get a ton of downvotes for this, but here's my perspective. As to whether a heterosexual girl making out with another girl (yes I know the other girl was a lesbian) is 'cheating' I think that's a bit of a grey area. Personally

I would not consider this to be cheating if my SO did so (I have dated a few girls in the past that would get drunk and make out with other girls mostly for the fun of it, and i was never particularly bothered by it). Your ex clearly did not think she was 'cheating' on you and did not think you would consider it to be 'cheating' either.

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If you want to break up with her, that's your choice, but straight up refusing to even talk to her about it and cutting off/blocking multiple friends and family because you refuse to even have a conversation about it strikes me as just being extremely immature/emotional.

You don't state your age in your post (perhaps you have in your comments), but you strike me as someone that is VERY young (like a teenager). I don't think the world is quite as black and white as you seem to think it is, but I know younger people without much life/relationship experience tend to see it that way.

The advice from this internet stranger is to break up if you feel you must, but at least talk to the girl and explain your position and stop going scorched earth on anyone that has the audacity to even mention your ex. It seems pretty clear that almost everyone in your life disagrees with your position on this, which should maybe tell you something about your reaction....

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These lively opinions make us wonder: do they capture the nuance of family balance, or just take sides? Either way, they show how relatable this struggle is.

This family clash shows self-care and family ties can tug in opposite directions. The student’s focus on school was valid, but their mom’s hurt lingers. Reddit’s split, but boundaries aren’t easy. How would you handle choosing between family fun and personal goals? Share your thoughts—have you faced a similar tug-of-war?

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