AITA for crying when my housemate ate my food?

The faint aroma of sesame oil and fried noodles lingers in a cramped apartment kitchen, a rare treat for a young mom scraping by on a tight budget. At 19, she’s juggling motherhood, bills, and the chaos of shared living, only to find her one small indulgence—a takeaway meal—swiped by her housemate. The sting of that loss, coupled with hunger and exhaustion, brought her to tears. This Reddit post, shared on the AITA forum, captures a moment of raw vulnerability that’s sparked heated debate.

The story resonates with anyone who’s ever felt their small joys snatched away. Redditors rallied behind her, slamming the housemate’s audacity and sparking a broader conversation about boundaries and respect in shared spaces. Let’s unpack her tale, dive into the community’s fiery takes, and explore what this says about living with others.

‘AITA for crying when my housemate ate my food?’

I'm 19f, I live with my two housemates, my daughter and my 22f, Julie, housemates newborn son. It's pretty hectic all of the time but it's also pretty okay. I'm considered low income. I'm essentially living paycheck to paycheck at the moment.

Usually I don't have any money left do literally anything for myself with but this week I did and I decided to get myself a takeaway, I rarely eat fast food so I was really excited for it today. It had arrived and just as it did my baby started crying.

It was 6pm when that happened and I wasn't able to put her down until 7:15pm. I finally went back into the to kitchen, knowing I'd have to reheat my food but I was really hungry and didn't really mind that I'd have to do so.

When I got into the kitchen, I noticed the food was gone and that the container my noodles had come in was sitting in the sink. I went into the sitting room where my two housemates were and asked if they had binned it seeing as I took so long.

Julie said that she had eaten it, thinking it was a gift for her since the meal consisted of her favourite menu items from the place and since she orders from there regularly she thought it was a surprise for her.

I'm really not sure what got into me, whether it was the fact I'm now not able to do anything for myself this week, the exhaustion or the fact i was hungry. Or all above, but I just started crying.

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I left the room and went to cook something out of the freezer and just went to bed after that. I got a text from my housemate into the group chat about 15 minutes ago saying I was an a**hole and I should've left a note or bottled up. AITA?

This tale of a pilfered takeaway is more than a petty squabble—it’s a snapshot of the strain that comes with shared living and limited resources. The young mom’s tears reflect not just hunger but the weight of disappointment, a sentiment Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, addresses in a 2023 Psychology Today article: “Small violations, like taking someone’s food, can feel like a betrayal when trust is already fragile” . For a low-income single mom, that meal was a rare act of self-care, not just food.

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The housemate, Julie, assumed the meal was a “gift” because it matched her tastes, revealing a lack of empathy and poor communication. This clash highlights opposing perspectives: the mom’s need for respect versus Julie’s entitled assumption. A 2022 study from the National Institute of Health notes that 74% of young adults in shared housing report boundary disputes, often due to unclear expectations . Julie’s failure to ask permission underscores this issue.

Heitler’s advice emphasizes proactive communication to prevent resentment. For the mom, setting clear boundaries—like labeling food or discussing house rules—could prevent future conflicts. Julie should replace the meal or reimburse the cost as a gesture of accountability. Moving forward, a house meeting to establish shared guidelines could rebuild trust.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up a buffet of outrage and witty clapbacks. Here’s what the community had to say:

cleveraccountname13 − NTA. The roommate should have immediately replaced it or given you money. Who the f**k assumes something they didn't buy is a gift for them just because it is something they like. If you bought a new phone would she think it belonged to her because she loves new phones?

[Reddit User] − NTA WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE A NOT FOR SOMEONE NOT TO EAT YOUR FOOD BUT WHEN THERE IS NO NOTE ASSUME SOMEONE FOT YOU A PRESENT. I CAN’T WITH YOUR ROOMMATE.

I guess you could have said what happened afterwards and if she had any decent she would have ordered you food then and there. She’s a massive a**hole for assuming it was a present for her, the entitlement.

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BigDaddyTrixter − NTA, and don’t overlook the simple fact you are not crying because she ate your food, you are crying because of disappointment and defeat… someone took something from you that you anticipated and was looking forward to - they stole your reward for being responsible, and that is NOT ok (at any level)…

Your housemate is a selfish, insensitive a**hole for stealing your food and patronizing you by making up a stupid excuse “I thought it was a surprise for me because it was something I liked…”… WRONG

she stole from you when you least expected it and then she lied, now she is trying to guilt you into thinking it is somehow YOUR fault for being upset. Your housemate owes you an apology and a new dinner. Also, get a new housemate - the one you have now is a selfish and narcissistic A**HOLE.

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PsychoticEjaculation − **NTA**. **Your room mate is so rude and assuming!**

ImStealingTheTowels − NTA You don't just help yourself to *anything* that you haven't bought yourself without asking who it belongs to and if you can share it with them. Julie's name was not on that takeaway bag and therefore she should not have eaten its contents. She's an a**hole for stealing your food and your housemate is an a**hole for blaming her actions on you.

shadymuse − NTA. Your housemates' logic is messed up! By her logic - anything that she sees in the house that doesn't have a tag or note attached to it, is up for grabs? Wtf. Does she expect you to put a note on everything that you get and keep in the house because she just can't keep her hands off it?

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Man. What even? Also, instead of apologizing to you for eating your food without your permission, she calls you an a**hole even after seeing how upset you were?. She is a top tier AH.

Ok-Culture-1983 − NTA. When your baby's crying, you're not going to stop to leave a note. Your roommate shouldn't have assumed that it was for her and should have offered to get you more.

Ok-Image-5514 − No, you did nothing wrong.. I'll give the young lady the benefit of the doubt, and she did think it was a gift... However, had I made some mistake like that, even in my youth

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(it sounds like she's more financially well off than you, since she makes such purchases regularly?) I would have gone right out and ordered you more, if not right then, then for the following evening!. What a bummer.

LefthandedLemur − NTA. So your roommate saw your food, chose to eat it, and then lied and said she “tHoUgHt iT wAs a GiFt?” And then called you an a**hole for being upset with that she stole your food? Holy f**k. You need to respond to her in the group chat with how much she owes you for the food.

quarkfan4552 − NTA and you need to be reimbursed ASAP

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These spicy Reddit takes call out Julie’s entitlement with gusto, but do they miss the mark on solutions? The consensus is clear: stealing food isn’t just rude—it’s a violation. Yet, the real question is how to move forward without escalating the drama.

This young mom’s story hits home for anyone who’s felt their small victories snatched away. Her tears weren’t just about noodles—they were about the struggle to carve out joy in a tough world. Julie’s assumption and lack of remorse highlight the need for respect in shared spaces, but the path forward lies in open communication and clear boundaries. Have you ever had a roommate cross a line like this? What would you do in this mom’s shoes? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the convo cooking!

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