AITA for crying and asking my boyfriend to leave over a burger?

Pregnancy can bring out the most surprising cravings—ice cream at 2 a.m., pickles dipped in peanut butter, or, in this case, a very specific veggie burger from a local spot that closes at 9 p.m. But what happens when you’re six months pregnant, working two jobs, and the one thing you’ve been looking forward to all week is forgotten? And worse—your partner doesn’t even apologize?

This is the exact emotional storm one 21-year-old found herself weathering when her 28-year-old boyfriend, who had moved in to “help” during her complicated pregnancy, dropped the ball. What started as a craving for a simple veggie burger spiraled into a blowout fight, tears, and him sleeping in his car. Was it really about the burger—or something much deeper?

‘AITA for crying and asking my boyfriend to leave over a burger?’

I (21F) recently found out I’m pregnant (woo…/s) getting to the 6 month mark, it’s a complicated pregnancy and I’m exhausted. My boyfriend (28) moved in with me because of it, it wasn’t expected but we’re making do. I’m training to be a teacher and he’s currently looking for employment,

technically I’m working two jobs to support the both of us it’s tiring, but he’s looking so it’s not over that. There’s a local burger place I’d been wanting, we rarely go but I’ve been having cravings - they shut at a certain time. He agreed to it, he agreed to ordering since they only have one veggie burger I like, it’s not as though there’s multiple things I can have.

They shut at 9, I got home at 840 and he hadn’t ordered and by the time he went to it was too late, I started crying because I’ve been craving that all week and all I wanted was a burger and a hot shower, I couldn’t even have a shower since he used the last of the hot water.

He didn’t apologise and offered to go Burger King, which I didn’t want and he got all silent claiming I’m being an AH since he’s been job hunting all day (as I see it my day started at 6am and ended when I got in bed at 930, his day started at 9am and ended at 930, but I’ve got the extra weight of pregnancy) we got into an argument about how we’re comparing days and that he’s o**rwhelmed.

I asked him to leave, because I don’t like arguing and he had to stay in his car since he moved in with me (away from friends). He argued that I’m blowing it out of the window because I’m pregnant and not considering his feelings, because he’s o**rwhelmed, so am I?

My friends say I’m the AH because he’s probably in over his head, and had to sleep in his car over a burger.. AITA?. I know I said woo to be sarcastic, I’m not excited but I do love the baby already. Excuse my grammar, I’m ok when focusing but honestly not that good with English.. 

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This burger blowup is less about fast food and more about the weight of unmet expectations in a strained relationship. The woman, pregnant and overworked, leaned on her boyfriend for a small gesture—ordering a burger—only to feel let down. His failure to apologize and dismissal of her feelings fueled the fire, leading to her asking him to leave.

Relationship counselor Dr. Gary Chapman notes, “Small acts of care build trust, but neglecting them can erode it, especially under stress”. Pregnancy amplifies emotional and physical strain—studies show 70% of pregnant women report heightened stress from partner dynamics (Journal of Family Psychology, 2024). Her boyfriend’s unemployment and lack of contribution, paired with his defensive reaction, highlight an imbalance.

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The broader issue is partnership equity: when one partner carries more, small oversights like a missed order can feel monumental. A calm conversation about shared responsibilities could help. She might express how his actions impacted her, while he could clarify his job-hunting stress. Couples counseling could guide them toward balance.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit users didn’t mince words, dishing out fiery takes on this burger-fueled fallout. Here’s what they had to say:

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Right_Bee_9809 − When you said that you got pregnant and he moved in, I assumed that that was to help you and kiddle to start a family. Apparently not the case at all. I'm going to be very harsh here. He has to stop talking about finding a job and find a g**damn job. You have to stop working two jobs to help support him.

Your job is to support that baby not him. Actually that's his job as well.. You may notice I have not discussed the burger and that's because it's irrelevant.. You are NTA but you need to take several steps back and evaluate your options. Edit: I want thank everyone who upvoted my comment and gave me an award. I am bowled over by your kindness.

Thediciplematt − NTA. Girl. This is going to be your life soon. Why are you bringing this man into the fold? What is he really doing for you? He’s 28 without a job and you’ve got a baby coming in 2-3 months… obviously this one situation is likely a hormone response but it isn’t going to get better if he isn’t contributing to your life.

Wishiwashome − NTA. I have to say this; I think the fact you are pregnant, with maybe a less than easy pregnancy( if I am reading right) You are working 2 jobs. Your BF is unemployed. I am seriously wondering if the crying was all about the burger?

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Limp_Examination_237 − From my perspective you didn't cry over a burger... you cried because he just doesn't care.. So you're pregnant, working 2 jobs and have a craving. He's at home 'searching for a job all day' and can't even go out to buy a burger?

And he even takes a hot shower, and now you can't because you're out of hot water? So he didn't even think that maybe his pregnant girlfriend working 2 jobs need hot water in the end of the day.. You're not TA. He is... a big one

EmpressJainaSolo − OP, you were only dating for five months when you became pregnant.. You’ve been pregnant in this relationship longer than not pregnant. How quickly did he move in? How long has he been without a job?

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And how was moving in with you while you were pregnant helping you? Because all these things combined make him sound like a man in his late twenties who intentionally latched on to you so he wouldn’t have to take care of himself.

Calm-Cantaloupe7355 − NTA. He was 'job hunting' until 8:40 PM? Not likely. You are working two jobs and he isn't working and he couldn't be bothered to call in an order. And he didn't apologize for his s**ew up.

issy_haatin − Don't be the AH to yourself. 28y old, he’s currently looking for employment, technically I’m working two jobs to support the both of us it’s tiring, but he’s looking so it’s not over that. He doesn't bring anything to the table, kick him out and file for full custody and child support. It'll be easier than supporting him.. He could go flip burgers if he really wanted to get a job

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StuffonBookshelfs − INFO: What does he bring to this partnership? Other than sperm?

Winter_Cheesecake158 − What was he o**rwhelmed by? Job applications? I realize job hunting is more work than one would think but you had literally been working all day and his had promised to get the burgers. He’s a grown up and should know how to plan his time so that he can make the order before the restaurant closes. It’s not that hard. He needs to step up. NTA.

Dangerous_Mail1939 − NTA. Sounds like he’s being picky about what kind of job he wants (because literally everywhere is hiring especially fast food) OR he only pretends to be job hunting for 12 hours a day. I mean, with 12 hours, I could probably apply to hundreds of jobs.

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It doesn’t mean that I’m qualified to work those jobs but at least he’d be trying. In all this time he has been “job hunting” how many interviews has he had? It sounds like he’d rather free load off of you than actually go and get a job. He’s gonna have a rude awakening when this baby comes and he has to help out.

These Reddit hot takes sizzle, but do they capture the whole story? Was her reaction overblown, or was the burger just the final straw?

This tale of a missed burger and a night in the car shows how small moments can crack open bigger issues in a relationship. Pregnancy, stress, and unequal effort turned a craving into a confrontation. Have you ever snapped over something small that felt huge? How do you navigate tension when life’s already heavy? Drop your stories below—what would you do in her shoes?

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