AITA for correcting my husband and telling him “we” didn’t make dinner, I did?

In a warm kitchen filled with the aroma of fresh pizza, a mother savors her children’s gratitude for the meal she crafted from scratch. But when her husband declares “we all” made dinner, her quick correction—I did it—sets off a family squabble. Her stand for recognition, amid flour-dusted counters, turns a cozy meal into a debate over effort and appreciation.

This story, sprinkled with domestic hustle and heart, captures a moment where a mother’s labor clashes with a father’s well-meaning but off-mark claim. It’s a relatable slice of family life, where gratitude and credit can stir up more than just dough, reflecting the unsung work of parenting.

‘AITA for correcting my husband and telling him “we” didn’t make dinner, I did?’

So for dinner last night I decided to make pizza. I (32F) and my husband (37M) have 3 kids (8F, 6M, 3F). My husband is pretty busy with work so for the past 4 years we agreed I would work part time and take care of the kids and do more housework.

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Last night I decided to make pizza. I do the grocery shopping. I made the dough by myself, I cut up the vegetables for toppings by myself, I shredded the cheese by myself, I rolled out the dough into the pizza shape by myself. I laid out all the toppings and let my kids pick which ones they wanted on their pizza and their leftover pizza could be lunch.

They wanted to put the toppings on themselves so I let them, and once they were done I had to respace things so they would cook evenly and were better spread out. As we were eating, my kids are talking about how good the pizza is and thanking me for making dinner.

My husband tells them they don't need to thank me because WE ALL MADE DINNER. I said 'no, WE didnt. I made dinner, but I appreciate your help with the toppings'. After we put the kids to bed, my husband said I need to not undermine the kids when they are being independent, and they did in fact cook dinner.

I told him no, the kids should appreciate the work it takes to make a meal from scratch (I've bought store made pizza shells before and they didn't like it and asked me to make the dough instead). He said I'm being petty and I should be encouraging our kids.

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Thats all good and well but when I was cooking and asked for help, then he went outside with the kids to play, which I was fine with. But I think my kids should appreciate what I do for them and they won't understand what I do for them if my husband brushes it off.. He thinks I was being TA, reddit decide for us.. ​

Pizza night should be a family joy, but this one turned peppery when a husband’s claim of shared effort clashed with his wife’s solo kitchen grind. Her correction—that she, not “we,” made dinner—wasn’t about ego but about teaching her kids to value her work. His dismissal, urging her not to “undermine” the kids, missed the mark, dimming her well-earned spotlight.

Household labor often goes unnoticed. A 2023 Pew Research study found 59% of mothers feel unappreciated for domestic work, especially when partners downplay it. Here, the wife’s pizza prep—dough, toppings, all—was a labor of love, yet her husband’s comment suggested it was a group effort, erasing her role.

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Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Acknowledging a partner’s contributions builds mutual respect”. The husband could have praised the kids’ topping help while thanking his wife for the heavy lifting. Her correction was a bid for fairness, though a softer tone might have kept the peace. His absence during prep, playing outside, further justified her need for credit.

For them, open talks about sharing credit can heal this rift. She might explain how his words felt dismissive, while he could model gratitude for her work. This story shows that in family life, giving credit where it’s due isn’t petty—it’s the sauce that keeps love simmering.

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Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s community sided with the mom, seeing her correction as a fair claim to her hard work. Many criticized the husband for telling the kids not to thank her, calling it a move that downplayed her effort and taught ingratitude. His absence during cooking, only to claim shared credit, struck users as dismissive.

The kids’ topping help was sweet, Reddit agreed, but didn’t equate to her full-on pizza-making marathon. Users praised her for fostering independence while seeking appreciation, urging the husband to model gratitude. The consensus was clear: her stand was about respect, not rivalry, in a family dynamic craving balance.

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RonaValentine − NTA you did almost all of the work and he wants to diminish the effort you've made? S**ew that take the credit you deserve sis

stink3rbelle − they don't need to thank me because WE ALL MADE DINNER NTA. This is a pretty poor lesson to try to 'teach' kids. MORE THAN ONE PERSON CAN DESERVE THANKS AT ONE TIME.

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Nothing about what the kids did means that you didn't contribute to the meal. If he wants to appreciate them, he can thank them for helping with the toppings, he doesn't need to tell them to *avoid* thanking you. Gratitude is not a zero-sum game.

lightwoodorchestra − NTA, good god. If you want to talk about undermining, your kids were politely thanking you for making dinner and your husband TOLD THEM NOT TO. It's like he actively wants them to take you for granted as much as he does.

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MISSdragonladybitch − NTA - in what world could it possibly be a good idea to say 'don't thank your mother'? He could easily have praised the kids for helping without totally negating the work you did. This story makes me think of the one about men barbequing.

The wife *marinates the meat,*chops up everything, *seasons the burgers, *makes all the salads and side dishes, *makes iced tea, *sets the table, *brings out the plate of prepared, ready-to-grill meat and hands it to the husband.. Hubby *puts the meat on the grill.. *Takes the meat off the grill.. Reaps endless praise for cooking dinner.

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HiddenFigures72 − NTA. Why couldn't he just let them thank you? That's so weird to me.

Kittytigris − NTA, he’s the a**hole. My dad always makes it clear that unless we do everything, prepping, cooking and even shopping for dinner, we, the kids are just helping mom. Mom’s the main person who does dinner and that’s that. Kudos to your kids for remembering to thank you, no dessert for you husband for being an ass and dismissing your hard work.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Your husband telling your kids they don't need to thank you is the clincher.

anemialcollective − i see the husband's point about kids being independent and needing encouragement, *but* his comment about how they didn't need to thank you and everyone made dinner (he didn't even help himself, if i am following correctly) is really weird.

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he could have just thanked the kids for their help too, you could have joined and this all pettiness could have been avoided. NTA as long as you didn't actually argue in front of the kids.

wallflowerdoll − NTA -- and how does he think it's not an a**hole thing to undermine the effort you have put in? Even if you are not working full time, being a parent is a full-time job. Parents, and specifically mothers, do not get enough credit for what they do.

By teaching your children to acknowledge the efforts others put in (ESPECIALLY by their parents), you teach them life skills of being 1) appreciative 2) humble. I hope you share this with your husband, because this sets a precedent for how your kids will one day treat their spouse and their children.

How is it better that your husband would boost your kids while undermining his wife in front of them? By not acknowledging the efforts you put in, he basically is making it appear that 'what mom does isn't significant and necessary of thanks'.

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EDIT TO ADD: THAT IS NOT POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT. Positive reinforcement is acknowledging what THEY did. OP did all the work -- how about he acts like a good husband and father and show positive reinforcement to his wife, when she cooks HOMEMADE food?

Jeez even my boyfriend acknowledges making handmade pasta is a lot of work (after eating homemade pasta, he prefers it more now. But I already told him it's a lot of work and that needs time)

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Don't spoil your kids. Have them be responsible for what they did, and encourage them on what they do right. Don't give credit where it isn't due -- it always leads to problems down the road.

maggienetism − NTA. I notice that when you asked for help with cooking dinner he...took the kids outside to play instead. Telling the kids not to thank you (manners for them!) when you did 99% of the cooking without any of the help you asked for is a d**k move.

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This story, like a pizza fresh from the oven, blends warmth with a bit of bite. The mom’s push for dinner credit highlighted her unseen labor, sparking a clash but also a chance for growth. It’s a reminder that gratitude fuels family bonds. Have you faced moments where your efforts went unnoticed? Share your tales—let’s savor this mix of love and labor.

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