AITA for correcting my cousin publically over her claiming no one in the family had ever been to university before her child?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a sunny corner of the digital world, a family’s pride bloomed like wildflowers on a Facebook post. The OP’s cousin, bursting with joy, celebrated her daughter’s unconditional university offer with a post that sparkled with ambition. But the glow dimmed when she claimed her child would be the first in their sprawling family to attend university—a bold statement that conveniently forgot the OP and their brother’s recent degrees. The oversight stung, especially with the family tagged for all to see.

Tensions simmered as the OP crafted a polite reply, congratulating the young scholar while gently correcting the record. The post, meant to unite, instead sparked a family feud, with the cousin feeling upstaged and an aunt urging the OP to back down. This tale of pride, truth, and social media missteps invites readers to ponder: when does a correction cross into one-upping?

‘AITA for correcting my cousin publically over her claiming no one in the family had ever been to university before her child?’

I, along with my brother, just graduated from university. My first cousin once removed (aged 18) is just about to start university after the summer. My cousin, the child's mother, just posted a long, congratulatory post on Facebook (she just had her offer bumped up to an unconditional place).

In this post, she went on and on about how Child will be the first in the whole wider family to go to university. She listed off how her and her husband's parents, aunts and uncles (including my dad, the cousin's uncle) and all their kids haven't been able to attend university, and how her child will start a new generation of university attendees.

I don't know whether she was playing dumb or had just had a brain fart, but she knows that both myself and my brother just graduated from university. I would have given her the benefit of the doubt for just meaning the 'adults' in the family hadn't been into further study (my dad was born 10 years after his next youngest siblings,

which is why I have cousins 20ish years older than me, and a 17 year old first cousin once removed), but since she name-checked and tagged us in with everyone else, it felt like it was deliberate. I replied congratulating my second cousin, phrasing a second part of the comment as 'So great to see another [surname] starting their next stage in life,

just after [brother] and I graduate from our universities!', to politely remind her that her bold claims were false. A little while later I got a message from my aunt, my cousin's mother, asking me to remove the comment since Cousin was embarrassed,

and felt like I was trying to one-up her (even though that's exactly what the tone of her post was).I haven't yet removed the comment, but woke up feeling pretty asshole-ish, and probably will remove the comment later on. Just how much am I in the wrong?

EDIT: Thanks for the advice everyone, we've had to pander to my cousin before over things, so I need to learn to stand up for myself. Also I know I messed up in correctly labelling who everyone is, the person going to university soon is my first cousin once removed,

and her mum is my cousin. I also got a pronoun wrong at some point too, MY brother and I were the people who graduated a few weeks ago. Finally, to everyone saying my profile picture should be me in my gown, it already was!!

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2nd EDIT: I know I got the proper name for my first cousin once removed wrong!! I didn't want to change it in the post since I've seen so many times about how changing posts automatically means you're a liar and karma-seeker, but every PM saying 'just so you know...' is slowly breaking my soul! Again, apologies, family tree labels are my Achille's heel apparently!

Family boasts on social media can feel like a tightrope walk over a reunion barbecue. The OP’s situation, where a cousin’s glowing post ignored their achievements, highlights the delicate balance of pride and truth online. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, “Honesty in family dynamics fosters trust, but delivery matters to avoid escalation” . The cousin’s post, tagging the OP and their brother, seems less a mistake and more a bid for attention, sidelining others’ accomplishments.

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The OP’s response, while polite, landed as a public correction, which can sting in family settings. Social media amplifies these moments, as 62% of adults report feeling judged online, per a 2023 Pew Research study . The cousin’s embarrassment suggests insecurity, not malice, but her tagging choice invited scrutiny. The OP’s mild sarcasm was fair but could’ve been softer in private to keep peace.

This situation reflects broader issues of validation in families. Dr. Gottman advises addressing conflicts with “I feel” statements to defuse tension. The OP could acknowledge the cousin’s pride while asserting their truth, perhaps in a private message. Moving forward, setting boundaries about public claims can prevent repeat drama, keeping family ties stronger than a Wi-Fi signal.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew rolled up with pitchforks and popcorn, ready to weigh in on this family face-off. Here’s the spicy mix of cheers and jeers from the crowd, served with a side of humor:

[Reddit User] − NTA my dude, you’re all good. She’s trying to one up you obviously and I think this is about her insecurities- not your second cousins. I think you should let her know that she won’t get away with treating family like that. I’m glad you’re not taking it out on the second cousin, but the first cousin needs to chill.

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AllCakesAreBeautiful − NTA she is doing it on purpose to make her child seem special, which is fine, except she is doing it by lying about family.

certain_people − NTA. Tell them you'll edit your comments if they'll edit their post.

Veauxdeaux − Definitely NTA. Tell your cousin to fix the post claiming the your seconds cousin is the first to go to university.

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Barrel-Of-Tigers − NTA. She didn’t just leave it at “So proud for (daughter) to be the first in our family to attend university!”. Which could’ve at least meant first in their specific line or closer family, but would’ve still been a bit of a stretch since you’re her first cousin. She went for the over the top Facebook brag and even tagged you guys.

Your cousin deserves to be embarrassed. I don’t see how she could go through and tag both you and your brother and totally forget you’ve both attended and recently graduated university... Seems like she’s just upset she was so rapidly called out for her blatant lie and the brag made her look like an arsehole.

scullydoobydoo − NTA she said you didn’t graduate, you’re saying you did because you did. Not your fault

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[Reddit User] − NTA don't remove that comment she's trying to get attention and seem braggy by her comments and directly tagging you guys in it. Lying for attention isn't the right way to do things. If she felt that attacked by her comment she could simply edit her post it would take no more than 5min.

McRegt − I would have phrased things a little differently, though that would be a matter of personal preference and depend on the situation. Considering she tagged the entire family in the post, I'd say it's fair to state that the child isn't in fact the first one.. Conclusion: NTA.

ohdeargodnotthisguy − That would actually make the child your first cousin once removed, not your second cousin. NTA

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darjeelincat − NTA, your aunt was petty and wanted to brag, bending the truth, and you called her out for lying. Sucks that her kid got embarrassed but the aunt should've thought about that before posting that.

These Redditors didn’t hold back, mostly siding with the OP and calling the cousin’s post a calculated flex. Some urged keeping the comment up; others suggested a gentler approach. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the family fire? One thing’s clear: this saga has Reddit buzzing like a group chat gone wild.

This tale of family pride and public corrections shows how quickly a celebratory post can turn into a digital dust-up. The OP’s choice to stand their ground resonates with anyone who’s felt erased by a relative’s spotlight grab. Balancing truth with tact is tricky, especially when likes and comments amplify every word. Families navigate these moments with care, or risk a feud that outlasts the post. What would you do if a relative’s boast buried your achievements? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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