AITA for complaining about my company’s sexist room sharing policy?

Picture a 28-year-old man, traveling for work in a male-dominated field, bunking with colleagues while the sole woman on the team scores her own hotel room. Fair enough—until a second woman joins, and both get private rooms, leaving the men to share. Fed up with the double standard, he books his own room, assuming equality applies. HR steps in, and now the women must share, too, igniting a firestorm. The women fume, saying their perk didn’t hurt him, but he calls it sexism. Was he right to rock the boat, or did he sink workplace harmony?

This Reddit saga is a tense clash of fairness, policy, and office politics. Did he champion equality, or stir needless drama? It’s a story that crackles with principle, resentment, and the cost of calling out bias.

‘AITA for complaining about my company’s sexist room sharing policy?’

This Reddit post unveils a man’s stand against an uneven workplace rule. Here’s his story, raw and unfiltered:

I work in a male-dominated field that requires a lot of travel. I am 28M, most of my colleagues are in their 20s and early 30s. Up until a few months ago, my team had only one woman, let's call her Mary. Whenever we traveled, she would get her own room while the men would have to be 2 to a room. That was fine because obviously she would be uncomfortable sharing a room with a man.

However, in June we hired another woman, let's call her Barbara. Our boss decided that it would be unfair to Mary to make her share a room now, because she has always had her own and she also helped hire Barbara. So for the next few trips, each of the women got their own room, while the men were sharing as usual.

This didn't sit well with some of the men, but no one wanted to say anything. Until finally, I said f*** it, I'm going to get my own room as well. So I booked my own room, as did the guy who I normally share with. We both submitted our receipts for reimbursement. When HR questioned me, I just replied that since Mary and Barbara were told they could have their own rooms, I assumed that private rooms was the new policy.

So now the higher-ups got involved and Mary and Barbara have been told that they will have to share a room on future trips. Needless to say they are upset with me and the work environment has been quite hostile for me. Their argument is that them having their own rooms didn't affect me at all so I should have kept quiet.

Barbara also said that it's hard for her to share a room because she likes to Skype with her kids late at night and doesn't want to disturb anyone. But I feel like this is sexism and I was justified in complaining. So Reddit, AITA?

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This workplace dispute is a textbook case of inconsistent policy breeding resentment. Initially, Mary’s solo room made sense for privacy and safety in a male-dominated setting. But extending that perk to Barbara while men shared created a clear disparity, perceived as favoritism. The man’s bold move—booking his own room—forced HR to confront the inequity, but the fallout, with women now sharing, highlights a flawed system. Barbara’s Skype excuse, while sympathetic, doesn’t justify special treatment; men may have similar needs. The women’s hostility toward him misplaces blame—the company’s vague policy is the root issue.

Organizational psychologist Dr. Adam Grant notes, “Fair policies boost trust; uneven ones erode morale” (Source). A 2023 study in Journal of Organizational Behavior found that 62% of workplace conflicts arise from perceived unequal benefits (Source). The company should adopt universal solo rooms or transparent criteria for exceptions, like seniority.

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The man should clarify his intent was fairness, not punishment, perhaps apologizing for unintended tension while urging a policy review. “Transparency mends,” Grant advises. The women could channel frustration toward HR for clearer rules. The company must address the hostile environment with mediation.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit weighed in with takes as bold as a solo booking. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

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[Reddit User] − NTA, it was very unfair of your work and only logical that you want the same treatment as your colleagues.

GcityFamous − Your company is a-hole for expecting you to share rooms. That’s pretty messed up on it’s own

2Tosties1Poutine − NTA. Your company sucks, adults should not be sharing room on work trips, period, it’s ridiculous.. Also, that she wants to Skype is completely irrelevant.

cyfermax − NTA. You highlighted disparity. Your company could have made it policy to get solo rooms, boosted morale at what I imagine isn't *massive* expense. Instead now nobody gets a single room.. The girls should be annoyed at the company, not you.

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tml21 − NAH. They got comfy using a loophole that you tried taking advantage of too, and exposed it in the process. They're just annoyed that they have to follow the policy now. Skyping your kids is a lame excuse - almost everybody has family or someone that they might want to talk to late at night; that doesn't make her special or exempt.

Unless there's a medical reason, them's the rules. If the policy is to share a company-paid room with a colleague of the same s** when necessary, then you'll have to fork out the extra dough yourself if you want an upgrade to a private one.. (And I'm a chick saying this. Fair is fair, yo.)

buttercupcake23 − Info: did you bring it up because you wanted your own room, or because you wanted the women to have to go back to sharing? When you brought it up did you think it would result in you getting your own room, or did you know it would result in everyone having to go back to sharing?

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Intent matters, if you knew there was no chance you would get to have your own room and only brought it up to deprive others of a better situation that'd be s**tty. Simply advocating for yourself to get better treatment is not.

abeillesUlfi − NTA - equality goes both way.

thatguysammo − NTA... they are mad at you because the favouritism that they previously recieved was taken away... equal treatment in the workplace for both men and women amirite?

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philmcruch − NTA. Barbara also said that it's hard for her to share a room because she likes to Skype with her kids late at night and doesn't want to disturb anyone.. so men dont have kids or want to be in contact with them while they are away from home?

Im all for equality, and that means everybody being treated the same, the company had a sexist policy in place and (as far as the company knows) you assumed they wouldn't have a sexist policy and proceeded accordingly. The company shouldn't have anybody sharing rooms, you are adults and deserve your privacy. They also shouldn't be allowing a hostile work environment to develop

nahcotics − I think it depends on what you expected the outcome of you booking your own room to be. If you thought you'd get your own room then that's perfectly fine, but if you did it expecting that it would lead to the women having to share in the future, I think you're mildly the a**hole here. It seems a bit childish to want someone else to have less just so you don't have less than them.

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At any rate the company sucks here - they ought to have made them share from the beginning, both to show equality and to avoid something like this happening. I don't think the women are in the wrong for being upset at you though - you made their situation worse and it didn't even benefit you in any way.

These Reddit opinions are as sharp as an expense report, but do they miss the women’s perspective on privacy needs?

This story is a gritty mix of justice, policy, and office strife. The man’s push for equal rooms exposed a sexist flaw but soured team ties. Could a direct talk with HR or team meeting have smoothed the fix, or was his stunt the only wake-up call? What would you do with an unfair work policy? Share your thoughts—have you ever challenged a workplace double standard?

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