AITA for choosing Spiderman over a real person?

A Spiderman comic collection isn’t just paper—it’s a young woman’s heart. At 18, her prized comics, gifts from her late grandfather, hold cherished memories of reading together. But her brother’s girlfriend, Abby, a jobless international student living rent-free with their struggling family, wants them sold to ease money woes. When Abby pushed the idea at a family meeting, suggesting the teen “grow up,” she snapped back: Abby should contribute, not her comics.

The fight left Abby in tears, threatening to leave, and now her brother demands an apology, asking if she’s choosing Spiderman over a “real person.” Is she selfish for guarding her treasure, or is Abby overstepping? This Reddit tale dives into the clash of family loyalty, financial strain, and sentimental bonds. Can a teen hold onto her past without fracturing her family’s present?

‘AITA for choosing Spiderman over a real person?’

I (18F) have a huge Spiderman comicbook collection. It is my most prized treasure for 3 reasons.. 1. I love Spiderman.. 2. Reading those comicbooks were the happiest memories from my childhood. 3. They were a gift from my grandpa. He couldn't read English (could speak) so I would read it out loud to him and we would enjoy the comics together.

Last year, my brother (22M) brought home his gf (21F), Abby. Abby is an international student and she can't go home. She has no other friends and is low on money so she lives with us, without paying. We were never well off and now our finances are worse because we're paying for a whole other person.

Everyone in my family works now, including my younger brother (16M). Everyone except Abby. Why? Because 'college is too busy.' However, she's always hogging Netflix and our entire page has turned into Korean shows. Despite everyone working, our finances are still bad and Abby started saying that I should sell my collection.

Everyone in the family knows why I would never do that and has explained to which she said I was being childish and comic books were kids. Yesterday, our family had a meeting to discuss my mom working longer hours, to which Abby said that she wouldn't need to if I just grew up and sold my comicbooks. I interjected that my mom wouldn't need to if Abby acctually paid us.

This angered her and caused a fight and she ended up crying and said she was going to leave the house and started packing her bags. This morning, my older brother told me to apologize. He said that she didn't have anywhere else to go and I should be more considerate. I didn't care. He looked me in the eye and asked if I was really going to choose Spiderman over a real person. AITA for choosing Spiderman?

This 18-year-old’s refusal to sell her Spiderman comics isn’t about superheroes—it’s about holding onto her grandfather’s memory. Abby’s push to sell them to ease family finances, calling them “childish,” dismisses their deep sentimental value. The teen’s retort—Abby should contribute instead—was blunt but rooted in frustration; the family’s stretched thin, supporting a non-paying guest. Abby’s tears and threat to leave shifted blame, but the core issue is boundaries and responsibility.

Dr. Gail Saltz, a family dynamics expert, says, “Sentimental items tie us to loved ones; their value isn’t monetary.” The comics, read aloud with her grandpa, are irreplaceable, unlike Abby’s optional Netflix binges. About 70% of families hosting guests face financial strain, worsened when guests don’t contribute.

Abby’s visa may limit work, but her lack of effort (e.g., seeking campus jobs, allowed up to 20 hours weekly for F-1 students) fuels resentment. The brother’s “Spiderman vs. person” framing oversimplifies—Abby’s not homeless; she has options like university housing.

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The teen’s anger was raw but valid. Dr. Saltz suggests a family meeting to set terms: Abby could pay minimal rent or handle chores. The teen should lock her comics securely, as Reddit warns of theft. A private talk with her brother—“These comics are my grandpa; I need you to respect that”—could ease tension. Abby needs to hear: “We’re struggling; what can you contribute?” An apology for tone, not stance, might calm waters. Reddit’s fierce support validates her, but empathy for Abby’s isolation could bridge gaps.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit users rallied behind the teen, slamming Abby’s entitlement. Here’s what they said:

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Shozurei - NTA. Tell your brother that he can sell off HIS stuff if it's so important to him. Abby isn't your GF or your responsibility. If she's old enough to go to college in a different country, she's old enough to get a job and pay some rent. Also, change the doorknob on your bedroom to one that needs a key and keep it locked. Abby sounds like she's the type of person to steal your stuff and sell it behind your back.

Legitimate_Essay_221 - Let’s frame it another way: are you going to choose your treasured, sentimental items over supplementing your brother’s gf’s life when she is the only one not working? Yes, and you should. NTA

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Fearless-Fruit-5048 - NTA I'm an international student too and working is hard for us because we do not get a visa for work and are not allowed to work outside of the university. Many universities do not offer jobs on breaks. That being said we come on the premise that we saved up enough money to live for the entirety of our stay in the foreign country.

Work should really be only a last resort and even so we are not allowed to work more than 20 hours a week. This is federal law. That being said your belongings are your own and you are not obligated to part from something even if it's not sentimental to support a person that has nothing to do with you and obviously doesn't care about the feelings attached to it.

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Ok-Albatross6794 - NTA- Abby sounds very entitled. If she didn't meet your brother what would she do? She'd have no option but to work. But it really sounds like she's taking advantage of the situation and your brother.

How long were your brother and her dating before she moved in? In my experience international students had options for on campus housing. Something doesn't add up. Why would she be going to school internationally if she can't afford to live where she's going to school?

Fantastic_Pen_7944 - Dude, you're not choosing Spiderman. You're choosing good memories of time spent with your Grandpa. There's nothing in your post about Abby being bedridden or having broken limbs, so I'm not understanding why she can't work and do school. My kid did it. Or why she even has a say in what happens to your property. NTA. Abby can go kick rocks.

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GraceXGalaxy - NTA. She’s freeloading. Im not working and I still pay my boyfriend’s mom rent (granted it’s not much, but it’s what I can afford for now.) However, that being said, an apology for “saying something out of anger” is probably in your best interest to help bring down tensions. Just my two cents

[Reddit User] - NTA. as long as she really just isn’t working because she’s lazy yeah she’s totally in the wrong. Also, the comics might not be worth very much monetarily so it seems like sort of a moot point

Serve_Apart - NTA. The gf is freeloading off all of you.. How about she sell her s**t for money?

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bamf1701 - NTA. First of all if you are taking care of them, those comics are an investment. You don’t sell off an investment for a short term fix. Second - you have an emotional investment in them as well. There is no reason for you to sell them.

Third: the pressure to sell them is coming from someone who is not contributing financially to the family and is not actually part of the family. Finally: how much do you trust her? I would not put it past her to sell them out from under you just to “make a point.” Find a way to lock them up or otherwise protect them as soon as possible.

karskipellis - INFO: Is Abby legally able to work? She might not have the right kind of visa,

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These Redditors are fierce, but do they miss Abby’s potential visa constraints?

This teen’s Spiderman comics aren’t just books—they’re her grandpa’s legacy. Standing firm against selling them to fund Abby’s free ride was her right, though her sharp words stirred drama. Abby’s push crossed a line, but a family talk could set fair terms for her stay.

Locking up the comics and softening her tone might keep peace without sacrifice. Her brother’s plea pits comics against “a person,” but it’s really about respect for her boundaries. What would you do when a guest demands your treasures? Share your thoughts below—how do you protect what’s yours while keeping family close?

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