AITA for choosing not to eat my mom’s food?

Imagine sitting down to a family meal, the aroma of home-cooked food filling the air, only to realize it could send you into a medical emergency. For one 20-year-old, this isn’t a hypothetical but a recurring nightmare. Her mother, fully aware of her severe prawn allergy, keeps serving shrimp-laden dishes, turning family dinners into a health hazard. Each bite risks swollen eyes and a frantic dose of meds, yet her mom calls her ungrateful for dodging the danger.

When a busy college schedule leaves no time for an allergic reaction, she picks out the prawns, only to face her mother’s fury and exclusion from family meals. Caught between self-preservation and family tension, she wonders if she’s the villain for prioritizing her health. Readers are drawn into this unsettling saga, questioning where love ends and negligence begins.

‘AITA for choosing not to eat my mom’s food?’

I (20f) have a prawn allergy. When I eat prawns, even in the smallest quantities, my eyes swell so much to the point where I can't open them. I've gone to a doctor for this and they prescribed flu medicine. It works but the swelling can still take at least an hour to go down after I've taken the meds. Right now I live with my mom and sister, because apartment prices are really high where we live.

It's common for folks to live with our parents. My dad's work is far so he doesn't live with us. The problem is that my mom cooks prawns regularly for family meals, even though she knows that I'm allergic. Every time she uses prawns in her cooking I get an allergic reaction and her reaction is always to say that she won't cook with prawns again. I have no idea why she is doing this.

I asked her why, and she told me that it's because I like prawns. But I don't (and have clarified on many occasions) and neither she nor my sister is a big fan of prawns. To manage this situation I have to take the medicine every time I eat her cooking. Recently, I had a busy schedule because of replacement classes, with a half an hour lunch break between my online classes.

My mom made lunch for us again, and one of the ingredients she used were prawns. I didn't want my eyes to just start swelling right before my class so I picked out the prawns and ate the rest. But my mom got really mad, saying that I was ungrateful and disrespectful.

Right now she's still mad and has excluded me from family meals, telling me to settle all my meals on my own because I didn't appreciate her. Should I have just done what I've always done, finishing the food and taking the medicine afterwards? Am I the a**hole?

Family dinners should nurture, not endanger, but this mother’s insistence on cooking prawns despite her daughter’s allergy is a recipe for disaster. The daughter’s refusal to eat is a desperate act of self-preservation, not disrespect, while the mother’s anger suggests a troubling disconnect.

Dr. Scott Sicherer, an allergist, warns, “Repeated allergen exposure can escalate reactions, potentially leading to anaphylaxis” (American Academy of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology). The daughter’s eye swelling, though managed with medication, signals a serious risk—each exposure could worsen. The mother’s claim that she cooks prawns because her daughter “likes” them, despite denials, hints at denial or deeper issues.

This situation reflects broader challenges in family health dynamics. A 2022 study in Allergy found 30% of allergy sufferers face family misunderstanding, increasing stress and risk. The mother’s dismissal of the allergy’s severity is alarming, especially since no one in the household even prefers prawns.

Dr. Sicherer advises “strict allergen avoidance and open communication.” The daughter’s move to live with her cousin is wise, prioritizing safety. She could further educate her mother with medical resources or involve a family mediator.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s hive mind didn’t mince words, rallying behind the daughter with a mix of concern and outrage. From calls for serious family talks to warnings about escalating allergies, here’s what the community dished out:

CrystalQueen3000 - NTA Honestly your mother sounds unstable. The normal reaction to your child having an allergy is to never buy or cook the item in the house.. Is she toxic or abusive in other ways?

ADVERTISEMENT

AnnieJack - NTA You need to stop eating prawns. Allergic symptoms can get worse with each exposure. Eventually, you could have an anaphylactic reaction instead of just your eyes swelling shut.

jlonso - NTA. Should I have just done what I've always done, finishing the food and taking the medicine afterwards? No, you should not. Allergies are supposed to be taken seriously and your mom is not grasping that. She is playing with fire and one day that fire is not going to burn someone, it is gonna kill someone. That someone is you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Your mom might need help, be it medical or psychological. Something is not right here. No one in the household LIKES prawns so what is going on here? You, your sister and your dad need to tackle this together.

talibob - NTA. Your mother is intentionally hurting you. It would be a very good idea to move out. I would be worried about her sneaking prawns into meals.

ADVERTISEMENT

throwaway79293 - thanks for the responses everyone. i really appreciate it. i was feeling so guilty with myself. i got the courage to have a serious conversation with my dad about this. he has talked to my mom. now we know that she just doesnt think allergies can be a big deal. she doesnt understand that allergies can get worse, so we gave up on trying to reason with her on this.

ive got a cousin who also studies at my college. for my safety she suggested i move in with her for now. she's coming to help me move by this weekend. im also looking into getting a dorm at the college. i told my mom im moving out to focus on school. she wasn't against it so everything is going smoothly so far.

Summerbals - NTA. you’re literally suffering every time you eat her food. This was stressful to read.. Can you get anyone else in the family to talk to your mom about it?

ADVERTISEMENT

moves_likemacca - My son is allergic to eggs.. We don't get eggs.. That's what you do when your child has an allergy.. Wtf, you're NTA. She is, big time.. Have you looked into Munchausen by proxy?

moistletoe - NTA. Your mom makes you eat things you’re allergic to. Is she sane? Talk to your relatives, that is extremely wrong and absolutely can result to your health declining. Allergies can progress.

Ramona_Flours - NTA stop letting your mom attempted m**der you jesus christ

ADVERTISEMENT

StockComprehensive96 - NTA - your mom is basically poisoning you and she thinks you are being rude. She is TA and stop eating the prawns because eventually instead of just your eyes swelling shut your throat will too and you will die.

These Reddit takes are spicy and heartfelt, but do they capture the full weight of this allergic standoff, or just add heat to the kitchen drama?

This family food fight leaves us grappling with a tough question: when does standing up for your health make you the bad guy? The daughter’s refusal to eat her mom’s prawn dishes saved her from an allergic reaction but cost her a seat at the family table. Was she right to prioritize her safety, or should she have kept the peace? What would you do if a loved one kept putting your health at risk? Share your thoughts—let’s dig into this dish of drama!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *