AITA for choosing a baby name my mother-in-law hates?

Picture a cozy evening, two “Game of Thrones” fans locking eyes over their shared love for Arya Stark, sparking a romance that leads to marriage and a baby on the way. Now, fast-forward to a tense family dinner where the couple’s dream name for their daughter—Arya—sets off a firestorm with the mother-in-law, who claims it’s too close to her stepdaughter’s name, Ariel. Her veto attempt hangs heavy, stirring a mix of defiance and doubt.

This Reddit tale pulls us into a whirlwind of family drama, where a name carries the weight of personal history and clashing egos. The couple’s choice feels like a love letter to their past, but will it cost them peace with the in-laws? With the mother-in-law’s passive-aggressive streak looming, let’s unpack this story of names, boundaries, and the power of saying “no.”

‘AITA for choosing a baby name my mother-in-law hates?’

For some backstory: My wife and I are expecting our first child. We have been married for five years, and had met at a viewing party for 'Game of Thrones' hosted by a mutual friend. After the episode, we discovered we both had the same favorite character (Arya Stark) and hit it off immediately. Fast-forward to last week.

My wife is seven weeks pregnant, and we both agree that if it is a girl, we will name her Arya in honor of both the character and the night we met. When my wife told this to her mother, her mother was immediately offended. You see, MIL had clashed for years with her stepdaughter (my wife's older half-sister) who happens to be named Ariel. It had gotten bad.

Ariel said some hurtful things to my MIL and, to this day, stands by her statenents. Since both names sound similar, my MIL has attempted to utilize veto power and suggest other names, but none have appealed to us. My wife has her heart set on this name, and I support her.

I would like to clarify that we don't even know the child's gender; it could just as easily be a boy and she's fine with the name we chose for that possibility (Adam, after Adam West because we're also huge Batman nerds). I do fear that my MIL will resent our potential daughter if we stick with the name (she is the type to passive-aggressively comment every chance she can), but I fear we will resent my MIL if we give in. AITA?

This name game is less about Arya versus Ariel and more about who calls the shots. The couple’s choice reflects their shared history, while the mother-in-law’s veto screams overreach. Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Family conflicts often arise when boundaries are unclear, especially with in-laws” (Psychology Today). Here, the mother-in-law’s attempt to control the name ignores the parents’ autonomy, escalating a personal choice into a power struggle.

The husband and wife stand united, but the mother-in-law’s objection ties to her unresolved pain with Ariel. It’s not just a name; it’s a reminder of past wounds. Yet, her demand oversteps—naming rights belong to parents, not grandparents. The couple’s fear of her passive-aggressive jabs is valid, as such behavior can strain family ties over time.

This taps into a broader issue: in-law dynamics in modern families. A 2021 study from Family Relations found that 40% of couples report in-law conflicts over parenting decisions (Wiley Online Library). The mother-in-law’s reaction risks alienating her from her future grandchild, especially if she lets a name dictate her bond.

For solutions, the couple should hold firm while setting clear boundaries. A polite but direct conversation—like, “We love Arya for our story, and we hope you’ll support our choice”—could defuse tension. Dr. Heitler suggests active listening to acknowledge feelings without caving.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out a mix of sass and wisdom. From eye-rolling at the mother-in-law’s “veto power” to playful jabs at Game of Thrones names, the comments spark lively debate. Here’s what they said:

Bi-Bi-Bi24 - NTA.. 'Veto power' only applies to parents of the child. Grandma doesn't get a vote. However, I don't think this will continue to be an issue if the child is a girl and Grandma spends time with her.

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I hated my nephew's name, but realize I don't get a vote, so told myself I could just call him pet names. But now that he is an actual person in my life, I just associate his name with him and I don't mind it. In concept it's a larger issue than in practice

Nordenfeldt - So in my personal opinion, any one who names their child after the cool popular thing on TV at that moment is an a**hole.. The number of Arwens born the year Fellowship of the Ring was released in theatres was depresssingly high. That said, the name is different enough that, even if your MIL had any standing to object, which she does not, her objection is irrelevant. So, NTA.

powfuldragon - YTA for naming her after game of thrones, bro.

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mountaingoat05 - NTA. The only people who get a vote in a child's name are the parents.

[Reddit User] - NTA obviously. It’s not even the same name. Even if it was, no one has exclusivity on a name. Roll your eyes, laugh and say you won’t listen to anymore ridiculous notions. This is a good time to establish boundaries in general with MIL. Congrats on lil Arya or Adam!

Gorblim - long steep plucky cheerful weary offend snow unwritten seemly close. *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

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freerangelibrarian - NTA.. Your mother-in-law has no veto power or any power at all in your parenting decisions. If she is the kind of person who will let a child's name influence her treatment of her, she doesn't belong in the child's life.

bluebell435 - NTA. Please tell me she didn't *say* veto power.

HemaBharani - NTA, it's your child's name. Btw, if you want to go for spite, Arya is a boy name too in some parts of the world. And both name choices are lovely - congratulations!

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princessro123 - NTA at all... it’s your baby not hers. my grandma forbid my parents to name me a certain name so they chose it out of spite and she got over it the minute i was born

These Reddit takes are spicy, but do they miss the deeper family dynamics at play?

This story is a reminder that a name can carry more than syllables—it holds memories, identity, and sometimes family baggage. The couple’s stand for Arya is a bold claim to their parental rights, but the mother-in-law’s reaction hints at deeper hurts that need addressing. Their compromise-free stance feels empowering, yet navigating her passive-aggression will test their patience. Have you ever clashed with family over a personal choice like this? What would you do in their shoes? Drop your thoughts below!

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