AITA for changing my baby while wearing gloves and a mask?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a cozy home filled with the soft coos of a newborn, one mother’s quirky diaper-changing ritual has stirred up a storm. Armed with gloves, a mask, and a dab of minty salve, she tackles her baby’s diapers like a hazmat team on a mission. But her wife and family aren’t amused, claiming this get-up blocks the tender bonding moments every parent cherishes.

The tension runs high as love for their 4-month-old daughter clashes with personal discomfort. Is this mom’s practical solution a parenting faux pas, or just a clever way to handle a smelly situation? Readers can’t help but wonder: how far would you go to dodge a diaper’s whiff?

‘AITA for changing my baby while wearing gloves and a mask?’

This issue has been going on for a few months and now our families are involved. I don't think I'm the a**hole but could really use some unbiased advice here. I (28 f) and my wife (29 f) just had our first child about 4 months ago--my wife was the one who gave birth. I love my daughter so much and would do anything for her.

We both work from home and therefore split childcare pretty much 50/50. If she's busy and the baby is crying or needs food/changing, I take care of it and vice versa. The issue though is diaper changes. I've always been really really squeamish and sensitive to bad smells.

(My wife knows, I even fainted briefly while she was giving birth!) Therefore if it's my turn for the change, I have a get-up that helps me get through it. I wear disposable gloves, a mask and put a minty smelling salve underneath my nose before I get started.

I keep all this in the changing room and diaper bag if we are out of the house, so it only takes me a couple of seconds to get 'suited up.' My wife has become more and more insistent that I 'get over it' and 'grow up' because in her mind, I am not bonding with our daughter.

When she changes her, she likes to linger and talk sweetly to her and caress her--I don't because I find it very difficult to get through already. But I love spending time with my daughter otherwise--I hold her and read to her and play with her a lot. My mom and MIL came over the other day and I feel like my mom and my wife ganged up on me about this issue.

My mom said that I was acting like a toxic man and that she was ashamed of how I was acting. My MIL was more sympathetic but said that I'd get used to it and that exposure therapy was the best thing to 'help.' I don't think what I'm doing is wrong--again I have no issue changing the baby when needed--but maybe I am being really cold and stunting her development in some way??

Navigating parenthood’s messier moments can feel like walking a tightrope over a landfill. This new mom’s protective gear during diaper changes has sparked a heated debate about bonding versus personal boundaries. Her wife and mother argue it’s cold, but is it really harming her connection with her daughter?

The clash here highlights differing parenting styles. The mom’s squeamishness drives her to use gloves and a mask, ensuring she fulfills her duties despite sensory discomfort. Her wife, however, cherishes lingering, affectionate moments during changes, viewing them as bonding opportunities. Both perspectives stem from love, but they’re pulling in opposite directions.

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This situation taps into a broader issue: how sensory sensitivities shape parenting. According to a 2021 study in Frontiers in Psychology (frontiersin.org), sensory processing issues affect up to 16% of adults, often influencing daily tasks. For parents, this can amplify challenges like diaper changes, where smells and textures collide.

Dr. Elaine Aron, a psychologist known for her work on sensory processing sensitivity, notes, “Highly sensitive individuals may need adaptive strategies to manage overwhelming stimuli, but these shouldn’t compromise emotional connections” (hsperson.com). In this case, the mom’s gear allows her to care for her daughter without gagging, but prolonged use might signal detachment to her child as she grows.

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The solution lies in balance. The mom could gradually reduce her reliance on protective gear, perhaps starting with just the salve, to build tolerance while maintaining closeness. Open communication with her wife about their differing needs can also bridge the gap, ensuring both feel heard and valued.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s got some spicy takes on this diaper drama, served with a side of humor and candor. Here’s what the community had to say:

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[Reddit User] − NTA - god forbid that a loving parent NOT like the smell of fresh s**t.

[Reddit User] − **NTA.** Ask your wife and mom if they would prefer you gag and accidentally vomit on the baby?

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SomeoneYouDontKnow70 − NAH, but I think you need to realize that parenting entails discomfort in many respects, and this is the least of them. If you're having trouble enduring diaper changes, you're in for a heck of a ride. There's far more to parenting than simply holding, reading with, and playing with your baby.

literalgarbageyo − It sounds like you found a way to cope with a sensory issue while still providing your child with care. I don't see how that's a bad thing. NTA

[Reddit User] − NTA changing a kids diaper is not a 'bonding' experience. It's a job IMO and should be done as quickly and efficiently as possible.

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bulky_cicada − NTA, because you're still doing what needs to be done. But speaking from experience: your kid WILL notice if you're still putting on a mask when they're older--like around potty training or teaching them how to wipe--and it's entirely possible they'll internalize some message about their bodily functions. Source: my 4-year old, who now says 'Don't say anything!' because I told him his poop was stinky one time.

[Reddit User] − NTA i would do the same tbh, if you’re sensitive you‘re sensitive. Being a bad mom doesn‘t mean you‘re not willing to touch the s**t of your child.

[Reddit User] − NTA. You just don’t want to smell baby s**t man nothing wrong with that

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Ohcrumbcakes − NAH It’s fine right now, but what about when she’s potty training? You’re going to really struggle with accidents and helping her wipe her b**t. And she’ll be old enough to start feeling ashamed if you insist on putting things on to help her then. Right now? Right now she’s too young to notice or care.

But once she’s a toddler she will start to notice, and care, and it could affect her self esteem. So while right now there’s no harm being done, in the future there could be and it might be a good idea to start upping your exposure now where baby is still too young to notice if you end up puking or gagging.

IHaveSaidMyPiece − NAH I get you're squeamish, however seeing you put on your get up every time you have to do the simple task of changing your baby, would be irritating.. It's all just a bit much in my opinion.

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These Reddit opinions range from supportive chuckles to gentle warnings about future impacts. But do they truly capture the nuances of parenting with sensory sensitivities, or are they just hot air?

This tale of gloves, masks, and minty salve reminds us that parenting is as unique as the people doing it. Whether you’re team “suit up” or team “embrace the mess,” the love for a child shines through. But what’s the right call here? Should this mom push past her discomfort, or is her practical approach just fine? Share your thoughts—what would you do if you were in her shoes?

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