AITA for changing babysitters because friend lied?

In a small daycare filled with the chatter of children, a parent entrusts their daughter to a friend’s care, believing years of friendship guarantee safety. But when the friend spins a tale of her son’s hit-and-run accident to secure $500, only for the truth to unravel, trust shatters. The parent pulls their child from the daycare, sparking a confrontation over betrayal and lost income. It’s a stinging saga of friendship tested by deceit.

Readers feel the gut-punch of discovering a friend’s lie, especially when it risks a child’s care. This Reddit tale isn’t just about money; it’s about loyalty, accountability, and a parent’s instinct to protect. With Reddit rallying against the deception, let’s dive into the drama of this broken bond.

‘AITA for changing babysitters because friend lied?’

My friend has a daycare and picks up my child from school and looks after her until I can get off work and pick her up usually 2-3 hours later. It’s expensive but I trusted her because I’ve known her for a few years. A few months ago she told me her son was in a hit and ran and insurance won’t cover the car because they don’t have full coverage.

She told me her son didn’t have enough to repair the car etc and if I could help. I donated $500 to her to help her son get the repairs to at least be able to work. She was really happy and thanked me. I saw the son again recently and told him it sucked that his car was damaged and hopefully the money helped with repairs.

He looked at me strangely and told me it was the fault of the other driver so insurance paid for everything. I was shocked and clarified that it wasn’t a hit and run. He said no and that the car was totally repaired so everything is fine. I confronted my friend about it and she admitted she needed the money.

I asked for the money back but she said she already spent it. I don’t trust her after this because she lied to get sympathy and money from me and I’ve taken my daughter to another daycare. She called me to ask me about it and I told her my reasons.

I told her if she was willing to lie about her son’s accident I don’t trust her with my daughter. She told me I’m punishing her for having money problems. I do feel bad for her because my kid if one of 5 she babysits so she is out 20% of her income. AITA for changing babysitters?

Trust is the cornerstone of childcare, and this parent’s fallout with their friend exposes the fragility of personal bonds in professional roles. The friend’s lie about her son’s accident, exploiting sympathy for financial gain, was a calculated betrayal. The parent’s choice to switch daycares prioritizes their daughter’s safety over guilt about the friend’s income loss. The friend’s defense—claiming the parent is “punishing” her for money troubles—dodges accountability for her deception.

About 30% of small business owners, like daycare providers, face financial strain, per a 2024 SBA report. Yet, honesty, not manipulation, builds trust with clients. The friend’s actions risk her reputation beyond this one client.

Dr. Janis Whitlock, a trust researcher, notes, “Deception in close relationships erodes reliability, especially when stakes involve vulnerable parties like children” . Here, the friend’s lie undermines her credibility as a caregiver. Dr. Whitlock’s insight validates the parent’s distrust. The parent could document the incident and seek mediation if repayment is pursued. The friend needs to rebuild trust through transparency.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s dishing out some fierce takes on this one, blending outrage with unwavering support. Here’s the raw scoop from the community—bold and unfiltered.

BioGirl956 - NTA. If she’s lying about this, what else could she be lying about?

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[Reddit User] - NTA, at all. What kind of friend lies about such things to get $500, it's not pocket change. She's responsible for you no longer trusting her, you don't owe her anything, especially when you're leaving your kid with her and trusting her with your kid's care.

RememberKoomValley - NTA.. 1. You're not 'punishing' her. You're merely no longer rewarding her. 2. I wouldn't leave my children in the care of a liar either. She *used her kid* in the lie. She used her son's misfortune to get money for herself, and then she didn't even share it with him.. I would honestly just stop talking to her entirely. She's not your friend, she sees you as a resource.

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dreadedbeedee - NTA. NTA. NTA. She could have been honest about her money situation. Instead she LIED to manipulate you. Don't be guilted into keeping your child in her care. She made a choice and can live with the consequences.

capmanor1755 - Nope, she flat out hustled you. How'd she think you'd react??. You didn't leave because she has money problems, you left because she's a grifter. NTA.

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Virulencer - NTA. She can no longer be trusted. You made the right decision to take your kid elsewhere. If she wanted to keep your business and keep you as a friend, then she should not have tried to take advantage of your kindness. You aren't punishing her because she has money problems, you are punishing her because she is a terrible friend.

GrymDraig - NTA. She lied and lost your trust. No reasonable parent would leave their child with someone they don't trust.

dontcareatall246810 - NTA, who does that to a friend first off, and who doesn’t pay back once they were caught in a lie?! Hell no! Don’t go near her again!

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TCTX73 - NTA. She lied, that negates your ability to trust her as a person and even more so as a caregiver. Period.

MandaDian - NTA. You aren’t punishing her for having money problems, you are punishing her for scamming you. Did she do this to any of her other clients or only you? I’m guessing just you, so she not only scammed you out of money but she did so by taking advantage of your friendship.

These Reddit opinions are fiery, but do they capture the full weight of balancing friendship and childcare trust?

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This Reddit saga asks: when does a friend’s lie cross an unforgivable line? The parent’s choice to switch daycares protects their child but costs a friend’s livelihood. Trust, once broken, is hard to rebuild, especially with a child’s care at stake. What would you do when a friend’s deception shakes your faith in them? Drop your stories below—have you faced a similar betrayal in childcare or friendship? Let’s keep the convo going.

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