AITA for causing my entire family to be mad at my 16-year-old sister?

Picture a dining room thick with tension, a 23-year-old woman hunched over her laptop, trying to focus, while her 16-year-old sister stomps and hurls objects in a fit over waking up “early” at 11 am. For this big sister, temporarily back home to help her jobless parents during Covid-19, her little sister’s spoiled antics push her to the breaking point, erupting in a screaming match that drags the whole family into chaos. Was her outburst too much, or was it a wake-up call for a teen gone wild?

This Reddit saga dives into a household fray, where a pampered teen’s entitlement clashes with her sister’s frayed patience. With parents struggling and family dynamics on edge, her tantrums over a 10 am wake-up rule ignite a firestorm. Reddit’s got plenty to say, from cheers to cautions, so let’s unpack this domestic drama with a sprinkle of humor.

‘AITA for causing my entire family to be mad at my 16-year-old sister?’

I (23/F) have been staying with my mom and stepdad for the past few weeks due to Covid-19. I have my own place about 90 minutes away, but thought it would be a good idea to stay with them and help out with grocery bills etc. given the fact that both of them recently lost their jobs. My sister (16/F) lives with them.

She has gotten very accustomed to the 'only child lifestyle' as I haven't lived at home since she was about 12 and I about 18. My mom and stepdad were financially stable enough to allow her to live a very comfortable lifestyle,  inclusive of the constant supply of new clothes shoes, money whenever she asks, the latest phone, rides anywhere etc.

Point is, she is spoiled. Let me clarify, her being spoiled doesn't bother me, what bothers me is she has a very privileged attitude about her and thinks it is acceptable to be rude and disrespectful if she does not get what she wants. Due to school being moved online, her sleeping schedule got distorted.

She was waking up at 3pm/4pm everyday and not starting her work until then. My mom and stepdad decided to set a deadline for her to wake up by 10am. She was livid. It was rough for the first few days. She was constantly coming to me to complain like 'can you believe they are doing this to me?

' and 'they won't give me a good reason for this, I get my work done' I tried to stay neutral because my sister has a very short and bad temper. I tried to say things like 'well it's only for a few more weeks until school is out' or 'at least you will get your school work done and be able to do whatever you want for the rest of the day'

Then came this past Monday. We were both sitting at the dining room table doing work (I am working from home and finishing up school as well). For 30 minutes, I listed to he huff and puff, stomp around the house, throw things (including her laptop she is working on) solely out of anger that she was awake and it was 11am...

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I had had enough at that point and I screamed at her 'What is your problem?' Like I said, she has a very short temper and hates being yelled at so drama ensued. It was a screaming match, she threw down a chair and almost broke a window. My mom and stepdad got involved and she was also yelling at them. This went on for longer than I care to admit.

I was frustrated with her blatant disrespect for my mom and stepdad who have done everything they can to give her a nice life, especially considering that when I was her age, my mom was a single mom and barely getting by. AITA for yelling at my 16 year old sister for complaining about getting up early for school, causing a huge family fight, and resulting in no one talking to her?

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A teen throwing chairs over a wake-up time sounds like a sitcom gone wrong, but it’s a real headache for this family. The older sister’s frustration stems from her 16-year-old sibling’s entitled behavior, enabled by years of indulgence. Her screaming match, while heated, reflects a deeper issue: unchecked entitlement. Psychologist Dr. John Townsend notes, “Boundaries teach teens responsibility and respect, preparing them for adulthood”. The sister’s tantrums signal a need for firmer limits.

This taps into a broader issue: parenting styles and teen entitlement. A 2021 study in Journal of Youth and Adolescence found that permissive parenting can foster defiance and poor emotional regulation in teens. The parents’ leniency has fueled the teen’s outbursts, burdening the family.

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Dr. Townsend suggests clear consequences, like limiting privileges, to curb tantrums. The older sister could model calm communication, perhaps discussing her concerns with her parents to align on rules. Family therapy might help address the teen’s anger issues.

For now, the sister could redirect her frustration by setting personal boundaries, like working in a quieter space.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit brought the heat, dishing out support, warnings, and a few eye-rolls at the teen’s dramatics. From calls for therapy to shade at the parents’ permissiveness, here’s the raw scoop:

shaybells - NTA - You have every right to call out your sister’s spoiled behavior because it will only negatively affect her and your family in the future. She just isn’t used to the boundaries and is obviously throwing temper tantrums to try to get her way. Fuuuck that. Time for her to grow up, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it.

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azryael_ - NTA. It's really concerning that she's getting physically violent out of anger. Throwing and breaking things is not a good sign. Especially over something like having to wake up at 10AM. I'm sorry you're stuck in this situation.

theazurerose - NTA but please talk to your parents about getting your sister some anger management help before she actually hurts someone. She's either going to badly injure someone someday or it may be a pet, you never know until it's too late. Don't let her get away with being violently/physically abusive.

findingreddit - ESH - her for obvious reasons, your parents for their parenting, and you for loosing your temper with her and blaming her for the screaming match. No calm discussion comes following a scream. It’s ok to be frustrated that she’s acting spoilt (although technically it’s not your problem and your parents fault). Don’t stay silent and then snap.

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You had plenty of opportunity to calmly discuss your issue with her behaviour with her directly or with your parents before screaming at her. Would you have listened to someone else if the first you heard of their problem was them screaming at you?. A little word of wisdom - the louder you speak (scream), the less you’ll be heard.

wtfismylife6195 - NTA but as the adult, you could've used more tact. Maybe you did beforehand, we don't know the full story, but still. It should never have gotten that far though so it's a long time coming.

[Reddit User] - INFO: is there any reason she has to wake up earlier? Are you and your parents going out of your way to accommodate her schedule? Are her grades going down or something like that due to her sleep schedule?

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I just think, she’s 16 and these are stressful times, she should have the freedom of waking up at the time she wants if it doesn’t bother anyone. Regardless, this is something she would discuss like an adult and her attitude is unacceptable, so NTA

misstiff1971 - NTA, your parents are doing her no favors. She is not going to move forward in life with that attitude. Your parents need to get her behavior addressed ASAP.

chilledm1lk - ESH- shes being immature and youre being ridiculous. theres no need to scream at her. youre the adult so speak to her like a rational adult would or don’t speak at all

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thepinkprioress - NTA...your parents created this monster, and it is their problem to deal with. Sure, loud voices don’t usually help deescalate things, but I don’t blame you for snapping. You tried calmer methods by helping her understand why they made these decisions.. Your sister needs professional help.

alumadaun - NTA Granted you maybe should have been more calm, but I know how frustrating it can be to be trying to work while someone is throwing a tantrum nearby. The world does not revolve around your sister. The sooner she learns this, the better off she will be.

These takes are as fiery as the sister’s shouting match, but do they miss the nuance of family ties? Can a spoiled teen be reined in, or is this chaos here to stay?

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This isn’t just about a wake-up rule—it’s about a family grappling with entitlement and boundaries in a pressure cooker of a pandemic. The older sister’s outburst may have fanned the flames, but it shone a light on a teen spiraling out of control. Can they find harmony, or is this just the start of more drama? Have you ever snapped at a family member’s bad behavior? Share your stories—how do you navigate spoiled attitudes without a blow-up?

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