AITA for Grounding My Niece After Laptop Disaster?

 

In a cozy home buzzing with the energy of two young nieces, one woman’s laptop became the unexpected victim of an Oreo drink disaster. She’s not just babysitting; she’s practically raising her nieces, navigating the messy terrain of family obligations with love and a firm hand. When her carefully set rules were ignored, a week-long grounding sparked a fiery debate with her brother, who swooped in with unsolicited parenting advice. This tale of discipline and clashing family views unfolds with relatable stakes.

The incident, steeped in the everyday chaos of caregiving, pulls readers into a world where boundaries are tested, and love for kids battles the need for order. It’s a story that resonates with anyone juggling family duties, wondering where to draw the line between nurturing and enforcing rules. Let’s dive into her Reddit post to uncover the drama.

‘AITA for Grounding My Niece After Laptop Disaster?’

I have 2 nieces that live with me because they're parents are freaking assholes that rather spend their hours working and using me as a free babysitter. They refuse to pay me but I am okay with it because I love children and treat it giving me a practise for my children in future. Also I love the bonding I have with them.

When I agreed to babysit them it was under the condition that they'll allow me to discipline children if necessary. By discipline I dont mean physical punishment, just that it can be stuff like timeout, or maybe losing internet privileges for a day. Anyway earlier today, my elder niece (12) spilled some oreo drink all over my laptop.

The thing is, I have told her multiple times never bring food to the room where my laptop is at. I even added a yellow line on the floor, wrote 'NO FOOD ALLOWED' at the whiteboard at the entrance of the room. I told them before if I caught them doing so, they will be grounded for a week because my laptop contains highly confidential and irreplaceable documents.

I carried out my punishment and yesterday my brother came to visit (not her father), and when he heard that I had grounded her he got so mad and told me I should give her positive reinforcement instead of punishing. I told him to GTFO because as much as I love that, I believe children need a little discipline to learn what not to do.

Parenting other people’s kids is like walking a tightrope with a backpack full of Oreos—tricky but doable with clear rules. The woman’s situation, balancing care for her nieces with maintaining boundaries, highlights the tension between responsibility and authority. Her brother’s push for positive reinforcement ignores the need for consequences when rules are broken, especially when valuable property is at stake.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family psychologist, notes in his work on Family Psychology, “Consistent boundaries help children feel secure, even when they test limits.” The woman’s clear “no food” rule, marked by a yellow line and whiteboard, was a reasonable boundary. Her niece’s actions, at 12 years old, suggest a lapse in judgment, not malice, but consequences like grounding reinforce accountability without harm.

This situation reflects a broader issue: unpaid family caregivers often face criticism without support. A 2021 study from the National Alliance for Caregiving shows 53% of caregivers feel unappreciated, often by family members like the brother here. His advice dismisses her authority, undermining her role. Instead, supporting her approach—clear rules and fair consequences—would foster respect.

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For solutions, the woman could involve her nieces in rule-setting to build mutual understanding, as Gottman suggests. Backing up critical files, as one Redditor noted, is also wise to protect her work. Ultimately, her discipline method aligns with fostering responsibility, and she should stand firm while inviting constructive family dialogue.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of fist bumps and sharp takes like a lively family cookout. Here’s what they had to say:

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Bearmancartoons − NTA. Tell your brother he is more than welcome to babysit

Techsupportvictim − NTA. A 12 year old is capable of understanding the rules. And you made it pretty clear. Although you should have a backup of those documents if they are that valuable. It’s not an TA move so much as an super i**ot move not to. But over and above this.

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You should not have kids living with you full time for free and you don’t have custody. If they have dumped the kids on you then you likely have grounds to demand custody under “child abandonment” and then they don’t get a say at all. And they can’t just pop in without your approval.

Plus depending on the laws in your area they might have to pay you at least back child support for all this “babysitting” if not ongoing and it will be enforced by the courts including wage garnishment if necessary (don’t worry they generally can’t take all of someone’s pay but can do like 10-15% if the person is over a certain amount)

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RedditUser123234 − When I agreed to babysit them it was under the condition that they'll allow me to discipline children if necessary. Good. Responsibility and authority should go hand in hand. Someone who has authority but not responsibility is a tyrant. Someone who has responsibility, but not authority, is being taken advantage of in some way.. NTA

CertifiedRomeoBoy − NTA They broke the rules and your properties and since you are their caretaker, you gave consequences of rules being broken. Children shouldn’t be coddled too much because then it blends into their independent lives and they don’t have any respect for rules

awkward-velociraptor − NTA. I hope your brother doesn’t have kids. Positive reinforcement is great when kids do things that deserve praise. But you set a reasonable boundary and she disobeyed. It would be poor parenting not to enforce boundaries.

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caliph4 − NTA she’s 12 not a dang puppy. I have kids that age they totally understand and know better. You should be able to enforce rules when you are watching them.

Ladyughsalot1 − NTA. Apparently they aren’t parents so they have no business in dictating how you parent unless they want to be custodial parents in practice.

MuddlerMeddler − Info: Oreo drink? :O

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You're doing so much already. And the kid is 12, not 5. They can follow simple rules

Chance-Contract-1290 − NTA Positive reinforcement for disregarding your rules and damaging your property? How would that even work?

These Redditors rallied behind the woman, cheering her resolve while roasting her brother’s unsolicited advice. Many saw grounding as fair, though some urged file backups for safety. But do their fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the family drama?

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This tale of spilled drinks and family clashes shows the tightrope of caregiving—love and discipline must coexist. The woman’s choice to ground her niece wasn’t just about a laptop; it was about teaching respect for boundaries. Reddit’s support leans her way, but the brother’s critique opens a wider question about balancing encouragement with accountability. What would you do if you were in her shoes, juggling family duties and personal rules? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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