AITA for cancelling vacation less than 24 hours in due to my kid’s behavior?

A dream family vacation—sun, sand, and a cozy rental house—turned into a nightmare when two brothers’ relentless misbehavior pushed their mother to the brink. After a hellish car ride, rule-breaking at the house, and chaos at the beach, she slammed the brakes on the four-day getaway, packing everyone up less than 24 hours in. Her husband called it unfair, her mother begged her to stay, and the kids sobbed, but she stood firm: actions have consequences.

This Reddit saga crackles with the tension of parenting under pressure. The mother’s decision to ditch the vacation, driven by her sons’ defiance and her own exhaustion, left her family fuming. Was she wrong to pull the plug, sacrificing everyone’s fun to discipline her boys, or was her tough love a necessary wake-up call? Readers dive into this storm of family drama and hard choices.

‘AITA for cancelling vacation less than 24 hours in due to my kid’s behavior?’

My husband and I have 3 kids, 9M, 8M, and 3F. The boys have been driving us crazy. They fight like cats and dogs. We’ve had countless talks with them about respecting each other, to no avail. I understand sibling rivalry but it’s gotten to the point it’s disruptive to us all, every day..

I already told my husband last week I wasn’t sure if the vacation was a good idea. My husband shut me down pretty much immediately and things went ahead as planned.. First of all, the 3.5 hour car ride was (predictably) hell. Boys fighting and riling each other up the whole time.

Husband and I kept trying to reassure each other that things would be better once we got there and they would be too excited to cause trouble.. We were wrong. They had so many reminders of what not to do once we got to the rental house…so they do everything wrong from the get go..

Shoes on the white furniture? Check. Running in the house? Check. I turned my back for 2 seconds and the 8 y/o threw a box of chalk in the pool to keep his brother from getting it. We went out to lunch and they were out of control in the restaurant. 9M ran away from us in a strange place because he didn’t get his way.

We finally go to the beach and they are frankly being brats. Refusing sunscreen. Fighting over toys. Pushing their luck repeatedly going farther and farther out in the water than we told them to. Cursing.. By the time we got back to the house, it was around dinner time and I was fed up.

They were totally ruining it for everybody. Nothing had worked and I told my husband we needed to go home, for the reasons mentioned above, mainly that they needed to see a REAL consequence.. My husband still insisted it would get better.

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I put my foot down and told him that I didn’t even want to be there at that point so either I was leaving, or we all were. He got super pissed and told me it was ridiculous and unfair to our daughter. I actually agree with him but saw no other choice at this point.

Of course when I tell the kids they immediately burst into tears and are begging to stay, promising they will behave.. My mother, who came with us, was also near tears. She thinks her precious grandbabies do no wrong. She argued with me too, begging me to “just let it go” but I refused to budge.

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So, we left, less than 24 hours into a 4 day vacation.. Half the ride home was spent with them sobbing and my husband pretty much gave me the silent treatment the whole way. My mother decided to stay behind a little longer but then started randomly texting me about 30 minutes in,

asking if I was serious (she knew I was) and told me the whole reason she came was to spend time with the kids, so I had now “ruined it for everybody” and “they’re only little once”.. Here we are the following evening and pretty much no one likes me right now except my 3-year-old. Are they right? AITA?

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Parenting is no picnic, and this mother’s choice to cancel a vacation highlights the challenge of enforcing discipline when kids spiral out of control. Her sons’ behavior—fighting, ignoring rules, and risking safety—disrupted the trip, pushing her to deliver a stark consequence. Her husband’s optimism and her mother’s pleas to “let it go” clashed with her need to regain control, revealing a deeper issue: inconsistent parenting alignment.

Sibling rivalry and defiance aren’t uncommon, but unchecked behavior can escalate. A 2023 study by the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry found that 55% of parents struggle with consistent discipline for disruptive siblings, often leading to family stress. The boys’ actions, from throwing chalk in the pool to running off in public, suggest a lack of clear boundaries, possibly reinforced by past leniency.

Child psychologist Dr. Ross Greene notes, “Kids need predictable consequences to learn self-control, but parents must align on enforcement”. The mother’s solo decision, while bold, underscores a disconnect with her husband, whose dismissal of her concerns may have emboldened the boys. Her mother’s coddling further muddies the waters, undermining discipline.

To move forward, the parents need a united front: clear rules, immediate consequences (e.g., time-outs or lost privileges), and consistent follow-through. Family counseling could align their approach and address the boys’ rivalry. The mother might also explain her choice to her daughter to ease guilt.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s dishing out hot takes on this vacation meltdown, with most cheering the mom’s tough stance! The community backs her call for consequences but points fingers at her husband’s lack of support and the boys’ unchecked behavior.

Similar-Sense4085 - * * Snorts a line of birth control *

Snowflake10000000 - NTA. Actions have consequences. Your sons are learning a needed lesson.

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North_Badger6101 - NTA. The AH is your husband, who is questioning your authority in front of the kids. The other AH is your mother, who wants you to raise future serial killers, apparently.. No, you are enforcing discipline, as any good parent should.

Blacksmithforge3241 - op=nta for ending vacation.. but these behavioral problems are NOT just during vacation--CLEARLY. You need to get this under control, your kids don't seem to understand consequence and are making themselves vulnerable to harm. <<going farther and farther out in the water than we told them to.

IntrovertedBookMan - NTA. Kids need consequences, and it sounds as though your husband and mother have been too inclined to give them ‘one more chance.’ If you ever need to say to them again ‘Stop that, or we’re going home,’ they’ll know you mean it.

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Bulky_Mix3560 - Info: is this the first time you’ve given these kids consequences? Cause imma bet they’ve gotten away with this behavior before with out them

lookoutcomrade - YTA. Your kids are assholes, because they were raised by bad parents (assholes). They are under 10, I completely blame the parents. You need to figure your s**t out. Both you and your husband need to get on the same page with respect, responsibilities, and discipline.

blooger-00- - Am I correct in assuming that your husband doesn’t do the majority of parenting but steps all over your toes when it comes to discipline? I’d say NTA. Anyone who’s upset needs to be upset at the boys.

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longweekends - You’re not an a**hole for setting a boundary and giving a consequence.. You and your husband are assholes for failing to set *clear* boundaries *earlier* and to enforce *those*.. Boys fighting and riling each other up the whole time..

What was the consequence for this?. things would be better once we got there and they would be too excited to cause trouble.. In your 9 years of parenting, how’s this worked out for you?. Shoes on the white furniture?. What was the consequence?. Running in the house?.

What consequence did you give?. I turned my back for 2 seconds and the 8 y/o threw a box of chalk in the pool.. The f**k is an unwatched 8yo doing anywhere near a pool?. We went out to lunch and they were out of control in the restaurant..

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Why the f**k are you going out to a restaurant after a 3.5hr drive and all the poor behaviour?. 9M ran away from us in a strange place. Pretty concerning. If he’s neurotypical I’d say he’s o**rwhelmed and probably poorly disciplined..

We finally go to the beach and they are frankly being brats. The f**k are you doing going to the beach after all of the above? They’re over excited, poorly behaved. Why do they get the reward (and new stimulus) of the beach?.

Don’t even get me started on the concerning behaviour of them swimming away from you. You and your husband should never have had to cancel the holiday if you’d exercised one iota of judgement earlier.. ESH but, more importantly, you’re failing your kids.. Do better.

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[Reddit User] - I'm curious due to your husband's apparent lack of support ... does he mostly leave you to deal with the kids? Seems like he would get fed up otherwise, too. Either way, NTA, but you need your husband fully on the same page and engaged in disciplining your kids if you're going to turn things around.

These opinions spotlight the need for discipline, but do they offer a path to family harmony, or just rally behind the mom’s bold move?

This mother’s drastic decision to cancel a vacation wasn’t just about a ruined getaway—it was a stand for accountability in a family fraying at the edges. Her sons’ chaos demanded a response, but her solo call left her husband and mother reeling. A united parenting strategy could prevent future meltdowns, but her resolve sent a clear message. Would you ditch a trip to discipline kids, or push through for the sake of family? Share your stories below!

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