AITA for canceling an Airbnb after the host ignored me for 5 days and then getting blamed for “costing her money”?

Shirley Stafford Hours
Comments 0 Comments

Imagine counting down to a spring getaway, your bags half-packed, only to hit a wall of silence from your Airbnb host. That’s where one Reddit user found themselves, nervously messaging their host, Alex, with trip questions—only to get crickets for five days. With their travel dates looming, they turned to Airbnb, triggering a cancellation when Alex still didn’t budge. But the real twist? Alex later resurfaced, tossing blame like confetti, claiming the user cost her cash.

This isn’t just a booking gone bust—it’s a clash of expectations, communication flops, and the murky world of hosting responsibilities. Alex’s accusations left the user second-guessing: were they too quick to cancel, or was this all on the host’s radio silence? Let’s unpack this travel tale and see who’s really holding the baggage.

‘AITA for canceling an Airbnb after the host ignored me for 5 days and then getting blamed for “costing her money”?’

I booked an Airbnb for April 2-5. I first messaged the host, Alex on March 17th with a couple of questions about the stay. After multiple days with no response, I got nervous since the trip was coming up and I didn’t want to be stuck scrambling for a place last minute.

By March 22nd, after five days of silence, I reached out to Airbnb support to see what my options were. Airbnb automatically gave Alex 72 hours to respond. When she still didn’t, the booking was canceled. I found another place and moved on, assuming she just wasn’t an active host.

Fast forward to today, she finally messaged me—after the cancellation—and was upset. She claimed my booking never should have gone through because those dates were “previously blocked,” then blamed me for canceling and said I cost her a fee and blocked other potential bookings.

I explained the situation politely, but she kept going, making passive-aggressive remarks like “Sounds like I dodged a bullet!” I responded by pointing out that she had five full days to reply before I ever contacted Airbnb, and Airbnb’s own policy gave her another three days before canceling.

This wasn’t some impulsive decision on my part—it was a lack of communication on hers. Her final message basically implied that she had been on a vacation herself, had been fully booked for months, and that this situation had taught her a lesson.

It felt sarcastic, like she was blaming me for messing up her schedule when, in reality, she had plenty of time to respond but didn’t. At this point, I’m asking Airbnb to block her from messaging me because I don’t see why she’s still reaching out after everything was handled.

ADVERTISEMENT

Also, for any Airbnb hosts—does anyone know what this “fee” she’s talking about could actually be? I don’t see how she’d be charged for me canceling after she ignored my messages for nearly a week. So, AITA for canceling after she ignored me for five days and indirectly causing her to lose money? Or is this just a consequence of her lack of communication?

Booking a getaway shouldn’t feel like sending signals into a void, but that’s where this Reddit user landed. Their host, Alex, left them hanging for five days, forcing a cancellation when travel plans teetered. Alex’s later claim—that the user cost her fees and bookings—flips the script, painting the guest as the villain. But a host’s silence isn’t just rude; it’s a breach of trust that leaves travelers stranded.

ADVERTISEMENT

This mess taps into a bigger issue: the gig economy’s reliance on clear communication. A 2023 study by Cornell University found that 62% of Airbnb guests prioritize responsive hosts as their top booking factor (ilr.cornell). Alex’s five-day ghosting and failure to sync her calendar aren’t the user’s burden—they’re a host’s fumble. Her vague “fee” might refer to Airbnb’s cancellation penalties, but those hit hosts who don’t manage listings properly.

Hospitality expert Chip Conley, a former Airbnb advisor, emphasizes, “Hosting is about creating certainty for guests, not chaos” (chipconley). Conley’s take highlights Alex’s lapse—ignoring messages and mismanaging dates sowed the chaos here. The user’s cancellation wasn’t hasty; it was a practical move to secure their trip. Alex’s vacation excuse doesn’t erase her duty to respond or update her listing.

ADVERTISEMENT

For smoother stays, hosts should use auto-replies or co-hosts during absences, while guests can double-check reviews for responsiveness. The user did right by contacting Airbnb and moving on. Alex’s passive-aggressive jabs don’t rewrite the facts—communication is the host’s job, not the guest’s.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s crowd piled into this Airbnb drama like it’s a sold-out travel expo, slinging reactions with the zeal of seasoned wanderers. Picture a bustling airport lounge, folks swapping tales—some high-fiving the user’s quick thinking, others snickering at Alex’s nerve. Here’s the raw buzz from the comments, brimming with spice and a touch of shade:

Cheap_Paint8709 − How is it that she said your stay shouldn't have been booked because the dates were

UndebateableMom − NTA - and you should be contacting Airbnb about her aggressive response.

ADVERTISEMENT

realistSLBwithRBF − NTA.. Also you should contact AirBNB and request to block the host from messaging you. Send them copies of the unsolicited and uncivilized responses, and advise it hurts AirBNBs reputation with a combative host to potential clients.. She will no longer be an AirBNB host for long.

[Reddit User] − NTA. You canceled after the host ignored you for five days, despite your reasonable attempts to communicate. Airbnb’s policy backed you up after another 72-hour window. Her “fee” and lost bookings are her fault for not responding or managing her listing properly, not yours.

Spiritual_Project_33 − I manage a couple of hotels and I will say that AirBnB are the worst for not syncing. We've had this exact situation where the room is booked by someone else but it doesn't sync to AirBnB which can lead to double booking.

ADVERTISEMENT

And we do get charged a fee for what they call preventable cancellations. HOWEVER none of that explains why she didn't answer your messages, didn't regularly check her bookings were what she expected, and didn't do the basics of customer service.. You are NTA, you did exactly what you were supposed to.

longndfat − Naah she is just scamming you. Share that with Airbnb and let them deal with her.

SoMoistlyMoist − I find it hilarious that she is accusing you of blocking her from getting other bookings when she said that yours shouldn't have been accepted anyway because it was already blocked? This lady is so irrational and illogical she should not be allowed to be an Airbnb host. You are definitely not the a**hole, you took all the proper steps to ensure that your vacation turned out well.

ADVERTISEMENT

Fatkitty22 − NTA. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. The cancellation is all on her. She never responded to your question and can only blame herself.

un-albertoperez − She is not interested in making money through renting the place, why should you care?

pappa-g1968 − We are done with abnb way too much hassle for what you get.

ADVERTISEMENT

Redditors dubbed the user a savvy traveler, though a few called Alex’s logic a wild detour. These takes swing from sharp support to witty jabs, proving this tale’s got wings. It’s Reddit doing what it does best—dissecting the chaos with gusto.

This Reddit yarn spins a cautionary tale about trust and travel plans gone awry. The user’s cancellation wasn’t about malice—it was a lifeline when Alex left them adrift. Maybe they dodged a shaky stay, or maybe Alex learned to check her inbox. Either way, it’s a nudge to prioritize clear communication, whether you’re hosting or hitting the road. Been burned by a booking flop? Spill your story below—what’s your take on this host-guest showdown?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *