AITA for calling the police on a neighbor who destroyed my laundry?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A routine laundry day turned into a nightmare for a new tenant when an elderly neighbor doused their clothes with bleach, shouting “pervert” over shared-machine underwear. The Redditor’s work wardrobe was ruined, costing them dearly. Calling the police led to the neighbor’s 72-hour psychiatric hold, revealing her mental health struggles, but sparked backlash from her daughter and neighbors.

Now facing icy tenant stares and a push to break their lease, the Redditor questions their choice. Was involving the police too much, or a fair response to property damage? Let’s dive into this apartment drama and see what Reddit and experts think.

‘AITA for calling the police on a neighbor who destroyed my laundry?’

A new guy in an apartment and I was doing laundry in a shared laundry room. This old woman called me a pervert because I was washing my underwear in a shared washing machine. I had never heard of this before and she continued to mumble to herself. Then before I walk away she poor bleach into my clothes.

My work clothes and everything. I have to dress business casual for work so it would cost me money. I now have to freaking replace them.  I call the police on the lady for destroying my clothes as she continues to yell pervert at me. They come and say she’s in some sort of mental distress and are familiar with her and she leaves in an ambulance.

I contacted the landlord, who said he would replace my clothes and I thought that was that until a woman confronted me for calling the cops on her mom and she was placed on a 72 hour hold.  She tries explaining that her mom has issues and everyone else understands. I said it’s not my Circus so not my monkeys.

The daughter kept trying to talk to me and I told her to go away before I called the police on her as well. I contacted the landlord and I want out of my lease and I’m not living next to to crazy bats.  I feel bad because I have only been there less than two weeks but this is more than I signed up for and some of the neighbors are being crappy to me about what went down with the old lady and her daughter.

This laundry room clash is a messy mix of property damage and mental health complexities. The Redditor faced a shocking act—bleach poured on their clothes—paired with verbal accusations that turned a routine chore into a nightmare. The neighbor’s mental distress, while unfortunate, doesn’t erase the financial and emotional toll on the Redditor, who now faces replacing work essentials.

Dr. Gabor Maté, a mental health expert, writes in When the Body Says No (Dr. Gabor Maté’s website) that “unmanaged mental health issues can manifest in ways that harm others, even unintentionally.” The neighbor’s actions, likely driven by her condition, crossed a clear line, justifying the Redditor’s police call to ensure safety and accountability. The daughter’s defense, while emotionally driven, shifts blame unfairly.

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A 2022 report from the American Psychological Association (APA) notes that 1 in 5 adults with mental health conditions may exhibit disruptive behaviors in community settings. Here, the neighbor’s history suggests a pattern, yet the Redditor, new to the building, had no context for “everyone else understands.” Expecting tenants to tolerate property damage is unreasonable.

For solutions, experts recommend de-escalation where safe, but property damage warrants action. The Redditor could document incidents and work with the landlord to enforce tenant safety protocols, like supervised laundry room access. Dr. Maté suggests “compassionate boundaries” to protect oneself while acknowledging others’ struggles.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit jumped into this laundry saga with gusto, tossing out opinions like fresh towels from a dryer. From calling out the daughter’s misplaced blame to urging the Redditor to escape the lease, the community had plenty to say. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd, packed with support and a dash of snark:

[Reddit User] − NTA. If the daughter is so concerned, then she should be monitoring her mother.

effie-sue − NTA. You had no idea of knowing that this woman has mental health issues. Her behavior was very likely out of her control, but you handled it properly. What if she had thrown the bleach on you and it had gotten in your eyes or mouth?

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What if her behavior continued to escalate and she caused physical harm to other tenants or to herself?  It’s not this lady’s fault that she has mental health issues. But you do not have to walk around on eggshells because if it.

You have a right to use that laundry space to wash your clothes without fear of verbal or physical a**ault. Her family needs to get her more help.  I hope you’re able to find a more suitable living situation but in the meantime, you are under no obligation to turn a blind eye on this lady’s behavior.

SirMittensOfTheHill − NTA. The daughter is ridiculous - there is no way anyone should expect you to wash your underwear by hand or carry (just) your underwear to a laundromat to wash them. 'Everyone else understands' is not an acceptable response to someone destroying your possessions.

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Shoereader − NTA. As the daughter of former property managers I recognize the concept of putting up wlth 'that one crazy person in the building' - there's a kind of informal social network that can develop in older places where the tenants are mostly long-term. BUT not to the extent of allowing them to destroy your property! Good grief.

Psych holds are not applied lightly, and landlords do not cough up (I'm assuming) several hundred dollars in damages unless they're deeply concerned about lawsuits. Daughter would be much better off worrying about her mother's condition than harassing you.

Carliebeans − NTA. Obviously your neighbour has some issues, but these are not *your* issues and they should not interfere with you or your property. Perhaps the lady needs to be in supported accomodation rather than independent living.

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Teykos − NTA, but I probably would have asked if that was her offering to foot the bill on replacing your clothes every time her mother destroys them.

sanguine_sheep − NTA. The time for the daughter to ask for grace was before her mom destroyed your clothes, she should be apologizing to you not blaming you.

AtomicBlastCandy − NTA, you have the right to a peaceful existence in the apartment. You are correct that women's issues are not your own. I don't know if calling the police would have been the best option but I am not going to judge you for protecting yourself.. Bleach is no joke, there's a nonzero chance that the women would have thrown some on you.

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kkhjack − NTA. The reason she did it is irrelevant on your end. She destroyed your belongings, you took the next logical step. I hope she gets the help she needs, she certainly can’t keep going around hurting other people. Best of luck getting out of your lease

[Reddit User] − NTA it sounds like you are handling this well. Stick with your plan and see if you can get out of the lease.

These Redditors rallied behind the tenant’s right to peace, but some wondered if the police call was the only option. Do their takes hit the mark, or are they missing the full spin cycle?

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This story of bleach-soaked clothes and neighborly strife shows how quickly a shared space can turn chaotic when boundaries are ignored. The Redditor stood up for their rights, but the fallout—hostile neighbors and a guilt-tripping daughter—raises the stakes. Was calling the police the right move, or could empathy have softened the conflict? Share your thoughts—how would you handle a neighbor’s destructive outburst in your home? What would you do in this sticky situation?

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