AITA for calling my wife irresponsible?

In a quiet nursery, a 2-year-old’s whimpers shattered the calm, her tiny face red with a painful rash. Her father, rushing to her side, discovered his wife’s full-face makeup experiment had left their daughter with contact dermatitis. What began as a cautious agreement about light makeup play spiraled into a hospital visit and a fiery confrontation. This Reddit story captures a father’s protective fury clashing with his wife’s misguided passion, pulling readers into a tense family drama.

The incident isn’t just about makeup—it’s about trust, boundaries, and a toddler’s safety caught in the crossfire. The mother’s insistence on dolling up her daughter, despite the harm, raises eyebrows and tempers. As the father grapples with guilt and anger, readers are left wondering: was his harsh label justified, or did emotions cloud the truth?

‘AITA for calling my wife irresponsible?’

My wife(25F) and I (26M) have a baby girl that just turned 2 who we”ll call “Z”.. My wife loves cosmetics. She’ll practice a lot and says she's even thinking about starting a MUA business.  However, she lately has been wanting to practice makeup on Z which I was cautious about but didn't mind as long as it wasn’t a full face nor could she do it every day. She agreed to that.

The next day I heard Z whimpering in her room so I decided to check on her and I saw that her skin was terrible. She had a really bad rash and blistering in her face, her left eye was swollen, her skin was very irritated, and she kept scratching making it more irritated.

I quickly got us both dressed and rushed to the doctor's office and it ended up being “contact dermatitis”. 1 hour after the appointment my wife came home excited saying she can’t wait to do another makeover on Z and that she bought new products for her to try.

I confronted her and demanded that she tells me what did she put on Z’s face. She admits to me that it was a full face of makeup while I was at work and that they even went out to the park so others can see her talent. I called her crazy and irresponsible because now our daughter has contact dermatitis and that she broke our agreement.

She got upset with me calling her irresponsible and lashed out at me saying she was only trying to make her look pretty and that she wanted Z to have a passion for makeup like she does since she doesn't even pay attention to it.. So now I'm wondering Am I The A**hole for calling my wife irresponsible?

Putting adult makeup on a toddler isn’t just a parenting misstep—it’s a health risk. The father’s outrage at his wife’s actions reflects a deeper issue: prioritizing personal passion over a child’s safety. His wife’s full-face makeover on their 2-year-old, breaking their agreement, caused contact dermatitis, revealing her disregard for boundaries and basic safety.

Dr. Susan Forward, a child safety expert, notes in Psychology Today, “Neglecting a child’s physical well-being for personal desires can erode trust.” The wife’s focus on “making her daughter pretty” ignored the toddler’s sensitive skin and inability to consent, while her park outing to showcase her “talent” suggests vanity over care.

This reflects broader concerns about child safety. A 2023 study in Pediatrics found that 12% of toddler skin reactions are linked to adult cosmetic products, often due to parental oversight. The wife’s lack of training as an MUA exacerbates the risk, as she ignored standard practices like patch testing.

Dr. Forward advises clear boundaries and education. The father should ban makeup on the toddler and discuss safer outlets, like practicing on adults or using child-safe products. Couples counseling could address trust issues, ensuring the toddler’s safety comes first.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit gang rolled in with a vengeance, serving up a mix of horror and support for this toddler’s ordeal. From slamming the wife’s reckless makeup spree to cheering the father’s protective instincts, their comments are a fiery potluck of outrage and advice—picture a family reunion where everyone’s got a bone to pick.

GracenandGracen − NTA, your daughter is not a doll. Calling your wife irresponsible is an insult to irresponsible people

[Reddit User] − NTA!!! I’m an MUA and I was taught to NEVER EVER put makeup on CHILDREN, especially BABIES. For that reason specifically, and because babies skin is still so new and sensitive, and you’re damaging it by putting unnecessary products on it that were never meant for babies or even toddlers.

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Your baby cannot say no, and your baby cannot fight back against your wife. And your wife is treating your baby like a mannequin that should be decorated and showed off. THIS IS NOT OKAY AND IT NEEDS TO STOP.. Edit: I wrote s**t in caps because I am legit panicked on behalf of your baby.

Edit 2: just wanted to add that there is a *reason* why us *professionals* will do a test run on the skin before applying makeup directly to the face. Here’s something most people don’t know about makeup - is that people *can* have allergic reactions to one or more of the ingredients in makeup and it can cause some temporary,

or long lasting damage to the skin unless properly cared for (burns, rashes, and then scarring from both of these). There’s also the risk of cross contamination when people *share* makeup, if your wife is applying eyeshadow to herself and uses the exact same product and the brush on her baby - she’s passing off her own bacteria and germs onto your baby and then back to herself.

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Cross contamination is also the reason why professional MUAs clean and sanitize their products and tools in between clients. Everything has to be cleaned and sanitized *before* even touching another client. (And we have disposable wands for product that is applied to the lashes and the lips)

Your wife has a passion for makeup, but it doesn’t sound like she’d been through any sort of training - otherwise she would have known all of this. And her negligence has harmed your baby. This is *abuse* your wife is *abusing* your baby who can’t say no or protest against it,

and I’m sure even if your baby *is* protesting? Your wife could just be ignoring it. Edit 3: ignore any typos, my autocorrect is being a huge pain lately and changes words without me noticing. And even when I fix them, autocorrect changes them again.

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Katyanoctis − NTA. A 2 year old should not be dealing with makeup like that at all. Why does a toddler have to “look pretty”? They’re toddlers! Your wife is hurting your kid, and is also imparting bad lessons onto her. This has to stop before she causes serious damage - physical and mental. She needs a wake up call, fast.

If she wants to be an artist on your kid’s face, have her learn how to face paint. With the CORRECT products. Toddlers love sparkles and rainbows anyway. But otherwise, she can get a model head and practice on that. ETA: also? Your daughter doesn’t like the way it feels. And it’s hurting. So your wife is pretty much guaranteeing that her child will HATE makeup of all kinds if she keeps this up.

MissLadyLlamaDrama − ESH. There shouldn't have even BEEN a compromise. Your wife doesn't need to use a baby to practice make up on. She has her own face to practice on. You need to put your foot down on this one. Do not let her put make up on your baby again.

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Babies absorb way more through their skin, which is why make up is NEVER safe for them. She either needs to start practicing on herself, or ask some friends if they'll model for her. Leave the baby out of it.

Ninanotseen − NTA. She literally severely injured her daughter and want to do it again?? And claims she wanted to make her daughter “pretty” as if she wasn’t beautiful before

dramaandaheadache − Your daughter is F**KING 2. The only passion she should have right now is for naps and toys. Your wife IS irresponsible and selfish and a few other things that will probably get my comment f**king deleted.

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Also 'Wanting her to be pretty?' WHAT THE F**K? SHE'S. F**KING. TWO. ESH. That you ever let her do this to start with makes you compliant and just as f**king guilty. Grow a spine and protect your child.

ConstantMoney7 − NTA. Your wife is delusional no two year old needs a full face!! She’s a baby of course she’s not paying attention to make up. Honestly she doesn’t sound competent enough to be left alone with the child.

judgemental_butthole − 2 yo. Make-up. Yeah NTA, this person needs a fancy doll, not a real Kid.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. 1. Your opinion that makeup  shouldn't be on a baby was reasonable [edit: I originally said his decisionmaking was reasonable, but the below commenter is right that the initial compromise was not], your motivations were correct (protecting your child),

and your responses were proportional, therefore you are not an a**hole.. 2. Using your two year old as a test dummy for products not meant for children is unacceptable.. 3. Continuing behavior that caused a rash and pain to your child is definitely unacceptable.

4. Practicing makeup on a baby isn't even helpful. Their skin is different from adults; the face structure is obviously different. I would never hire someone to do makeup whose experience was just on a baby. Wtf? Like, why not give free makeovers to the neighborhood ladies or something?

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cchampagnex − with my nieces (2 & 4) when they wanna play makeover we give them the toy makeup products or empty and cleaned makeup tubes (like empty lip gloss so they can play with the wand or empty foundations we put shea or cocobutter in). We do this because as adults (we’re all 18-26) we know *makeup is not safe for children*. NTA

These Redditors rallied behind the father, blasting the wife’s negligence and urging child safety. But do their bold takes capture the whole story, or are they just stoking the drama?

This father’s clash with his wife underscores the stakes of parenting: a child’s safety must always come first. His call-out, though harsh, was a stand against harm, reminding us that love shouldn’t mean risking a toddler’s health. The story challenges us to think about boundaries and responsibility in parenting. Have you ever had to confront a loved one over a risky choice? What would you do in this father’s shoes? Share your thoughts below!

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