AITA for calling my wife a terrible mother due to the way she treats her body during her pregnancy?

A desperate husband watched his wife—pregnant with twins—dive into extreme “fasting,” barely eating or drinking just one cup of water a day at most. After repeated failed attempts to reason with her, he bluntly called her a terrible mother for endangering their unborn babies. She burst into tears, and his sister branded him cruel for the harsh words.

Stories of eating struggles during pregnancy always hit hard, stirring deep worry and urgency. The wife’s behavior clearly puts both her and the twins at serious risk, while the husband’s sharp reaction drew criticism for potentially worsening things. The online crowd largely supported his fear but unanimously called for immediate medical intervention over tough name-calling.

AITA for calling my wife a terrible mother due to the way she treats her body during her pregnancy?

It all stemmed from their shared fitness passion, but it crossed into unhealthy territory during this pregnancy.

I(29m) and my wife(28f) have been together for ten years and have one child(3f) and expecting two more daughters in February. My wife and I are absolutely obsessed with fitness,

but my wife takes it to a whole new level compared to me, especially during this pregnancy. Back in November, my wife discovered “fasting” and has been using it as...

but realistically what she is doing is closer to an eating disorder then fasting since she misses the main point of water fasting which is DRINKING A LOT OF WATER,...

He tried convincing her multiple times, to no avail.

I have tried explaining to her that her eating habits are not healthy at all, especially during pregnancy but it never works. On Christmas, my wife barely ate anything,

but still decided that she would go on a fifteen day fast. I told her she should see a doctor before she starts it, but she didn’t listen. She is...

The final confrontation exploded with heavy words.

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This morning I had one more conversation with her about it and I blatantly told her that she is a terrible mother for treating her body this way and explained...

My wife of course didn’t take the terrible mother comment well and cried for a few minutes after hearing it.

Today I called my sister asking for advice on how to handle this situation, after hearing about what I told my wife my sister called me cruel and said I...

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not name-call. This situation is probably way above this Reddit’s paygrade, but me being blunt and cruel with my wife is literally the only option I have left. AITA?.

Additional details highlighted the severity and isolation.

EDITIT: had some free time so I am going to clarify a little,. I can't come to my wife's appointments due to Covid,

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my wife skipped her most recent appointment, which of course I told her not to do, but there is only so much I can do,

my wife is not close with her family(long story) and doesn’t have many friends, so my daughter and I are basically the only support my wife has right now.

I have recommended she see therapist or a doctors in the past multiple times, but she usually doesn’t take it well( a lot of crying)

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This strongly indicates a severe eating disorder, made far more dangerous in the late stages of a twin pregnancy. Extreme restriction and dehydration can lead to preterm birth, low birth weight, long-term developmental issues for the babies, or even miscarriage or death for mother and children.

Medical guidelines emphasize needing extra calories (at least 600 more daily for twins) and ample fluids in the third trimester—no intentional weight loss or fasting. Severe dehydration alone risks contractions, low amniotic fluid, or shock.

Eating disorders often relapse or intensify during pregnancy due to body changes. Experts advise immediate OB involvement, eating disorder specialists, and therapy—criticism only heightens shame without addressing the core. Contact her doctor directly, seek emergency care if necessary, and use resources like the National Eating Disorders Association helpline. This demands professional help now to safeguard the family.

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See what others had to share with OP:

The community expressed extreme concern, unanimously urging immediate medical action while criticizing the husband’s wording.

MildlyAnnoyedMother − NTA but this really needs to be your hill to die on. Mental health help or separation so your children have a healthy example for exercise

and eating habits at least half the time. Usually baby will take whatever it needs but that's for people who are eating at least semi regularly.

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The amount of stress your wife is putting on her body may lead to a stillbirth. At the moment, her mental health may be poor enough that even having a...

starrynightt87 − So this is really, terribly worse than you are making it out to be. Your wife is pregnant with twins and starving herself and dehydrating herself.

Her body is going to do anything possible to feed the babies, up to sucking every possible nutrient and all fluid out of her body to keep them alive. I...

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Extreme dehydration can lead to hypovolemic shock in pregnant women, which can k__l her and her babies. It can also cause electrolyte imbalances and heart attacks.

She can have babies that are dangerously underweight and malnourished. She can become dangerously underweight and malnourished, which can stress her heart and cause major heart and kidney damage.

Pregnant women need MORE fluids, not less, more food, not less, more vital nutrients, and they are medically more vulnerable.

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Stop calling your wife names and call her OBGYN and get her into the labor and delivery ER now if she is drinking at most a cup of water a...

She has an eating disorder that is putting her life at risk and needs immediate medical and psychological intervention.

But you need to do something before she fasts herself into a miscarriage.

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HG_TheMuffinMan − Dieting while on a pregnancy holy s__t tell the f__king doctors and get her help

mymindisbroke − If you aren't calling 911 now you should be

Several pointed out the eating disorder and said name-calling makes everything worse.

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Gungabrain − 70% NTA 30% YTA. Hear me out. Your wife sounds like she has disordered eating, if not a full-blown eating disorder. She needs psychiatric help.

Telling her she is a terrible mother probably reinforces her self-loathing that feeds into her rigidity with food.

You are absolutely right he be concerned-the baby can have all kinds of developmental problems including a lifetime of chronic medical conditions

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(lots of research on fetal malnutrition and struggle with metabolic and cardiovascular problems etc later in life. The term is fetal programming & the Barker hypothesis).

You sound like you love your wife and care about her, so your comment was likely out of exasperation or frustration. She needs psychiatric help STAT.

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I would 100% push her to get specialized therapy for treatment. ESH for bullshitting yourself that she doesn’t have an eating disorder fully.

VarnishedTruths − ESH Name-calling isn't going to help. Being "blunt and cruel" isn't going to help. You're making things worse. What your wife is doing is super dangerous for her...

Please get help from actual professionals. Call her OBGYN, call her PCP, ask for referrals for psychiatric treatment before she does irreparable harm.

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[Reddit User] − “We’re obsessed with fitness. ” No, she has an eating disorder that she disguises as being “fit. ” Dangerous and irresponsible to the health of the babies...

stares-motherfuckily − ~~Don't call a mom a terrible mom. ~~ y'all right, some moms are terrible moms. What I meant was he shouldn't insult her.

She needs help. She needs to stop. She needs medical attention and some sense knocked into her head. She is a mom to another kid. She may not be a...

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Again, you guys are right in saying that she's a terrible mom to the twins that she's growing *two* babies inside her. She's being a terrible mom to the babies...

It's dangerous. I didn't mean to minimize the severity of the situation or the fact that some mom's f__king suck. Thanks for pointing it out to me

and expecting two more daughters in February Is she pregnant with twins and fasting? Talk to the doctor. I'm not judging because this situation is probably way above this Reddit’s...

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A few backed the husband’s concern strongly, even if the delivery was rough.

wellknownflexxer − NTA gotta hit ppl with reality sometimes especially when their decisions affect others. She could literally be delivering two corpses if something isn’t done

KatFrog − First, this is about the reddit paygrade. ​ Second, NTA for wanting to help your wife. You tried everything, and only called her a terrible mother when nothing...

Honestly, she is a terrible mother if she starves herself while pregnant. I have no advice, other than to maybe talk to her OB about the fasting. But you need...

[Reddit User] − I'm going to get downvoted to hell, but it might be time to think about having your wife forcibly committed. Eating disorders are serious,

and require much more than you calling her "a bad mother" (which btw, was a really bad move, but I understand why you did it).

We can talk all we want about a woman's bodily autonomy, but she is 31 weeks pregnant, and depending on where she lives, there could be real repercussions for stillbirths...

It's along the lines of a woman who uses drugs while pregnant. Whether I agree with them or not, many places recognize the rights of a fetus after a certain...

and what she is doing is actively harming them, and harming herself. She also seems to want these children, and I can't imagine the grief

and trauma she would experience if she lost twins as a result of a mental illness that she isn't currently able to recognize. This is serious. Talk to a doctor....

[Reddit User] − NTA. The way you said it was harsh, but I think its warranted since 1, you've already had this discussion with her before and 2, she's literally...

RomanBourbaki − NTA. She is way out of line and common sense obviously isn't something she possesses. I agree with some of the other comments, sure it could have been...

Avebury1 − Op needs to call her OB doctor and let him/her know what is going on and that he is concerned about the impact her behavior will have on...

This story serves as a heartbreaking warning about how eating disorders can quietly destroy family happiness, especially in vulnerable pregnancy stages. While the husband’s fear is utterly justified, harsh words only add more pain. The priority now is professional intervention to save mother and babies. What would you do if a loved one spiraled into something this dangerous?

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