AITA for calling my sister’s husband a piece of s**t because he’s representing my ex in our divorce?

A family dinner, meant to be a warm reunion, turns into a battlefield when a woman’s divorce becomes the topic of an unwelcome jab. Two months into seeking a divorce, she learns her sister’s husband, a solicitor, is representing her ex a betrayal that stings deeply. At her parents’ table, surrounded by clinking plates and uneasy glances, his taunts about her losing everything push her to the edge, sparking a fiery outburst that shocks the room.

Her sharp words, though harsh, echo the hurt of seeing family take sides in her personal struggle. The sister’s anger and the daughters’ wide-eyed stares only deepen the tension, leaving everyone reeling. This Reddit tale dives into the mess of family loyalty, professional boundaries, and raw emotions, pulling readers into a drama where personal and professional lines blur with explosive results.

‘AITA for calling my sister’s husband a piece of s**t because he’s representing my ex in our divorce?’

I asked my ex for a divorce two months ago and I found out a week later that my sister’s husband was going to be his solicitor. I wasn’t completely surprised as my ex has helped his career a lot but I was still hurt when my sister told me.

I’ve avoided him since finding out but my parents invited everyone over for dinner and I missed them so I went. I tried really hard to bite my tongue but he kept referring to me as my ex’s wife and told me that if he was me, he would stay married because I was going to lose a lot if I divorced my ex.

I ended up telling him he was a real piece of s**t in front of everybody, including his daughters. My sister got angry at me for saying that in front of her daughters but I was so mad I told her I didn’t care because he was a b**tard so now she's pissed at me.. AITA?

This family clash reveals a tangled web of loyalty and ethics. The woman’s outburst, calling her brother-in-law a derogatory term, stemmed from his provocative comments at a family dinner, where he taunted her about staying married to avoid divorce losses. His role as her ex’s solicitor, despite their family ties, feels like a betrayal, amplifying her emotional strain. A 2022 UK Law Society report notes that solicitors must avoid conflicts of interest, especially with close family.

Dr. Jane Adams, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Family members in professional roles must maintain clear boundaries to preserve trust”. The brother-in-law’s decision to represent the ex, paired with his dinner table jabs, crosses ethical and personal lines, likely fueling the woman’s reaction. His comments, shared in a social setting, risk breaching client confidentiality, a serious professional misstep.

This situation reflects broader issues of navigating family ties during legal disputes. The brother-in-law’s involvement suggests either poor judgment or deliberate provocation, while the sister’s defense of him prioritizes her immediate family over her sister’s pain. The woman’s outburst, though regrettable in front of children, was a response to being cornered. Her parents’ silence at the dinner raises questions about their role in allowing this tension to unfold unchecked.

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The woman should consult her solicitor to explore whether her brother-in-law’s role constitutes a conflict of interest, potentially disqualifying him. A calm discussion with her sister, away from heated moments, could clarify intentions and rebuild trust. Setting boundaries, like avoiding family events with her brother-in-law for now, may protect her peace.

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit community backed the woman, slamming her brother-in-law’s decision to represent her ex as an ethical breach. They criticized his provocative dinner comments as unprofessional and cruel, especially in a family setting, and supported her reaction as justified, though some noted the impact on his daughters. Many urged her to report him to a regulatory body, citing potential conflicts of interest.

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Commenters also questioned the sister’s loyalty and the parents’ neutrality, suggesting the woman protect her privacy and focus on her legal team. The consensus was clear: her brother-in-law’s actions were inappropriate, and her outburst, while heated, reflected the pain of betrayal in a vulnerable moment.

ghostforest - NTA. Do not socialize with your BIL or give him or your sister access to information about you right now. It could be used against you. I'm frankly shocked that your BIL took on this case given the proximity of relationship. Has he ever given you legal advice or represented you in any way?

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Because that could be enough to disqualify him from representing your husband if you're in the US. Make sure your lawyer knows about your BIL and any previous legal relationship you may have had, even if it seemed casual to you.

It may not be legal for your BIL to represent a client against you.Your BIL is an ass and if he didn't want his daughters to know that, he shouldn't have been an ass. Your sister should be ashamed.. ETA: thanks for the awards!

poweller65 - It seems like an ethical breach of client confidentiality to be discussing the case with other people and especially with op there as the opposing client in the divorce

Ksscustomer - NTA. Sounds like he could be breaking some rules by doing this, like he could get confidential information through your sister etc.. Might be able to get him removed and /or screwed for misconduct

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LouisV25 - I’m a U.S. lawyer. Here that is a conflict of interest. Call your local bar or ask your attorney if that is a conflict of interest in your country. If it is, you can have him removed from the case WITHOUT hurting his career. That is pure BS!

no_good_namez - Do you have a solicitor of your own? If so, he should not be communicating directly with you on this matter and may be subject to sanctions. Representative or not, it is vile to bombard you at family dinner with unsolicited marital advice that sounds threatening. It’s also gross he thinks you should stay in a marriage for gain. NTA

Lemoneecrush - NTA. I can almost get past him being his lawyer if they’re close but even that feels gross as your ex should understand that he is your family member and should not be involved.

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Where I go complete NTA is his bringing up information that he only knows because of his professional relationship with your ex in a personal setting. It’s rude, wrong and probably could get him in trouble with a judge.. INFO: How do you parents feel about this? Feels really slimy for them to just be chill about it.

ivanthemute - NTA and a massive ethics breach. Yes, he's family, and that alone is enough for him to be censured by the state bars here in the US.

As you said 'solicitor' and not 'lawyer,' are we to assume this is in the UK or another commonwealth nation (like Australia?)

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[Reddit User] - NTA he should have said it would be a conflict of interest and deferred him to another ~~lowater~~ lawyer.. His comments at dinner were unwarranted and he should have kept them to himself.. Edit-Mistype

usenamessuckass - Your ex asked your sister’s husband to represent him. Your sister’s husband said yes.. So you *and* your sister have terrible taste in men. At least you’re getting rid of yours.. NTA.

PlatinumHumingbird - NTA 1, surely that's a conflict of interest and not allowed due to inside knowledge. 2, that's really bad judgment on his part saying how 'great he is at his job' and talking about your case and trying to make you nervous. Personally, I'd find out who you could report him to as I don't think this whole situation is fair on you at all, not legal from his side.

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This story crackles with the tension of family loyalty colliding with professional ethics. The woman’s sharp words to her brother-in-law, though harsh, sprang from the hurt of his taunts and his role in her divorce. While the presence of his daughters complicated the outburst, his actions invited the conflict.

It’s a raw reminder of how personal and professional boundaries can blur, leaving wounds. Have you faced family taking sides in a personal battle? Share your thoughts in the comments and join the conversation about navigating loyalty and fairness.

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