AITA for calling my friend stingy because she asked someone to Venmo her 77 cents?

Seventy-seven cents doesn’t sound like much—until it becomes the reason a friendship feels tense. One woman found herself questioning everything after her friend insisted on being Venmoed exactly $0.77 following a small bookstore purchase. To her, it wasn’t about the money. It was about what that level of precision meant between people who are supposed to trust and care about each other.

While some friend groups casually rotate who pays for coffee or dinner, Nadine operates differently. Every shared expense is tracked. Every cent is requested. When the 77-cent moment unfolded in front of another friend, it left the poster stunned—and slightly embarrassed. The online community quickly weighed in, debating whether Nadine was simply consistent or whether something about this approach felt undeniably cold.

AITA for calling my friend stingy because she asked someone to Venmo her 77 cents?

The tension had been building long before the bookstore incident

Any time money is exchanged or she pays for something, Nadine will immediately Venmo request us for the exact amount owed. If she doesn’t immediately then she does it pretty...

None of my other friends are like this, it’s usually “I got lunch, can you get the coffee?” or “I got drinks last night, can you do dinner tonight?” and...

Most of my friends and I are in the same income bracket, and Nadine actually makes a little more than me but by like $2k a year so she's not...

Then came the moment that truly caught everyone off guard

Well last week me, Nadine, and Chloe were at a used bookstore. Chloe and Nadine had gone out and gotten coffee before and Chloe said she’d pay Nadine back.

Nadine wanted a copy of The People We Meet on Vacation that was like $2.50 or something, so Chloe said she would get the book to pay her back for...

The rest was .77 cents!!! Not even a dollar!! I said “Are you serious right now? It’s 77 cents.”. Nadine was in fact being serious and said it’s 77 cents...

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and I’d like to be paid back. Chloe and I locked eyes for a second and Nadine saw and said that we’re not entitled to her hard earned money..

Trying to explain her discomfort, the poster pushed back

I said no of course we’re not entitled to her money, but’s .77 cents between friends and that I do not have any other friends who do this. That it’s...

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I brought up how a while ago she asked if I wanted to split sandwiches with me because they were both sounding good and I agreed and she said that...

The disagreement ended with hurt feelings on both sides

Nadine got super defensive and said again that she works hard for her money and she doesn’t just give it away, and if we have a problem with it, too...

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I have never had a friendship like this, money has always just passed between friends without issue. And for me personally while I don’t do this and none of my...

even if someone who made less money than me didn’t pay me back for some things I wouldn’t chase them down.. . But am I the a__hole and was I...

At its core, this situation isn’t about 77 cents. It’s about values. For the poster, friendship means flexibility and trust. For Nadine, fairness seems tied to exact accounting. Neither approach is inherently wrong, yet when expectations clash, even tiny amounts can feel loaded with meaning.

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Some people develop strong money boundaries because of past experiences. Financial stress in childhood, being taken advantage of before, or simply having a highly structured mindset can all shape behavior. What feels cold to one person may feel responsible to another. Nadine may see herself as consistent and principled rather than stingy.

Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute once explained, “Small things often are the big things in relationships.” Minor recurring tensions can slowly build resentment if left unaddressed. In friendships, repeated moments of discomfort around money can quietly shift the emotional dynamic.

The practical solution here might be simple: stop mixing finances. Separate checks. No sandwich splitting. No rotating payments. This removes the friction entirely. At the same time, an honest but calm conversation could help clarify intentions. Instead of labeling behavior as stingy, expressing how it feels emotionally might open the door to understanding. In the end, compatibility around money habits matters more than who is technically correct.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Many users supported the poster, saying the behavior felt excessive

butterflyprinces872 − NTA who would want such transactional friendship that includes demanding 77 cents…stick with your other friends and let her go.

likeahike − NTA, I'm Dutch, we have a well deserved reputation for being frugal and even I think this is uncalled for. You don't nickel and dime your friends.

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scw1224 − NTA. I wouldn’t ever split another thing with her. That’s annoying as hell, and I don’t care what her reasons are.

Mean_Parsnip − NTA I dated a dude like Nadine it was exhausting. I live in a 'it all evens out in the end' kind of place.

lemjne − NTA. Life is too short to be friends with someone who acts like you're trying to steal from them. You're not forgetting your wallet, or making her pick...

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You're trying to roughly exchange same amounts when treating each other. We had a friend who chased down and badmouthed a waiter after he accidentally charged her $1 when it...

Instead of letting us give her the $1, she went and yelled at him. Life is too short to be friends with someone who's an a__hole like that over money.

Others took a more balanced view, arguing that consistency matters

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Unicorn_dreams42 − NAH. Shes consistent, shes asks every time so its a personality thing. Shes not even thinking about the amount, just that there is some.

I have friends that pull out the calculator every time theres a check so every one knows what they owe to the penny and the tip is exact. Just realize...

I dont think you're wrong for talking to her about it, friends should be able to talk to each other. Maybe dont call each other names. Personally, Im more like...

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[Reddit User] − NAH. To be clear, I could not be her friend. But unless I'm mistaken she also fully pays others back with the same meticulousness so while it's...

I'd simply distance myself and instead surround myself with friends with whom I share more compatible views on money with.

Lopsided_Put4682 − I think I'll go with NAH. I won't say it was wrong of you to bring it up. I live in a country where wages are significantly lower...

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and even I would think it'd be weird to ask for a friend to pay you less than a dollar. That being said I have no idea what was Nadine's...

Even if nothing drastic has happened as long as she isn't a h__ocrite who mooches on others while fighting for every cent of her money, she is technically in her...

fabledangie − NAH, I get both. A few bucks here and there adds up, but I'm sure I've lost track of a few bucks here and there in my favor.

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So that's one way to deal with it. But paying everyone back exactly whether it's .70 or $20 is also a fair way to deal with it. It just depends...

You know how Nadine prefers to deal with it so expect and respect it when it comes to her. You can be loosey goosey with your other friend. I just...

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[Reddit User] − I am so close to a N T A here, but I'm gonna have to say NAH. Nadine sounds like a friend I would NOT like to...

Someone that stingy/money conscious might have had some severe trauma around money, whether experienced as deprivation as a child

or hearing stories from relatives scratching out an existence in poverty. Either that, or she has had so-called "friends" stiff her on money before.

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You can choose to distance yourself from Nadine (I would), or decide to limit the number of times that you engage with her on anything related to money.

Despite my distaste for someone that preoccupied with small sums of money, I don't think anyone is in the wrong here. Nadine was owed money, however small the sum, and...

A few commenters lightened the mood with practical or humorous takes

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FerretAres − Why do you bother sharing costs if settling up afterwards is such a drama? Just stop consolidating your bills and this problem goes away. “No nadine buy your...

Red_Octi − INFO: Is Nadine consistent with this behavior when the debt is not in her favor? For example if you pay for her and she owed you a dollar...

Edit: NTA, sounds like Nadine isn't fair or consistent in how she applies rules around money and repayment.

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She's allowed to have and set her own expectations around money, but she becomes an a__hole when the rules are different for her.

JJQuantum − NTA. It’s ridiculous. Just don’t do anything involving split money with her anyone. When you go eat with friends, she gets her own check and everyone else splits.

When she asks to split sandwiches just say no thanks. Don’t do anything involving split money with her whatsoever.

many_hobbies_gal − WOW! NTA, but I certainly would reconsider having her pony up for any little thing and just take care of my own expenses at the time

and stop splitting or sharing what amounts to "the check with her. " She has a right to be made whole, I don't dispute that, but man, this is really...

[Reddit User] − It's all about numbers here. If Nadine were asking to be paid back what was owed to her, and it amounted to $5 or more, yes, we...

However, .77 cents is the number . . . not even a whole dollar. It is, indeed, a level of "exactness" that one does not expect in friendships . ....

maybe with your bank teller, a random person on Facebook marketplace, or the grocery store cashier, but not a friend.

The best way to deal with this issue of treating friendships as purely transactional in nature is to disengage from the transactional aspect of it entirely. Do NOT put yourself...

If it means that you have to eat a whole sandwich . . . not let Nadine cover your coffee costs and order something cheap that you can pay for...

Nadine and your friends must have the cashier split the bill . . . not evenly . . . . but based on what each person ordered . . ....

At some point, the inconvenience of her "exactness" when all of these doors are closed may come full circle to affect her, and then at that point, she may understand...

but until then, slowly build her self-awareness by refusing to engage in these types of transactional situations with her. When she questions why you "won't split a sandwich" . ....

"why you all insist on covering your own costs independently without the promise to even up later" . . . then you may respond in one of the following ways:...

* I just operate on a whole different level of precision with friends than you do . . . and your way just is too stressful.

* I think it is better for all of our friendships to do things this way, given past expectations. * I just have learned that our friendship is better on...

In the end, this debate isn’t really about spare change. It’s about expectations, comfort levels, and what friendship should feel like. Some people thrive on precision and fairness down to the cent. Others believe trust means letting small amounts slide. Neither side is automatically wrong, yet compatibility matters. Would you Venmo someone 77 cents without a second thought—or would that tiny request change how you see the friendship?

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