AITA for calling my fiance selfish for refusing to let my dad walk me down the aisle?

Picture a young bride-to-be, her heart set on a cherished moment: walking down the aisle arm-in-arm with her devoted dad, the man who juggled 14 jobs to raise her. The wedding plans sparkle with promise, but a storm brews as her fiancé drops a bombshell—he wants someone else to take her father’s place. Tensions flare in this cozy family tale, where love clashes with pride. Can a daughter’s dream withstand her fiancé’s demands, or will their rift cast a shadow over the big day?

This Reddit saga unfolds with raw emotion, pulling readers into a whirlwind of loyalty and love. The young woman’s bond with her father, a single parent who’s been her rock, stands at odds with her fiancé’s growing resentment. Readers can’t help but wonder: is this a simple misunderstanding or a red flag waving furiously before the vows?

‘AITA for calling my fiance selfish for refusing to let my dad walk me down the aisle?’

My fiance (26m) & I (23f) have been together for over 2 years. I don't have a big family, just my dad and my older sister. My dad has always been a single parent devoting his life for me and my sister and working over 14+ jobs in the past 6 years to provide for us.

I love my dad and we have the best relationship anyone could hope for. However, my fiance does not get along with him. They have different opinions on so many things. For example, my fiance one time suggested to my dad to sell the truck he has because it's been sitting there for years.

My dad got offended because this is my grandfather's truck and he has no monrg to get it fixed. Another example, my fiance got mad at my dad at a party for talking about his struggle after my mom's death and accused him of collecting symapthy points but dad said that he always talks about it casually.

Their recent disagreement was when my dad refused to give my fiance money to contribute to the wedding. My fiance complained but I said that my dad isn't obligated to pay for the wedding. Yesterday. my fiance told me to look for 'someone else' to walk me down the aisle and asked why.

He said that my dad refused to help with the wedding and he should be grateful he's still invited. I got upset and argued that for one, my dad refused to contribute because he has no money, he can not offord to pay. And two, just like any bride I want my dad to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day.

He threw a fit saying that I was trying to ruin his mood and get him upset on our wedding day but I called him selfish for wabting to take away the moment I always dreamed of (sounds cliché but I'm like that) over his disagreements with dad. It's not fair given the ,e and my dad are on great terms.

He yelled at me for calling him selfish although it's our wedding not just mine and said that I clearly don't give a hoot if he's uncomfortable then walked out.. He's fuming and is insisting I'm being innconsiderate and projecting on him when I called him selfish.

Wedding planning can feel like navigating a minefield of emotions and expectations. This bride’s clash with her fiancé over her father’s role reveals a deeper struggle over respect and family ties. The fiancé’s insistence on sidelining her dad—over petty disagreements and financial constraints—raises eyebrows about his priorities. Is he protecting his vision for the wedding, or is he flexing control? The bride, caught in the crossfire, defends her dream of a traditional moment, but the fiancé’s reaction suggests a troubling lack of empathy.

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This situation mirrors a broader issue: the power dynamics in relationships. According to a 2023 study by the American Psychological Association, 68% of couples report conflicts over family involvement in wedding planning, often tied to deeper issues of control (apa.org). When one partner dismisses the other’s family, it can signal a need for dominance rather than partnership.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Respect for your partner’s family is a cornerstone of trust in a relationship” (gottman.com). Here, the fiancé’s disdain for the bride’s father—mocking his grief and shaming his finances—suggests a lack of respect that could spill into the marriage. His demand to replace the father in the ceremony feels less about logistics and more about asserting authority.

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For the bride, a solution lies in open communication. Couples counseling could help unpack the fiancé’s discomfort while validating her emotional ties to her dad. Setting boundaries around family respect is crucial—perhaps agreeing that personal disagreements shouldn’t dictate wedding roles. If the fiancé doubles down, it might be time to pause and reflect on whether this dynamic aligns with a healthy future.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crowd didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of advice and outrage. Here are some of their hottest takes:

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Nice_Butterfly_6903 − 🚩🚩🚩 Your fiancé is trying to control you. He sees your father as a threat to his control over you. There is no rational reason as to why he is taking issue with the issues he has been having a go at you over. I have been where you are.. Please OP look up the term “coercive control”. I wish I had realised this concept sooner.. NTA

fuzzy_mic − Why are you marrying this guy? 'Sell your truck or you're not my friend', 'you're grieving too much, too publicly' (and then the gall to publicly shame your dad for not grieving to his standards), 'you will be paying for my wedding'. If he wants this to determine his relationships, that's his call.

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But to ask that you limit your relationships to the people he approves, that's awfully controlling and self centered. I doubt that your dad is the only person that brings out the self centered j**kass in him. It sounds like you've dismissed an awful lot of his behavior. But if you are going to make the mistake of marrying this jerk, NTA for having your father walk you down the aisle.

greeneyekitty − Yeah don’t marry this a**hole. “Lucky to be invited because he didn’t give me money”? Run. NTA

[Reddit User] − YTA for planning on marrying this man. Although admittedly, I’m going with “a**hole” because “dangerously oblivious to the red flag parade of signs your control freak fiancé is trying to drive a wedge between you and your family to what *cannot* possibly be any good purpose” isn’t an option.

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ShottySHD − NTA. Probably should skip the aisle altogether.

aaaliyh − NTA 100% Just wondering though, if you’re so close to your dad, why are you marrying someone who so clearly doesn’t respect him? He doesn’t have to be best friends with the guy, but some common decency is the bare minimum when you (and by extension your family) will be tied to this man for life. TBH your fiancé sounds emotionally immature, extremely entitled,

and like he’s someone who’s extremely inconsiderate of you and your wishes (because seriously??? not wanting your own father to walk you down the isle is ridiculous), so I would honestly rethink this relationship if I was you. Best of luck either way, and if you do go through with the wedding I’m sure you’ll look beautiful as your dad walks you down the isle.

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falconprincess − NTA and every one of the “disagreements” you listed sound like your fiancé being a jerk and your dad doing nothing wrong. And now your fiancé is trying to prevent you from having an important moment with your father on your wedding day because of petty nonsense. Your fiancé sounds a lot worse than selfish to me.

Andante79 − INFO Why do you want to marry this guy at all? Even if this is the only time he's behaved like this... come on.

filthybananapeel − Why the f**k are you marrying this guy. He doesn’t get along with your only parent for stupid reasons. YOURE 23. You can find someone who treats you and your fam nicely, do it. Marry this guy would be the biggest mistake of your life.. NTA, but you will be to yourself for marrying him.

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mxcrnt2 − To paraphrase : Your fiancee poor-shames your father, mocks his emotions and sentimentality, and accuses a person who has a healthy way of dealing with past grief of being manipulative. He thinks he has a veto in the wedding and accuses you of hurting him for wanting your father to walk you down the aisle.

Though I kind of agree that your father shouldn't be walking you down the aisle, because you should not be marrying this man. You're NTA but your boyfriend is a narcissist and he will get worse over time. The way he treats your father now he'll start treating you.

Imagine talking about something difficult in your life and being accused of doing it for sympathy. Imagine being cut off from an important event because you don't contribute in the way that he wants you to.

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These opinions are fiery, but do they capture the full picture, or are they just Reddit’s signature flair for drama?

This bride’s story is a rollercoaster of love, loyalty, and looming red flags. Her fiancé’s push to sideline her dad feels like more than a wedding spat—it’s a glimpse into their future dynamic. Readers, what’s your take? Would you stand firm for your family’s role in your big day, or try to compromise for peace? Share your thoughts and experiences—have you ever faced a partner who clashed with your loved ones? What would you do in her shoes?

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